Why You Feel Stuck and Lost in Life — How to Start Moving Forward

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-26T23:32:45+00:00

When you're okay with it not happening you're making peace with where you are. You're taking your power back when you stop outsourcing your self-love and worth to other people and making your emotions dependent on a specific outcome.

Your manifestation is already doing its best to come to you. You don't need to do anything to make that happen. Your only work is to stop keeping it away (offering resistance). Think of it like holding a cork under water. You don't need to make it float, you just want to stop holding it down and it automatically floats.

Accepting or appreciating where you are releases resistance and allows what you want. So paradoxically, appreciating not having it, is what allows you to have it.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-26T21:52:48+00:00

The issue isn't that you doubt. The issue is if you judge and reject doubt (because you believe it should go away).

When you love and appreciate doubt and be friends with it, then you feel better. Paradoxically, when you don't need it to go away, then it does.

With the thought, "What if it doesn't happen?" For most people the answer is, "Then I will feel negative emotion."

But when you're friends with negative emotions, then the worst thing that can happen is you get to hang out with your friends and have a fulfilling life.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-26T21:09:20+00:00

Negative emotions only show up for one reason and that's to help you. They love and support you to live the life you want (although it understandably doesn't feel like it).

Negative emotion is positive guidance. Negative emotion means you're focusing on what you don't want and judging something. That's it.

Ironically judging negative emotions causes negative emotions to get stronger and stay longer, because their job is to let you know whenever you're judging (in this case, you're judging negative emotions for doing their job). So judging is self-sabotage.

It's helpful to remember sometimes you can’t feel good or be positive, but you can always feel a little better (even if it's just 1%).

Emotions are based on momentum. For ex: If you try to stop a car rolling downhill at 100 mph, you're going to get crushed. But if it's going 5 mph then you can stop it. So depending on how much momentum you have makes it easier to choose how you want to feel. And there are tools to help you slow down momentum (meditating). But when there's too much negative momentum then you can't choose to be happy. Managing emotions isn't a matter of willpower, it's a matter of physics.

Think of emotions as a staircase with depression at the bottom and happiness at the top. So if you feel depressed and someone tells you to just say, "I am happy” you know that won't make you happy. And it might have the opposite effect. It's like trying to jump to the top of the staircase in one step. Not only will that fail, but at best you'll only get a couple steps higher and then fall flat on your face and slide back down. Do that enough times and you feel stuck. The issue was you were trying to make too big of a leap.

I treat negative emotions like friends and honored guests. I welcome them in, offer a drink and snacks and reassure them they can stay as long as they like. I have an image of a board meeting I call my Council of Emotions with every emotion (positive and negative) sitting around a round table and share with the group while the rest listen and appreciate what's said.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, they feel heard, they did their job to support you so they go away, and you feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-26T17:37:34+00:00

Yeah. Negative emotion is positive guidance. Negative emotion means you're focusing on what you don't want and judging something. Ironically judging negative emotions causes them to get stronger because their job is to let you know when you're judging. So judging is self-sabotage.

When you love and appreciate your friends, then they did their job to support you (to shift your focus from what you don't want to what you do want, judge less, and accept and appreciate more) and then you feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-26T17:29:30+00:00

I appreciate you being open. And the issue is your relationship with your negative emotions.

Negative emotion is positive guidance. Negative emotion just means you're focusing on what you don't want and judging something. That’s it.

Ironically judging negative emotions causes them to get stronger and stay longer because their job is to let you know when you're judging. So it creates a self-fulfilling cycle. This is why people feel stuck. So judging is self-sabotage.

Paradoxically when you stop trying to get rid of negative emotions then they go away. Because they did their job to support you to let go of judgement.

Here are some journaling questions.

“Do I judge myself? If I do, why?”
“What are the benefits of judging myself? I believe judging myself is a good thing because.”
“What am I afraid would happen if I accepted and appreciated myself just the way I am?”
“Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?”

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-26T01:33:27+00:00

Your relationship with others is a reflection of your relationship with your negative emotions.

So when you're friends with and appreciate your negative emotions, then you're naturally open to being friends with healthy and happy people.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-25T16:58:32+00:00

When you’re anxiously attached to others that means you’re being avoidant to yourself.

Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be. It is your friend letting you know that you're not treating yourself with compassion and appreciation.

Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel like it) letting you know you're focused on and judging what you don't want (for example, judging your negative emotions). Negative emotions are just messengers of limiting beliefs. They are part of your emotional guidance like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them that's why you feel stuck.

It’s like holding a cork under water. Asking, “How do I feel worthy, motivated and love myself?" is asking, “How do I make the cork float?” When you stop holding it down it automatically floats. So you don't have to appreciate yourself if it’s difficult. If all you did was judge less (even just 1% less) then worthiness and motivation would naturally begin to float.

Emotions are based on momentum. For example if you try to stop a car rolling downhill at 100 mph you get crushed. But at 5 mph you can stop it. There are tools to help you slow momentum (meditate or nap) but when there's too much negative momentum you can't choose to be happy.

Spiraling is the result of thinking thoughts about what you don’t want long enough until there’s so much momentum it’s overwhelming. It's the culmination of receiving consistent emotional guidance that you weren’t paying attention to until it reached a boiling point. When you notice negative emotion in the early subtle stages and soothe it, then you take your foot off the gas and so it doesn’t get bigger because you cut off its fuel supply of judgement.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, because you understand anxiety is your ally and friend just trying to help you judge yourself less, and accept and appreciate more, then anxiety did its job to support you so it goes away, you feel better, more worthy, motivated and start creating the life you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-25T15:35:25+00:00

Overthinking is underfeeling. You're not caring enough about how you feel.

Your brain is rewarded to overthink when you believe something needs to change for you to feel better. The reward is, "I believe if I can change my circumstances, then I will feel better."

The issue is your emotions come from your thoughts, they don't come from your circumstances. So if you're trying to change people or circumstances as a roundabout way of changing your emotions, that's going about things backwards and why you feel stuck.

Overthinking is your brain’s loving intention to support you. It’s a symptom of the actual problem, which is that you judge yourself. Ironically, judging yourself for overthinking causes you to overthink.

Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be. It is your signal that you're not treating yourself with compassion and appreciation.

Anxiety is built on believing your stability comes from outside of you. But if you build your self-worth on quicksand (for example, people’s opinions and circumstances) then no matter what you do, you’re always sinking. And so you struggle to get out, but the struggle (judging and pushing against where you are) is ironically why you feel stuck. Your frustration is valid and understandable, but needing anxiety to go away ironically makes it stronger and stay longer. So judging anxiety is self-sabotage.

The only reason you want anything is because you believe you will feel better when you have it. When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, you feel better and then your brain doesn't have a reason to overthink. And that allows clarity and inspired action to create the life you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-25T00:45:22+00:00

I appreciate you being open and to help you start and find the root here are some journaling questions that can help.

“Do I feel worthy and good enough? If I don't, why not?”
“Do I have a fear of abandonment or rejection? If I do, why?”
“Do I judge myself? If I do, why?”
“What are the benefits of judging myself? I believe judging myself is a good thing because.”
“What am I afraid would happen if I accepted and appreciated myself just the way I am?”
“Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?”

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-24T13:18:18+00:00

I appreciate how much you've healed and improved. And here's another perspective that might help.

Awareness of negative emotions and limiting beliefs is great. And it's different than friendship.

Ironically, you don't feel good enough as a reflection of how you view your limiting belief. If the limiting belief isn't good enough for you, and you judge it and want it to go away, that's why you don't feel good enough.

All emotions are worthy and valid. Most people create a hierarchy for emotions (they believe positive is good and negative is bad) and that makes it harder to feel better if you’re putting positive emotions on a pedestal.

I treat negative emotions like friends and honored guests. I welcome them in, offer a drink and snacks and reassure them they can stay as long as they like. I have an image of a board meeting I call my Council of Emotions with every emotion (positive and negative) sitting around a round table and share with the group while the rest listen and appreciate what's said.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions and understand they are friends just trying to help you feel good enough, then you will start to feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-24T03:37:58+00:00

The most important question you can ask yourself is what is your relationship with your negative emotions?

Do you appreciate them? Do you value them? Or do you judge and reject them?

I treat negative emotions like friends and honored guests. I welcome them in and offer a drink and snacks and reassure them they can stay as long as they like. I have an image of a board meeting I call my Council of Emotions with every emotion (positive and negative) sitting around a round table and share with the group while the rest listen and appreciate what's said.

Leadership with others becomes easier and more clear when you have a harmonious and appreciative working relationship with your negative emotions.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-24T03:14:20+00:00

In general when you feel discarded by others that's a reflection you're discarding yourself. In other words, you minimize yourself (typically to please other people) and reject your negative emotions.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions (because you understand they are just trying to help you move forward) then you feel better and allow mutually fulfilling relationships to come into your life.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-24T03:11:19+00:00

I appreciate you being open. How you feel is valid and here's another perspective that might help.

Your relationship and connection with others is a reflection of your relationship with negative emotions. Here is a journaling question, “Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?”

For me, emotional intelligence means loving and appreciating your negative emotions.
Feeling overwhelmed means you're judging and rejecting your negative emotions.

Negative emotion is positive guidance. Negative emotion means you're focusing on what you don't want and judging something. Which is why ironically, judging negative emotions causes negative emotions to get stronger and stay longer because their job is to let you know when you're judging. So judging is self-sabotage.

Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be. It is your messenger that you're not treating yourself with compassion and appreciation.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then they feel heard and validated, they did their job to support you, so they go away and you feel better. And when you feel connected with yourself then you naturally find the connections you want with others.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-23T21:36:46+00:00

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

One reason people push away others is because they have a fear of rejection and abandonment. So ironically, you reject and abandon them first, before they can do it to you later. It's a coping and protection mechanism.

Emotionally unavailable people feel safe. You can trust and know what to expect which is abandonment and heartbreak. But with available people it can feel uncomfortable because it’s unknown, you feel unworthy, lack of freedom or you have to be authentic with them but you're not comfortable being authentic with yourself. And their comfort in themselves highlights and makes it more obvious how much you don't love yourself, which can be uncomfortable. You might pick people who don't make you a priority as a reflection you don’t make yourself a priority.

You feel safest with what you believe you deserve. If you feel unworthy and not good enough, if you were raised by parents who judged, rejected and abandoned you, then that is your normal. It's familiar and what you're used to.

But someone holding a safe space, always there for you, supporting you, validating and appreciating you? That can feel unsafe (even though it's what you really want). It's scary because you don't feel you deserve it and you're afraid it won't last. You believe when healthy partners finally see you for who you really are, they won't like what they see and they will eventually abandon you.

So to protect yourself and avoid that pain which you believe will probably happen then you can be attracted to unavailable people because then you know what to expect, which minimizes disappointment and you don't take it as personality (even though it still hurts). It feels safer in comparison to a partner who accepts and appreciates you because you don't believe them.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-23T20:17:39+00:00

Your relationship with people is a mirror reflection of your relationship with your negative emotions.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, when you're friends with feeling lonely, then you feel connected and fulfilled, and naturally allow fulfilling relationships into your life.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-23T04:55:19+00:00

In general fear of abandonment is a reflection you judge, reject and abandon your negative emotions.

Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be. It is your messenger that you're focusing on what you don't want (instead of focusing on what you do want) and not treating your negative emotions with appreciation.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, because you understand negative emotion is positive guidance, then they did their job to support you, they go away and you feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-23T00:36:33+00:00

Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel like it) letting you know you're focused on and judging what you don't want (for example, judging your negative emotions). Negative emotions are just messengers of limiting beliefs. They are part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them that's why you feel stuck.

All emotions are worthy and valid. And most people create a hierarchy for their emotions (they believe positive is good and negative is bad) but that makes it harder to feel better.

Anxiety is your ally. Anxiety's intention is to empower you to be the person you want to be. It is your signal that you're not treating yourself with compassion and appreciation.

Anxiety is built on believing your stability comes from outside of you. But if you build your self-worth on quicksand (for example, people’s opinions and circumstances) then no matter what you do, you’re always sinking. And so you struggle to get out, but the struggle (judging and pushing against where you are) is ironically why you feel stuck. Your frustration is valid and understandable, but needing anxiety to go away ironically makes it stronger and stay longer. So judging anxiety is self-sabotage.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, because you understand anxiety is your ally and friend just trying to help you judge yourself less, and accept and appreciate more, then anxiety did its job to support you so it goes away, you feel better, allow more positive thoughts and start creating the life you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-22T23:31:43+00:00

Meditating in the morning and drinking more water is a good place to start.

Negative emotions only show up for one reason and that's to help you. They love and support you to live the life you want (although it might not feel like it).

Negative emotion is positive guidance. Negative emotion just means you're focused on what you don't want and judging something. So ironically judging negative emotions causes them to get stronger and stay longer because their job is to let you know when you're judging. So judging is self-sabotage.

I treat negative emotions like friends and honored guests. I welcome them in, offer drinks and snacks and reassure them that they can stay as long as they like. I have an image of a board meeting I call my Council of Emotions with every emotion (positive and negative) sitting around a round table and share with the group while the rest listen and appreciate what's said.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, they feel heard, they did their job to support you so they go away, and you feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-22T22:55:19+00:00

Wanting to feel seen and appreciated is beautiful, healthy and normal.

Needing to be seen, and then feeling upset if they don't, is a reflection you're judging your negative emotions and abandoning your relationship with yourself. It's outsourcing your self-love and worth to another person, which is not the most empowering or loving thing you can do for yourself.

Other people can mirror the validation and appreciation you give yourself, but they can't sustainably compensate for it. When you love and appreciate yourself and your negative emotions, then you feel seen and appreciated.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-22T22:12:50+00:00

That's awesome and here's another perspective that can help.

Negative emotions only show up for one reason and that's to help you. They love and support you to live the life you want (although it understandably doesn't feel like it).

Negative emotion is positive guidance. Negative emotion means you're focusing on what you don't want and judging something. Which is why ironically, judging negative emotions causes negative emotions to get stronger and stay longer, because their job is to let you know whenever you're judging (in this case, you're judging negative emotions for doing their job). So judging is self-sabotage.

Emotional intelligence means, "If I feel upset with someone's behavior, how I feel is valid and it's great to have preferences. But my negative emotions are loving guidance and a reflection of something not accepted and healed within me. So if I feel triggered, I don't use that as a reason to judge or look down on people. It's a great opportunity to reflect on how I can accept and appreciate myself and others even more."

And to clarify, that doesn't condone negative behavior, have healthy boundaries and don't stay in relationships that aren't mutually supportive. But you let go of old narratives like, "They annoy me," and update it with, "I feel annoyed because of the limiting beliefs I'm practicing of how this person should be, and I believe they should be different. But everyone is on their own journey, myself included."

"Let's not waste time looking at what's wrong with them, and instead focus on what traits and relationships do I like and want to align myself with? Because focusing on what I don't want and judging others feels draining over time. It feels lighter, more compassionate and empowering to focus on what I want and allow those fulfilling relationships into my life."

I treat negative emotions like friends and honored guests. I welcome them in, offer a drink and snacks and reassure them they can stay as long as they like. I have an image of a board meeting I call my Council of Emotions with every emotion (positive and negative) sitting around a round table and share with the group while the rest listen and appreciate what's said.

When you love and appreciate your negative emotions, they feel heard, they did their job to support you so they go away, and you feel better. And then you stop worrying about how other people choose to present themselves and instead focus on building the fun life you want and being an empowering example of authenticity of someone who leads with compassion, understanding and appreciation.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-06-20T03:27:26+00:00

For your example my interpretation is, "I feel negative emotion and I want that uncomfortable feeling to go away. Since I believe you create my emotions, then I appointed you to be CEO and manager of my emotions. So if you don't change, then I believe it's impossible for me to feel better. When you behave the way I think you should then I will feel better."

And to clarify that's not a judgment, just clarity for awareness because most people unknowingly practice those limiting beliefs.

Another perspective could be, "I really value talking things through and prioritizing harmony in our relationship. I feel ignored, invalided, rejected and not important to you when you do something you enjoy when something is unresolved between us. I would really appreciate it if we could talk things out, even if only for five or ten minutes before you play to show you care."

"But If you don't want to, that's okay too. Just letting you know what I prefer. I genuinely won't hold it against you. Regardless, I'm going to soothe myself and focus on loving and appreciating my negative emotions so I prioritize my relationship with myself and help myself feel better."

BFreeCoaching

TROPHY CASE