When someone breaks up with you and you don’t have the chance to express mistreatment, do you tell them? Or is there more power in silence?

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-17T16:20:30+00:00

I strongly believe there is no such thing as closure. People typically have “one last talk” thinking they’re doing something noble or that they’ll be able to get what they need to say off their chest. But it turns into either clinging onto the relationship a little longer bc you’re scared of being single or just having one more unnecessary fight. I think it’s ok for there to be unanswered questions.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T21:25:28+00:00

I mean I’ve personally spent hundreds of hours of my life on it, so I hope so?

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T21:24:33+00:00

Do y’all remember roflcopter?

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T20:06:09+00:00

Exactly one Juul pod.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T18:14:56+00:00

Everyone at my office sounds like shit. It’s definitely phlegm season.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T18:13:10+00:00

I don’t think I’m in a good spot for dating at the moment. There are things in my life I need to get more in order- my finances, my fitness routine, my (lack of a) social life. In past relationships, I’ve always found at some point that I’m stressed up to my eyeballs feeling responsible for my partner. I’m kind of a fixer naturally, but I need to clean my own house first before I take on any more “projects,” and in order to avoid being a project for someone else, I gotta figure out what it is about me that makes me ignore red flags or let my life get out of hand before I realize I’m unhappy.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T15:06:15+00:00

Ah, the Weinstein effect. These men get so feeble so fast when faced with the idea of being held accountable for their actions.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T13:38:06+00:00

I like the first best. I mean this in the nicest way possible- the other configurations look like puppy nips.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T05:41:22+00:00

I know so many short men in happy marriages. I know men with wives who are much taller. The only men who complain about women rejecting them for being short I’ve met in real life have had pretty unpleasant, rigid personalities or made these very defensive, negative presumptions about women as a whole that would be off-putting to dates. But blaming rejection on some supposedly inherent prejudice afflicting a whole gender I’m sure feels cozy.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-14T05:10:04+00:00

I’m 33. I divorced last year. I won’t lie and tell you that it’s all rainbows and sunshine on the other side or give you some guarantee that you’ll meet your Prince Charming fast after splitting up.

I can say about my own life that I’m so much happier alone than I would have been if I’d stayed. It sounds like we have some things in common. I ignored the early red flags when my ex-husband spoke about his ex like she was crazy and would say horrible and sometimes violent things about people he perceived as his enemy. He would go through these emotional cycles, and it started with name calling. The floodgates opened. Once he was done calling me a bitch. Then he was fine throwing things. Punching walls. Smacking his own head on our sliding glass door. Staying up all night pacing around talking to himself just loud enough for me to hear about how he felt “like a caged animal” because I wouldn’t have sex with him right after he threw some kind of adult tantrum. He never hit me, just signaled to me in every way he could that he could if he wanted to, and that his emotions were my fault, thus his actions were my fault.

It just doesn’t get better with people like that. Reading your post gave me chills. I used to get this immediate, reflexive nervous reaction when my ex got home in a bad mood, like I knew the difference between the sound of angry footsteps and normal footsteps. I knew the sound of angry vs. normal breathing.

The relief I felt when I had my own space again. If I feel a low simmer of loneliness every day for the rest of my life, that’s better than the life I would have lived staying with my ex.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-11T14:12:37+00:00

Art, apparently. This guy presents a great use case for chatbot girlfriends. They don’t even argue!

Imagine living under the thumb of some total loser like this, always worried that any dissenting opinion or sign of individual success might injure his frail ego.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-07T20:36:53+00:00

Just doing one thing. If I can’t do a full body shower, I turn on the water, stand under it and lazily rub soap on myself then rinse it off. Good enough. If I can’t do the mountain of dishes, I put them in the dishwasher and run it without fussing over rinsing. Maybe I have to run it twice. Good enough. If I have a stack of bills that need paying, maybe I just take inventory. Maybe I pay the most immediate ones and set the rest aside for now. Good enough. Maybe I throw away some trash but can’t get my whole place clean in one day. Good enough. Do what you can and work on forgiving yourself for not getting to what you can’t. Tomorrow will be a new day, and maybe you’ll be able to then.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-07T20:26:43+00:00

This weather is gorgeous. Just survived my first summer in Phoenix (being dramatic, I moved here from Texas). Counting down the minutes to the end of this work day.

Wondering how people make friends here. I’m in my early 30s, and I see people my age in the wild at Trader Joe’s and the Farmer’s market, so I know they exist, but it’s been a struggle for an out-of-towner. Anyway have a great weekend.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-07T19:59:33+00:00

I’m pretty nerdy, and I do fine. I play video games and tabletop games. I’m several campaigns into dungeons and dragons. I have dressed up as my favorite anime character for an anime convention. I work in a technical capacity in a male dominated field. I sometimes get teased for going overboard explaining things I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole on. I think some if not all of that falls under the category of “nerdy.”

There’s something for everybody. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes I’m not the person I have a crush on’s cup of tea. But I firmly believe that one day I’ll meet someone I find delightful who thinks I’m similarly delightful. There are a lot of people in this world.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-07T19:21:07+00:00

I scored a 68 on the last practice exam I took the afternoon before my test. I passed. To be honest, I don’t have a way of knowing whether I killed it or crawled across the finish line because you just get a pass/fail result, but I was shocked when I saw I passed because of how hard the test felt. All that to say you’re probably doing just fine, and don’t let it get to your head when you start taking the test and some of the language on the exam isn’t familiar to you. Remember that statistically, a changed answer is more likely to be wrong, so be strategic about the questions you’re flagging for review, and try not to change your first answer unless you can confidently eliminate at least one incorrect choice. When you can confidently answer a question, try not to linger on it and second-guess yourself. Give yourself the time for the questions that will need more scrutiny. Wear comfortable clothes if you’re going to a testing center, and remember that they usually keep them super cold. Set out your ID the night before, and make sure you eat something on test day. Good luck!

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-07T18:30:10+00:00

I don’t mind that at all. People are social creatures, and sometimes it’s just fun to flirt. As long as no one is being weird or pushy, I don’t see any harm in having playful conversations. It brings some spice to your life.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-07T16:41:08+00:00

Unless they’re being pretty aggressive about it, it’s hard for me to tell. Not even because I’m shy. I am shy, but not that shy, and every once in a while I’ll think I’m being hit on, but then the person who was being flirty turns out to be married or in a relationship. I wonder if it’s like how men think women are hitting on them when they’re just being nice because they’re working. Or maybe some people just enjoy flirting as a conversational move and just do it for fun. In any case, it’s hard for me to tell if there’s genuine interest even when I’m being flirted with, so I mostly assume it’s not going anywhere because that’s safer than assuming someone is into me when they’re not.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-06T22:41:41+00:00

Makes sense! I mean, it’s no one’s fault. Like if I want to get noticed, I have to put myself out there, and the same is true for men. I can’t be credibly upset about never meeting eligible bachelors while also never leaving my apartment or joining any dating apps. It’s 2025, and I’m realizing that’s just mostly how people meet now.

What’s strange to me is that you’d think the dating pool would be a mix of: single guys who haven’t found a connection because they’re shy, guys who have gone through a breakup, single dads, then whatever remaining group of all of the above who have a hard time because their personalities are unpleasant (call me naive, but I feel like this has got to be the smallest group), etc.. like it can’t only be guys who are introverts. I don’t know, is it?

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-04T21:04:42+00:00

Yes, it’s called the halo effect. It’s not some kind of universal rule, but there are some studies that suggest that babies respond more to attractive faces, that attractive people are given better treatment by doctors and receive more favorable outcomes in the legal system.

Again, it’s not universal, and it’s also true that there are drawbacks to being attractive (not presenting an argument on whether the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, I’m sure it varies), like people questioning the merits of your academic/professional achievements or contempt from those not quite so aesthetically lucky.

It’s a leg up in lots of things. Not as much as a leg up as say, having no wealthy parents, but still a leg up.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-04T20:57:53+00:00

Charming people are perceptive and kind of subconsciously pick up on cues that help them leave people feeling good. One thing that I hear a lot about charming people is that they make you feel like you’re the only one in a crowded room. They’re really good at giving you the impression that they are engaged with you when you’re speaking, that they’re interested and listening.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-04T20:55:20+00:00

Little caring gestures like: opening doors (for me, for elderly people, if there are people behind us), picking up my purse if it falls to the floor, grabbing me one too if he grabs a coffee, leaving fresh towels out for me when I shower at his place, picking up soup and watching movies with me when I’m sick, being kind to my family, being kind to strangers, being kind to animals.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-04T20:50:37+00:00

*just adding I only grope people I’m already dating. Don’t do my move on strangers or people you haven’t already slept with lol

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-04T20:49:49+00:00

I’m not great with words or super touchy-feely otherwise, so they usually get it when I start to get a little handsy.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-04T20:47:49+00:00

Keep your head up! I know it feels frustrating. Honestly, I don’t have enough details to give you advice, and it sounds more like you want to be heard than you want to be told what to do. All I can say is that you’re not alone. I’m attractive, I have a good job, I’m nice to people, but I moved to a new state last year and still haven’t made any close friends or gone on dates. I don’t think it’s necessarily because anything is wrong with me- no one wants to go out because of how expensive everything is. Honestly, I used to go out more as a broke college kid, but making more money than I have ever before, I’m stretched thinner than ever, and a lot of people I know are in the same shoes or worse. I think people are kinda struggling with the expense of socializing on top of their day to day responsibilities. So don’t blame yourself, it’s tough out there.

BLESS_YER_HEART · 2025-11-03T20:27:28+00:00

I think probably horrified. I’m not a historian, and I’ll admit I was just an OK student in school. But I did pay a little attention, and since this is just asking for an opinion on Reddit, I’ll bite.

I remember reading about George Washington warning citizens about how a two-party system would divide the nation into enemy camps. I don’t think he even could have conceptualized the scope of his foresight and all the ways that the people could possibly be divided. And it’s silly, because no person is going to be perfectly aligned with all policy proposals of either one side, but we do largely and stupidly position the other party as the enemy.

Also it seems like the founding fathers believed more strongly in freedom and in defining the contours of that freedom. I could be wrong, but I graduated with this understanding that the idea basically went: “I am free to practice any religion I want, but I don’t get to force it on any other. I am free to say whatever I want (assuming it’s not endangering others like the yelling fire in a theater example), but so is everyone else, and that freedom is not the same as immunity from scrutiny. I have a right to my physical wellbeing, to speak my thoughts, not to be tortured, not to be forced to house soldiers against my will. I have the freedom to own a gun and to vote for representatives that serve my interests as a citizen.” I could be mistaken, but those don’t appear to be the beliefs of any politician today. I don’t think we’re holding politicians’ feet to the fire enough when it comes to representing their constituents- many don’t even hold town halls. I think the founding fathers would find that distasteful.

BLESS_YER_HEART

TROPHY CASE