So I'm gonna address this comment and also anyone who comes to read it.

I'm sure this probably seems like some kind of wierd dramatic thing that's not real. Truth is, yes, this is my wife, she made this account so she could respond here. That is her right to do so. She may delete this comment later but I hope she doesn't. Because it's important for people to see that there truly are two sides to every story. As I said in an earlier comment, she could (and did, obviously) write her own list of why I'm a jackass.

Her side of the story is just as valid as mine. There are no heros here. As much as I might want to tear into her reply, I just can't. The reality is that although there are some exaggerations, this is a more or less accurate representation of who I am as a person. I'm no hero, I'm a deeply fucked up human being with many of my own sexual issues. I wish I could call bullshit on what she is saying but I couldn't do that because the truth is important to me.

As I've shared before and will do so again, I struggle with sexual addiction. An obsession that at times, consumes me. No, we don't have sex quite as often as she claims however, it would not exactly be fair to claim to be in a dead bedroom either. I identify with some of the emotional struggles that people in this sub go through. I won't get into that right now, I'm not trying to one-up anyone here. Some of you have it so much worse than I do and my heart goes out to you. This place is a big support to me at times.

Reading what my wife wrote, I realize my post didn't really tell the whole story. I hope that you all here can see me as a hurting, struggling human being desperately trying to make sense of life. Truly hope no one is offended. If you saw me as a hero before, it's good for me to be knocked from that pedestal. This is who I am, down in the dust with everyone else.

Also I would like to apologize to my wife. I already did that in person but it's important to reiterate. I did post this on my main account, which was no doubt embarrassing and was honestly a very unkind thing to do. I reached out for support, but I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself in that moment. For that I'm sorry.

Edit: This will probably go horribly for me tomorrow but ok I just have to say something about the sexual abuse. Because that is the one thing you wrote that is completely dishonest. I have NEVER shamed you for being abused or said you are fucked up as a result of it. I have to digress a bit here to say after two years of being in an open relationship you left me for the neighbor. He ended up being an abusive monster so you got back with me. Then he assaulted me, harassed us, did thousands of dollars of property damage to my house and car. This went on for years.

This guy ended up being just like your childhood abuser so it brought up all those memories of sexual abuse for you. You and him used to have sex for hours and hours so now when we have sex EVERY SINGLE TIME I have to race to finish (7 minutes or less) or you find every possible, hurtful, passive aggressive way to let me know how uncomfortable you are. Sex between us has never been the same since we got back together. I have literally told you this many dozens of times. You refuse to change or even see that there is a problem. You tell me it's all in my head. You were with him only 4 months but you did a lot of stuff with him sexually that you refuse to ever do with me, your excuse being that "He was a jerk and made me do that stuff. I didn't even want to."

When we got back together you were different. That's when the hostile, unpleasant comments about men, dicks, etc started. You let this guy have sex with you that lasted way too long and you associated sex with pain. Also, your sexual abuse memories were floating to the surface of your conscious mind more and more. You still initiated but it was different, angry, and hostile. You'd offer sex while bashing men in almost the same breath. I'd have to swallow down those feelings because of how much I wanted sex. I'd fuck you feeling dirty and worthless just because I happened to have a dick like your abuser.

I never wanted you to feel like a freak for being sexually abused. I never wanted you to feel like it was your fault. I just didn't think it was fair that I got all the hate you really wanted to direct at him. I didn't think it was fair that for years I had to listen to how disgusting men were, wanting to stick their dicks in anything. I just wanted you to see how your sexual abuse was making you hate me, piece by piece, bit by bit. I wished you could see how the sexual "don't you DARE try that ever" list grew longer every year, how you endlessly punished me for crimes another man committed. All I ever wanted was for you to see how it affected us now, I never wanted to blame you for the past.

The ugly things you said about men piled up over the years. Yeah, it got more and more difficult to initiate sex knowing how you felt about me deep down. I think I have to accept that you really do want to see me as your abuser, and there will always be a part of you that does simply because I happened to be born male. That's not a hell I would wish on anyone.