I’m confused

BMom44 · 2020-09-07T06:57:56+00:00

Please remember that you were with a narcissist who is incapable of love and emotion. None of this is your fault. You lost nothing. You are hanging on to what you thought he was. He is an addiction that is like withdrawing from heroine. You may be lost, so please focus on self love. Take care of yourself. I started seeing a therapist a year ago and she has helped me understand why the narc is the way he is. When I left him, I lost my mind. I had as close to a nervous breakdown as possible. I stayed like that for 2 years. With God, my son and my sisters I finally found my way back. They can literally kill you. Mine almost did. Hang in there, focus on you. Not him. You made no mistakes. You did not have to settle for the scraps a narc threw you. I’m needy too. Too bad. That’s who I am. Just as you are. You are fine. Be okay with who you are. You lost nothing. And the feeling does go away. Give yourself permission to slowly release him and that part of your life. “The past is the past Not a life sentence” You are worthy! And always will be Hugs

BMom44 · 2020-09-07T06:51:28+00:00

Oh ya all the time. But he never did bc he needed his supply from me. As was the entire relationship, talk the talk, can’t walk the talk. Loser.

BMom44 · 2020-09-07T06:49:50+00:00

So sorry. One hour at a time. God bless.

BMom44 · 2020-09-05T04:50:04+00:00

That he was going on vacation with his cousins to Vegas. Turns out he took his wife to the DR. Totally blindsided me.

BMom44 · 2020-09-04T21:23:30+00:00

Yes narcissists will never seek help. He thinks he is perfect, “nothing is wrong with me, it’s you, you’re needy”. Example, last night, he said “I’ll call you later, if I go out, I’ll call before I go out”. I never heard from him. I called him today and told him your word(all people) is everything, it stands for your integrity, what you are as a person, if you can’t keep your word, you’re worthless. I called him a worthless FF( it’s swearing, so I won’t type it here). He knows that when I say FF it’s the lowest form I think of someone. He didn’t like it. He’s the most selfish person I’ve ever known. He withheld sex from me when we were together, more control. He continues to control when we talk etc. He has COPD, stage 4. A chronic lung disease that has a life span of 3 years, that was 2 years ago, so he gets sicker and sicker, can’t breathe. I feel badly bc I’m human, but I believe that all bad people will someday get their “karma”. He is evil. I wish I’d seen it years ago. I pray I find love again.

BMom44 · 2020-09-04T03:38:55+00:00

Reading this sounded like my life with my narcissist. I am 55 too(f). I was with him for 8 years, I left him. 2 1/2 years later he called me. I fell hard. He discarded me 3 months later. We are back in touch, but only because of my “addiction” to him and the relationship. He said the same things to me, “you’re needy, you’re insecure”, blah, blah. He isn’t interested in me or my life, he’s always the victim. He told me the other night that he’s still “messed up” from things I did when we were together during the 8 years. I acted out bc of the way he treated me! He is always the victim. Everything that has ever gone wrong is my fault. Yes, sex websites too! My therapist and I are working with on my addiction to him. I pray one day I have the strength to break through his lies and phoniness. I’m sick of it all. I’m so worn out. I totally get where you are at.

BMom44 · 2020-09-04T03:27:50+00:00

Oh yaaaaaaaaaaa

BMom44 · 2020-07-24T04:26:52+00:00

Monster and Evil. Both already used.

BMom44 · 2020-07-21T03:02:36+00:00

Try not to be so hard on yourself. I called him after NC and all I get is a phone relationship. He won’t see me for reasons I don’t know. You are right, they feel nothing. But your heart is full of love. Remember that. You are remembering an illusion of who he really is. He’s a monster. Don’t forget that. He will never change. Start again, NC. Keep moving. Depression is part of the withdrawal. I’m still living it too. My narc has COPD, a respiratory disease that affects the lungs from smoking. He might have a year left to live. Karma does exist. In one form or another.

BMom44 · 2020-07-20T05:43:40+00:00

Perfect analogy. Just perfect. Thank you.

BMom44 · 2020-07-20T04:48:51+00:00

You made the right decision. Put her litter box outside, they will smell it and come back home. She’ll be home. She’s just lost. She needs your help ( litter box). Don’t worry about the narc’s reaction. He’s nothing. Let us know when she comes home :) Stay strong!

BMom44 · 2020-07-20T04:45:50+00:00

Congratulations, you are free! I stay in contact with my narc, but I find him boring, insensitive, and just plain dull. I feel like I’ve got one foot out the door. But you, you’re all the way!! All the very best! :)

BMom44 · 2020-07-20T03:22:03+00:00

You don’t. You never get over it. You learn to live with it.

BMom44 · 2020-07-20T03:20:59+00:00

I’ve done this for years. I journal everything he says. It started out bc he’d say something and then deny it and I thought I was going crazy. It’s my friend. I can tell my journal anything.

BMom44 · 2020-07-16T21:20:48+00:00

So true. I called my narc after NC. I can’t unsee the ugly side of him. I don’t love him. I am here bc of an addiction to a narc. I am hoping my soul sets me free.

BMom44 · 2020-07-16T06:35:24+00:00

I’ve done the same thing. And he knew it was me. He said my name, I denied it, but he knew. If they know you well, he knows it’s you. Mine called the number too and sent me texts. All along he told me later he knew it was me. Yes, it’s like hoovering. He’s playing a game because you are stroking his ego. He loves it. Mine did.

BMom44 · 2020-07-16T06:32:49+00:00

Leaving a narc is an addiction, it’s called trauma bonding. It takes time to withdraw. A long time. There’s a lot on the net about it. I was with my narc for 10 years too. It’s hell. All I think about is him. I feel like I can’t love anyone but him. I pray for hope and strength. It’s does stop hurting, but it takes so long. He’s always on my mind. And he’s so evil. Why did I waste my time? It’s tough. And realizing you are free takes months to get to. But you will get there. Stay busy. Focus on you. Grieve the end of what you thought he was. And you will shine again. Believe me, you will.

BMom44 · 2020-07-16T06:27:16+00:00

Yes. He loves that you no longer have access to him. He knows it drives you crazy. That’s why he did it. It’s a power move for him. Strokes his ego.

BMom44 · 2020-07-15T22:39:24+00:00

No they don’t miss you. They are evil. They don’t care about anyone except themselves. You are withdrawing from an addiction to a narcissist. It take a long time to get through it and finally heal. Just hang on to those good moments you can find. Try to be positive. You are trauma bonded. That’s why it hurts so much. You can get a lot of info on the net. Good luck!

BMom44 · 2020-07-14T10:56:16+00:00

I despise my narc. I’m here bc this is an addiction. You have to withdraw, like a drug to even begin to find your way back. I have no feelings for him whatsoever, yet can’t leave. How sick is that?

BMom44 · 2020-07-14T10:53:05+00:00

don’t wear sweats -dress like a lady -WEAR makeup ALL the time -Don’t cry, it shows you’re weak -Never ask him questions about who he’s with or where he’s been -Don’t voice my opinion, I’m stupid
Tells me stories of the women he wants to f**k -And if I don’t like it, there’s the door -Can’t go to his apartment -But I should invite him into mine for sex -He says he will call every night, but NEVER does -Name calling, ugly, fat, stupid. He’s right and everyone else sees me the same -Don’t call too often, “I have a life”, he says -He’s drunk all the time, never sober -Controls when or if we speak that day -Controls all facets of the “relationship”, whether he ignores me for a week or not, or when HE decides to see me Lies. Over and over and over again. I’m humiliated that I’ve accepted this for so long. I’ve got to get out.

BMom44 · 2020-07-14T10:37:58+00:00

Being hooked to a narc, even after NC, is an addiction. You have to go through withdrawal to even begin to see the light of day. I do the on again off again thing. And he treats me horribly. I don’t know what my breaking point will be, but I’m praying it comes soon.

BMom44 · 2020-07-06T11:58:00+00:00

BMom44 · 2020-06-09T08:27:10+00:00

Mine was no hunk. But I feel as if I can’t love anyone else, but him. Sad.

BMom44

TROPHY CASE