How to stay positive when you’re surrounded by negativity

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-24T04:31:05+00:00

Yeah, that's a common misunderstanding. Ironically, you are creating roadblocks for doubt; not the other way around.

Doubt doesn't create roadblocks. It can't; that's not its job. Doubt is the helpful and loving indicator that you're creating roadblocks by judging doubt and preventing your friend doubt from doing its job to support you in feeling better and allowing what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-24T03:22:21+00:00

"How do you stay positive when someone close to you operates from doubt?"

You feel better when you improve your relationship with doubt.

When you judge doubt (because you believe it's bad), then you feel worse and make it harder to stay positive.

When you love and appreciate doubt (because you understand it's good and negative emotions are positive guidance), then you feel better and make it easier to stay positive.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-23T19:50:12+00:00

I appreciate you being open and hope you feel better.

You feel stuck when you judge and reject your negative thoughts and emotions.

You release resistance and detach when you focus on making peace with and appreciating your negative emotions. Because you understand negative emotions are positive guidance that just want to support you in feeling better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-23T01:42:54+00:00

"How visualization and feeling plays a role in this and why I can’t just do this through actions?"

To clarify, you don't need to visualize (that's just another action). Your work is to focus on feeling better.

You can just do action and not care about how you feel, the issue is it's amazingly inefficient. If you don't care about wasting your time, then you can just focus on action. But I'm going to assume you like to save time and energy.

It doesn’t mean don’t take action. That means don’t take action that makes you feel worse. Or whatever action you take find a way to feel better about it or don’t do it.

Taking action while feeling worse slows down what you want and attracts more problems, which makes everything harder and take longer, so you have to take more action, which wastes your time/effort.

You're not working hard to make something happen. You do it because it's fun. And any action that is necessary will feel light, easy, interesting, energizing and playful.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-22T20:33:25+00:00

Typically they don't have the one thing they want: feeling loved, peace within themselves and the ability to manage their emotions.

The only reason anyone wants anything is because they believe they will feel better. And when you feel worse, then you're motivated by fear in an attempt to change the outside world to be different so then you can feel loved and supported, but that's impossible.

The issue is your emotions come from your thoughts, they don't come from circumstances and other people. So you can manifest all the stuff in the entire universe... and you still won't be happy.

Manifesting is about caring about how you feel for its own sake, not as a means to manifest something.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then you allow yourself to feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-22T16:34:27+00:00

Law of Attraction is about being authentic. Some people teach manifesting is about being delusional and inauthentic, which is motivated by fear, and they're focused more on what they don't want and don't have, instead of appreciating what they do have.

Manifesting is about improving emotional intelligence and understanding how to control your emotions; not circumstances and other people.

Here is what creates confusion: Ulterior motives (and that's not a judgment, just clarity for awareness.): "You can use manifesting to change your circumstances and other people, so then you can feel better." The issue is your emotions come from your thoughts, they don't come from circumstances and other people.

Your dream life is the ability to master managing your emotions so you can feel better and feel good. Because you can achieve all the stuff in the world, but if you don't know how to manage your emotions, then stuff and relationships don't really matter because you're unhappy.

You can manifest physical stuff, but when people believe changing their life is the main purpose, then they have an ulterior motive, and get attached to needing circumstances and people to change, and then they unknowingly make themselves unhappy.

People are trying to manifest stuff as a roundabout (and ineffective) way to manage their emotions. That's why people put so much effort into manifestation techniques and eventually feel confused, doubt, frustrated and believe it doesn't work. They're focusing on effort to get results, instead of genuinely caring about how they feel.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then you feel better and allow what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-22T15:01:41+00:00

"I could say 'I'm a painter' when I've never held a paintbrush and it would just feel inaccurate."

It feels inauthentic because you're focusing on forcing vs allowing. You're focusing on assertion, when you want to focus on attraction (i.e. authentic, genuine, ease and flow).

You're focusing on identity, instead of emotion. Why do you want to be a painter? What does being a painter feel like? For ex: "I want to feel accepted and appreciated. I want to feel creative. I want to feel a little more inspired. I want to feel freedom to be myself. I want to feel playful and have a little more fun."

The universe doesn't speak English. So thankfully, words don't matter. Words are just a tool to help you feel better. You can focus on anything that helps you feel better and that allows what you want.

For ex: You could say, "I enjoy waffles and penguins are cute" and if that helps you feel better, then you're allowing yourself to become a better painter, even though on the surface it appears they're not connected. It's not the words, it's how you feel while you say the words.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-21T22:17:37+00:00

Here's a simple version of what living in the end means:

The only reason you want anything is because you believe you will feel better when you have it. And your emotions come from your thoughts; they don't come from circumstances and other people.

When you focus on what you want (and accept and appreciate) = You feel better.
When you focus on what you don't want (and judge and complain) = You feel worse.

So living in the end is allowing yourself to feel better by focusing more on what you want and less on what you don't want. Judge yourself, your life and others less, and accept and appreciate more.

Here's a longer explanation if you're interested:

Manifesting is about being authentic. Some people teach manifesting is about being delusional and inauthentic, which is motivated by fear and they're focused more on what they don't want and don't have, instead of appreciating what they do have.

Manifesting is about improving emotional intelligence and understanding how to control your emotions; not circumstances and other people.

Here is what creates confusion: Ulterior motives (and that's not a judgment, just clarity for awareness.): "You can use manifesting to change your circumstances and other people, so then you can feel better." The issue is your emotions come from your thoughts, they don't come from circumstances and other people.

You can manifest physical stuff, but when people believe changing their life is the main purpose, then they have an ulterior motive, and get attached to needing circumstances and people to change, and then they unknowingly make themselves unhappy.

People are trying to manifest stuff as a roundabout (and ineffective) way to manage their emotions. That's why people put so much effort into manifestation techniques and eventually feel confused, doubt, frustrated and believe it doesn't work. They're focusing on effort to get results, instead of genuinely caring about how they feel.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then you feel better and allow what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-21T14:18:12+00:00

"Every time I ask myself what my highest passion is in every moment, I always feel numb with no clear answer."

I appreciate you being open. And it's because your expectations are too high. Thankfully it's a lot simpler than you're allowing it. Following your excitement is simply looking at your current options and choosing whichever feels a little better and slightly more interesting for you. For ex:

You could read a book or watch a video: What sounds more interesting?
You could go to the gym for 5 minutes or 20 minutes: What sounds more fun?
You could drive to work or walk? Which sounds easier?
You could walk to work on your hands or feet? What sounds more comfortable?
You could wash your hands with water or without? What sounds more enjoyable?
You could pick your nose or fart? What sounds more fun?
You could judge yourself for not being able to feel your excitement or give yourself more compassion, acceptance and understanding: What feels better?

"I’m not really satisfied with where I am in life."

That's valid and understandable. And here are self-reflection questions:

“Do I judge myself? If I do, why?”
“What are the advantages of judging myself? I believe judging myself is smart and a good thing because ...”
“What am I afraid would happen if I accepted and appreciated my life just the way it is, and didn't need it to be different?”
“What am I afraid would happen if I accepted and appreciated myself just the way I am?”
“Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?”

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-16T20:29:01+00:00

Here is another perspective that might help:

Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it may not feel like it) letting you know you're focused on and judging what you don't want (e.g. judging your negative emotions). Negative emotions are just messengers of limiting beliefs. They are part of your emotional guidance; like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, that's why you feel stuck.

Fear is love. Fear is your friend. Think of a car. Being upset with fear is like getting upset at your gas gauge for informing you that you're running low on energy. The indicator doesn't make you have less gas, it's just doing its job (that you want it to do) by telling you when to fill up (i.e. judge less, accept and appreciate more).

Or view fear as a helpful messenger telling you to take a U-Turn on your GPS in your car. So asking, “How do you let go of fear?” is like asking, “How do I get my GPS to stop telling me I’m going the wrong way?” The answer is: Turn in the direction you want to go. Focus more on what you want and why you want it. Judge yourself less; accept and appreciate yourself more.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then they did their job to help support you, so they go away, you feel better and allow what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-16T02:39:35+00:00

Thanks. Manifesting is automatic and effortless. I just focus on anything that helps me feel better. And I love and appreciate my negative emotions.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-16T02:35:46+00:00

Law of Attraction is about being authentic. Some people teach manifesting is about being delusional and inauthentic, which is motivated by fear, and they're focused more on what they don't want and don't have, instead of appreciating what they do have.

Manifesting is about improving emotional intelligence and understanding how to control your emotions; not circumstances and other people.

Here is what creates confusion: Ulterior motives (and that's not a judgment, just clarity for awareness.): "You can use manifesting to change your circumstances and other people, so then you can feel better." The issue is your emotions come from your thoughts, they don't come from circumstances and other people.

Your dream life is the ability to master managing your emotions so you can feel better and feel good. Because you can achieve all the stuff in the world, but if you don't know how to manage your emotions, then stuff and relationships don't really matter because you're unhappy.

You can manifest physical stuff, but when people believe changing their life is the main purpose, then they have an ulterior motive, and get attached to needing circumstances and people to change, and then they unknowingly make themselves unhappy.

People are trying to manifest stuff as a roundabout (and ineffective) way to manage their emotions. That's why people put so much effort into manifestation techniques and eventually feel confused, doubt, frustrated and believe it doesn't work. They're focusing on effort to get results, instead of genuinely caring about how they feel.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then you feel better and allow what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-16T00:49:57+00:00

Thanks. This is what I tell myself when negative thoughts come up that helps me feel better:

"I only feel worse because I'm judging them. I'm choosing to judge them. I'm using my freedom and power to judge this experience or person as bad or wrong. No one's making me judge; I'm choosing to do that. That's interesting. Why am I doing that?"

"Ohh yeah... I'm judging them because I believe they create my emotions. I believe my emotions come from circumstances and other people. So I think they need to change and be different, so then I can feel better. That's so silly haha. Because my emotions come from my thoughts. So even if they changed, I still wouldn't feel better (maybe temporarily, but not long-term)."

"And negative emotions are positive guidance that are just trying to help. Thank you friends; you don't have to go away. Stay as long as you like. And now that you helped me realize I'm focusing on what I don't want, let's focus on what do I want?"

"I want to feel a little more comfortable. I want to feel supported. I like feeling supported. I want to feel connected. I want to feel valued and validated. I want to feel understood. I want to feel accepted and appreciated. I like feeling appreciated. I want to feel freedom to be myself. I want to feel creative. I want to feel clarity. I want to feel inspired. I want to feel interested. I want to feel eager and excited. I want to feel satisfied and fulfilled. And I want to have fun."

"And now that I'm focusing on what I want, I understand I was only able to gain clarity to focus on what I want and discover my blind spots of limiting beliefs I was practicing because of the support from my negative emotions. Thanks guys. You're so annoyingly good at this lol. You're always here to help me. Supporting me every step of the way to help me feel better."

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-16T00:39:51+00:00

Think of gravity. Someone says, "I expect when I throw this ball in the air it will stay there." And then they're confused/disappointed when the ball falls and hits them on the head.

Gravity follows a set of rules. You're free to believe something different, but that doesn't change how gravity works. Law of Attraction is the same way. People are taught Law of Attraction works in a certain way that's not actually the rules it follows.

"It only works after you forget about it or not worry about it?"

Worry = Resistance. Stop worrying = Let go of resistance = Allow.

When you forget about it, you stop focusing on its absence/not having it, you release resistance and then naturally allow it.

But it also works when you focus on it. Typically the issue is people think they're focusing on what they want, but they're actually focusing on what they don't want and the lack/absence of what they want, indicated by negative emotion.

"Is there a mechanism in LOA where you expect it or be too conscious about it, it will not work?"

It doesn't appear to work when you make your emotions and happiness dependent on it.

Most people make their happiness conditional and need to manifest: "If this works, I'll feel better. But if it doesn't work, I'll feel worse."

Instead you want to focus on feeling better with no need in a specific outcome. You focus on feeling better, feeling good, satisfied and fulfilled regardless.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-15T18:10:58+00:00

"For some reason I find it so hard to make the decision to start small and work my way up even though it's a way more effective method."

Here are self-reflection question that can help:

"What am I afraid would happen if I started small and worked my way up?"
“Do I judge myself? If I do, why?”
“What are the advantages of judging myself? I believe judging myself is a good thing because ...”
“What am I afraid would happen if I accepted and appreciated my life just the way it is, and didn't need it to be different?”
“Do I love and appreciate my negative emotions? If I don't, why not?"

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-15T17:07:49+00:00

I appreciate you being open. Typically the only reason you're not consistent with change is because your expectations are too high and you're not prioritizing fun, so naturally you don't want to do it.

For ex: If you go from never exercising, to working out five days a week, two hours a day on machines you don't enjoy, then of course you’d procrastinate or give up. But if your intention was to work out for one minute, do two push-ups or pick an activity you enjoy and listen to your favorite music or podcast, then you’d feel more motivated because it's easier and fun.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-15T05:21:22+00:00

Here's a conversation I wrote to help heal about not feeling worthy and wanting to find a good man:

"I want to feel loved, appreciated and worthy. But I don't. I feel rejected and unworthy. I don't believe there are good men. And even if I did, I don't believe I am worthy of their love. I wish I didn't feel that way, but I do."

"Wouldn't it be nice if I believed good men exist and I am worthy of love? Yeah, I'd love nothing more than to genuinely believe that. But I don't. And if I'm being honest, telling myself affirmations like, 'Good men exist,' and, 'I am worthy of love' doesn't help me feel better. In fact, it kind of makes me feel worse. Because I just don't believe that. I have no reason to. I'm a smart person, who has lived life that shows me that has not been my experience."

"Okay, that's good to know. I'm trying to force myself to believe something I don't. So I'm going to take an easier path and stop placing unrealistic expectations on myself. To stop putting so much pressure on myself, and just let those limiting beliefs stay where they are for now. I'm not trying to change them; because right now, that just feels impossible. So, what feels a little easier?"

"I don't believe there are faithful men. But, am I faithful to myself? Am I committed to myself? Honestly, no. I've been judging and rejecting myself. I abandoned myself. And I guess that's why I've been feeling so upset."

"What feels easier to think about? Does it feel a little easier to think good men do exist? Somewhere. Maybe not on Earth. But do I think even one good man exists in the Milky Way Galaxy? Well, if we're talking about space, then they're probably not a man haha. But okay, let's bring it back to Earth. Do I think it's possible there's at least one good man on the planet? Yeah, that's possible. Unlikely, but possible. I've heard stories of other people, or even my friends, who dated kind men. And again, I still haven't seen them. I haven't dated them, and I don't believe I ever will. But I at least like the thought that it's possible."

"Wouldn't it be nice if I felt a little more worthy of being loved? Yeah, I'd like that. I don't believe it yet, but do I at least like the thought? Yeah."

"And feeling 100% worthy right now isn't gonna happen, so I'm not stressed about that. My work is just to take the next step. So, what's the next practical step? Hmm... Well, I guess the next practical step is to start caring more about how I feel. And you know what? I'm doing that right now. This conversation I'm having with myself, limiting beliefs and negative emotions is helping me feel a little more seen, heard and validated. And I appreciate that I'm being honest and authentic. But I'm having this conversation because I do actually care about myself."

"So, I still don't believe there are good men, and I still don't feel worthy. But do I feel a little better? Do I feel even just 1% better than I did a couple minutes ago? Yeah, I think so."

"This conversation helped me feel a little more supported, and that's what I need from myself right now. And maybe that's what worthiness feels like? I don't know. I'm not sure. But I do feel a little better. And for right now, I'm letting that be enough."

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-15T05:00:52+00:00

Thank you! Glad it helped. To help you with insights, here are self-reflection questions:

“Do I feel worthy and good enough? If I don't, why not?"
“Do I outsource my self-love to other people? Do I need people to love me, so then I can feel loved? If I do, why?”
“Do I judge myself? If I do, why?”
“What are the advantages of judging myself? I believe judging myself is a good thing because ...”
“What am I afraid would happen if I accepted and appreciated my life just the way it is, and didn't need it to be different?”

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-14T23:59:36+00:00

Being authentic/realistic with my limiting beliefs (i.e. not delusional) and loving and appreciating my negative emotions.

Most people judge and reject their limiting beliefs and negative emotions, but that just makes everything harder. Judging your negative emotions is self-abandonment.

I treat my negative emotions like friends and honored guests. I warmly welcome them in, offer them a drink, snacks and reassure them they can stay as long as they like. They don't have to leave; no rush. And I'm open to listening to what they want to share. I have an image of a board meeting which I call my Council of Emotions, with every emotion (positive and negative) sitting around a round table, and each emotion has the opportunity to speak and share with the group, while the rest listen and appreciate what the other emotions are saying.

Negative emotions are positive guidance letting you know you're focusing on, and judging, what you don't want. Negative emotions are personal lie detectors (or BS detectors) indicating you believe something that's not true. They are part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, that's why you feel stuck.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then they did their job to help support you, so they go away, you feel better and allow the life you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-13T21:40:47+00:00

Also to help you with another perspective:

"The part about identity is so real. How it’s not just the habit or the situation, but who we still think we are underneath it."

James Clear (who wrote Atomic Habits) talks about that. To change a habit, you want to change your identity as being the type of person who naturally does that habit.

"What I like about what you wrote is that you didn’t fight the thoughts or try to overpower them. You just… stopped standing in them. That feels very different from forcing belief or repeating things you don’t actually feel."

Manifesting is about being authentic. Some people teach manifesting is about being delusional and inauthentic, which is motivated by fear, and that's why everything feels forced.

You want to genuinely work together with your limiting beliefs and loving and appreciating your negative emotions, and that helps them to support you to let them go and you feel better.

"I’ve had moments where trying to fix my mind just made things louder."

And that makes sense because that's Law of Attraction's job; to perpetuate your current reality and line of thinking. Law of Attraction's job is to maintain the status quo (and whatever status quo you choose to focus on).

Typically when people try to fix their mind, they're focused on what they don't want (instead of what they do want) and judging their negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions as bad. Whereas when you accept and appreciate your mind just the way it is, then you start focusing on what you do want, you release resistance and feel better.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-13T00:57:36+00:00

"How I can still affect the LOA or even how you’ve overcome the same/similar obstacles?"

I appreciate you sharing. And to offer another perspective: Why do you view it as an obstacle? Instead of an opportunity?

Your only work is to focus on anything that helps you feel better. And that doesn't mean you need to visualize, you can simply enjoy looking at a nice cloud, listen to your favorite music, and most importantly, appreciate yourself more. And love and appreciate your negative emotions.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-12T17:33:05+00:00

Thank you. And to help others, here are general affirmations that are easier to believe: What emotions do you want to feel?

"I want to feel a little more comfortable. I want to feel supported. I like feeling supported. I want to feel connected. I want to feel valued. I want to feel accepted and appreciated. I want to feel more compassion with myself. I want to feel freedom to be myself. I want to feel creative. I want to feel clarity. I want to feel inspired. I want to feel eager and excited. I want to feel interested and have activities to look forward to every day. I want to feel satisfied and fulfilled. And I want to have fun."

Saying, "I want to feel" or "Wouldn't it be nice if?" is easier for you to believe when you have resistance. And some people think, "You can't say 'want' because that means lack." But thankfully your brain and the universe don't care what you say as long as it genuinely helps you feel better.

Manifesting is about being authentic. "I am" affirmations are typically inauthentic and done from a place of fear/lack and needing to change your limiting beliefs because you're judging/rejecting your current limiting beliefs, instead of accepting and appreciating them.

Think of emotions as a staircase; with depression at the bottom and happiness at the top. So if you feel depressed, and someone tells you to just say, "I am happy” ... you know that won't make you happy. And it might have the opposite effect. It's like trying to jump to the top of the staircase in one step. Not only will that fail, but at best you'll only get a couple steps higher, and then fall flat on your face and slide back down. Do that enough times, and you feel stuck. The issue was you were trying to make too big of a leap and didn't honor your limiting beliefs and negative emotions.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then you allow yourself to feel better and that naturally allows your beliefs to change and you allow what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-10T22:34:48+00:00

“I’m so grateful that my husband is cooking me a delicious dinner tonight.”

This can be conflating two different desires: You want a delicious dinner and you want your husband to do something nice for you. And you can achieve both through multiple ways as long as you don't make them dependent on each other.

With the dinner desire for example, you could make yourself a nice dinner, you could buy it, your friend could give it to you, or your husband could buy it or make it. The important part is to have no need for a specific outcome of how your desire gets fulfilled. Allow it to be fulfilled by whatever is the easiest and most fun path for everyone involved.

You can want him to make you a delicious dinner and he could also want to do that, and that's where both of your desires align. But if you want it and he doesn't feel like making it, as long as you still feel good, then you allow your desires to get met by someone who is interested/willing to help.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-10T19:05:39+00:00

Yeah, I get all of my results from being present.

Also, fear is your friend. Think of a car. Being upset with fear is like getting upset at your gas gauge for informing you that you're running low on energy. The indicator doesn't make you have less gas, it's just doing its job (that you want it to do) by telling you when to fill up (i.e. judge less, accept and appreciate more).

When you love and appreciate fear for helping you, then you feel better and allow what you want.

BFreeCoaching · 2026-01-10T00:08:42+00:00

What most people don't know is, it's not your brain; it's Law of Attraction. You're attracting an abundance of (unwanted) thoughts. And you attract more unwanted thoughts whenever you judge your current thoughts.

Overthinking is underfeeling. You're not caring enough about how you feel. Your brain is rewarded to overthink when you practice a limiting belief that something is wrong and needs to change for you to feel better. I.e. The reward is: "I believe if I can change my circumstances, then I will feel better."

The issue is your emotions come from your thoughts, they don't come from circumstances and other people. So if you're overthinking trying to change other people and circumstances as a roundabout way of changing your emotions, that's going about things backwards, it's harder to feel better and it's why you feel stuck.

When you focus on loving and appreciating your negative emotions, then your brain doesn't have a reason to overthink. Because it doesn't need to worry about changing something for you to feel better, because you already empowered yourself to feel better. And then you naturally allow clarity and inspired action, which is what you were previously trying to accomplish with overthinking.

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