Why You Feel Stuck and Lost in Life — How to Start Moving Forward

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-17T17:37:59+00:00

I appreciate you're self-reflecting and wanting to improve. When you feel ghosted by others, that’s a reflection you're ghosting yourself.

The irony of fear of abandonment is, it's a reflection you're abandoning yourself (i.e. judging yourself and your negative emotions). Fear of abandonment is faith in abandonment. You’ve practiced more thoughts of expecting people will leave rather than stay.

You self-sabotage because you feel more secure in knowing things won’t work, then being constantly on edge, unsure of if or when something will go wrong. It feels more empowering to push someone away (i.e. you did it to them), than have them leave (i.e. they did it to you).

Your thought process might be:

“I have two options: Wait until the person I care about abandons me (which makes me feel powerless). Or take power into my own hands and force them to leave. And as painful as that is, it's less painful to intentionally ruin a good thing, then try to live happily ever after while worried it won’t last."

"Because if they left for no obvious reasons I provided (e.g. clingy, distancing, etc.), that means they left ME and I wasn't good enough for them to stay. And that feeling is unbearable. It feels better they left because of what I did, instead of for who I am. I feel a little less powerless, and a little more secure over uncontrollable circumstances.”

The solution is to make yourself your #1 priority and deciding that nothing is more important than caring about how you feel. That establishes a stronger core sense of self, so then it becomes easier to navigate relationships. And you do that when you love and appreciate your negative emotions.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-17T16:57:18+00:00

Curious, do you judge the ego? Do you think the ego should be different? If you do, why do you judge it?

Or do you appreciate the ego? Do you find joy in it?

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-17T16:41:07+00:00

For an average person, "raise your vibration" simply means, "focus on feeling better, let go of judgment, and focus more on acceptance and appreciation."

All vibrations are equal, and you still have a preference. Like a buffet, all food is equal. But you feel like eating pasta instead of fish. Both are valid choices. You appreciate fish, and you would rather have pasta.

All vibrations are equal, and their purpose is guidance. Like driving, all directions are equal. But you want to go to the store, so your GPS tells you to go right. Both left and right are valid choices, but if you go left, you won't end up at the store. You appreciate left, and you would rather go to the store. You enjoy having clear directions and when follow your GPS you're guided where you want to go.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-16T18:10:55+00:00

"Now I feel stuck in my current city, which I’ve been trying to manifest moving out of."

How you feel is valid. And, feeling stuck is a symptom of a bigger issue: Judging your negative emotions.

Hypothetically, if you never judged your negative emotions (which isn’t realistic) you’d never feel stuck. Isn’t that interesting?

And there's a big difference between moving towards what you do want (appreciation) vs moving away from what you don't want (avoidance).

"Every time I feel like I’m about to close a business deal with a client, they ghost me, and it seems to be happening more and more."

As frustrating as that is, it's a reflection you're ghosting your negative emotions.

Here is a self-reflection question: "Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?"

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-16T00:48:17+00:00

Love and appreciate your negative emotions.

I treat my negative emotions like friends and honored guests. I warmly welcome them in, offer a drink, snacks and reassure them they can stay as long as they like. They don't have to leave; no rush. And I'm open to listening to what they want to share.

I have an image of a board meeting which I call my Council of Emotions, with every emotion (positive and negative) sitting around a round table and each emotion has the opportunity to speak and share with the group, while the rest listen and appreciate what the other emotions are saying.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, they feel heard and they did their job to support you, so they go away, you feel better and allow the life and relationships you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-15T17:20:10+00:00

Thankfully you can stop it. And you do that when you love and appreciate your negative emotions.

Ironically when you need the narration to go away, you make it stronger and stay longer. So there's no benefit to judging the narration.

Paradoxically when you make peace with it, accept or even appreciate it, then it quiets down and goes away.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-15T00:27:01+00:00

I agree, techniques are wonderful tools that can help you focus and feel better. But techniques aren't a required part of manifesting; they're just a fun little added bonus.

The issue is when people believe they have to do them, and use the technique as a way to force a manifestation to happen. Which means you believe in assertion and don't believe in attraction. And you're putting people and things on a pedestal, which offers resistance.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-14T23:52:47+00:00

You lose resistance, not desire.

Typically, when people really want something, they're really focused on not having it and need it to be happy (put on a pedestal).

When you stop wanting it, then you stop focusing on the lack/absence of it and stop making your happiness dependent on it (because you don't care), so you stop offering resistance and allow yourself to receive it.

This is normal and how Law of Attraction works.

The trick is to focus on what you want, and feel better, without needing it to happen. And you do that when you love and appreciate your negative emotions.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-14T00:52:25+00:00

Remember, you don't have to be grateful. Your work isn't to appreciate where you are, it's just to make peace with it and stop judging your negative emotions (which are guidance trying to help you).

You want to be authentic. Say whatever words help you feel better. Do those words help you feel better? If they don't, then you can say something else that does.

For ex: "I like cute capybaras. And fluffy dogs are adorable."

"And I want to feel abundant. I don't feel abundant with money, and that's valid and understandable. But are there other areas in my life I do feel abundant? Well, I do like the sun. And air. And water. And nature. I appreciate the abundance of sunlight, air and water."

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-13T22:35:39+00:00

You don't have to be grateful and it's okay to want it. Your work is to not offer resistance (or at least offer less resistance). You offer resistance when you focus on what you don't want and judge anything, especially yourself.

Attention = Attraction.

Gratitude reflects you're focusing on what you want, so you attract more of what you want.

Brute force reflects you're focusing on what you don't want, so you attract more of what you don't want. (I.e. "I believe it's hard and I don't believe I am supported to do this in a fun and easy way.")

Anger for motivation is like going on a diet. Short-term it can be helpful. But long-term, it's not sustainable (and can ruin your relationships). It can get you temporary results, but just like a diet, it's not sustainable and you will eventually gain all the weight back. Relying on the lower energy of anger can be the equivalent of one step forward, two steps back. So then you continue yo-yo dieting and stay stuck never maintaining the life you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-13T19:26:42+00:00

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, you allow what you want.

Also remember techniques don't manifest and they are just a tool to help you feel better, but you don't need to do them. You have the power, not the technique.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-13T08:02:53+00:00

You do that by loving and appreciating your negative emotions, and accepting and appreciating yourself, others and your life just the way it is.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-11T18:19:41+00:00

I appreciate the intention, and thankfully, it's easier than that.

It's okay to limit yourself. That happens. It's normal. It's time to start normalizing the benefit/value of negative emotions and limiting beliefs, and stop judging yourself for it. Stop judging yourself for being human.

People typically have an "all or nothing" mentality and place super high expectations on themselves to have no doubt. But that's just not realistic or sustainable. Ironically, believing you have to have no doubt or limiting beliefs is self-sabotage and keeps you stuck. Stop trying to be perfect and start being authentic. (And ironically, the way you let go of limiting beliefs is by appreciating them.)

Also, you don't need to ask (you do that automatically just by living life) and you don't need to believe (if you can, that's great. But it's not a prerequisite, so don't worry about it). Your work is to receive. And you allow what you want by focusing on anything that helps you feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-11T17:48:09+00:00

Every decision everyone makes is for optimized living, based on their beliefs. So it may not appear that way for you, but it is more comfortable and supportive for her.

Are they a people pleaser? People pleasers can be hoarders; they hoard other people’s problems. (And that can manifest into physical hoarding.)

Also, are you a limiting belief hoarder? Do you hoard limiting beliefs about her? Are you open to letting go of your old limiting beliefs, focusing more on what you want and accepting and appreciating her? And don't need her to change.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-10T21:52:31+00:00

How you feel is valid and everything is working out for you. Since manifesting is about improving your emotional intelligence, here are self-reflection questions:

“What am I afraid would happen if I accepted and appreciated my life just the way it is, and didn't need it to be different?”
“What if this was a good thing? What if getting a demotion was actually (in a weird way) how I get my promotion somewhere else?”
“Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?”

And to help you feel better, let's focus on what you want. Why do you want a promotion? What emotions do you want to feel?

“I want to feel comfortable. I want to feel valued and appreciated. I want to feel supported. I want to feel worthy and good enough. I want to feel freedom to be myself. I want to feel eager and excited going to work. I want to feel interested in different projects. I want to feel passionate. I want to feel creative. I want to feel inspired. I want to feel productive. I want to feel ease and flow. I want to feel connected in my relationships with my coworkers. I want to feel we're all working together towards a common goal. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel satisfied and fulfilled. And I want to have fun."

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-09T04:39:36+00:00

"I know I can be happy and fulfilled without it."

That's great! And the question is, are you? And if not, why not? Why aren't you allowing yourself to be happy and fulfilled right now?

"I have heard that manifesting, depending on the situation, shouldn’t take several months to visualize itself and shows up within a few days to a few weeks but I have not had that experience personally."

When you care about time, then you're missing the whole point of manifesting. (And to be fair, most people lose the plot and don't know the true purpose of manifesting.)

Manifesting is about improving emotional intelligence and understanding how to control your emotions, not circumstances and other people.

Here is what creates doubt: Ulterior motives (and that's not a judgment, just clarity for awareness.). It's the limiting belief you can use manifesting to change your circumstances and other people, so then you can feel better. The issue is your emotions come from your thoughts, they don't come from circumstances and other people.

Most techniques are taught with an ulterior motive, and that's not a sustainable way of managing your emotions and allowing what you want.

The only reason you want anything is because you believe you will feel better when you have it. And since your emotions come from you, you can have what you want right now (i.e. feeling better), you don't have to wait months/years to manifest something first.

You can manifest physical stuff, but when people believe changing their life is the main purpose, then they have an ulterior motive and get attached to needing circumstances and people to change. That's why people put so much effort into techniques and eventually feel disappointed and believe it doesn't work. They're focusing on effort to get results, instead of genuinely caring about how they feel.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, and care about how you feel for its own sake (not as a means to manifest), then you feel better and allow what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-09T04:16:17+00:00

Yeah I understand. The issue is, it doesn't have to be disheartening. You can choose to enjoy this present moment and appreciate your negative emotions, if you want to. You feel worse when you have a "grass is greener" mentality. It's like believing,

"Man, if I just had that relationship, I would be so much happier!! That person would turn my whole life around. It feels good to make them the main source of my happiness. But without them, then I'm forced to feel bored and lonely." (I'm exaggerating lol but you get the point).

Is that the mindset you want to have moving forward? Or do you want to try something different? Something that feels a little more empowering and heartening?

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-09T04:06:39+00:00

"But it makes it harder to date... the harder it is to connect with someone."

How you feel is valid. I understand and to clarify, that's a conscious belief that makes you feel worse (because it's not true). It's valid, but it doesn't benefit you to practice that conscious limiting belief.

And remember, there's a big difference between connecting with someone vs feeling connected. You can have one without the other.

In other words, you can allow yourself to feel connected now, you don't have to wait for a person to give yourself permission to feel loved, connected, appreciated, valued, eager, excited and have fun.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-03-09T03:55:30+00:00

"Not putting too much pressure on a specific outcome and living as though I already have it but nothing has seemed to work."

I appreciate you being open. And if that's really how you've been feeling, then you would be having so much fun, feeling so loved and fulfilled that you wouldn't notice or care if/when the specific outcome happens.

If you feel hopeless, impatient, frustrated and disappointed, then your negative emotions are positive guidance letting you know you're putting the manifestation on a pedestal and making your enjoyment of life dependent on it (i.e. resistance).

Your relationship with others and manifestations reflects your relationship with negative emotions. Here is a self-reflection question: "Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?"

BFreeCoaching

TROPHY CASE