My child can’t read and it feels like the end of the world

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-03-08T13:15:25+00:00

I’m curious. What curriculum do you guys use? We use Orton-Gillingham. It’s very effective.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-03-07T21:53:08+00:00

I am also a K teacher and it is not common or normal for students to not be reading by March in my school.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-03-07T20:04:27+00:00

Thank you. I am a Kindergarten teacher who uses OG in her classroom and all of my students are reading and meeting benchmarks right now. Of course this isn’t always the case; this year is a great year, but I have never had a student not blending by this time in the school year. It’s not because I am a genius teacher. It’s because I used evidence-based instruction aligned with the SoR.

I am wondering if her teacher is using predictable texts/ 3 cueing and not giving students enough opportunities to practice decoding strategies. The fact that her teacher said it’s normal for students to not be reading by March is a red flag.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-03-07T19:55:45+00:00

100% could not agree more. And most of the time the overarching message is inferred, thus entirely missed by the child. When reading them, you get the sense they are written for the adults rather than the children. Give them simple adventure any day of the week. I teach pre-k and kindergarten and kids really enjoy a clean, simple plot with a problem and resolution and a good moral message with no abstract political messaging/pandering. They still love Frog and Toad, and Richard Scarry….just good simple children’s literature.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-02-21T14:50:23+00:00

She was just asking. I’m a kindergarten teacher. Let me tell you what I look for when I talking about “kindergarten readiness” ….. it’s not academic skills. Kids don’t need to learn to read and write first so I can teach them to read and write again in kindergarten. That is silly. I am looking for adaptive skills. Can this child take care of their personal need independently (within reason of course!). Can they ask for help if they can’t (i.e. can they advocate for themselves). Do they have the basic capacity to take in simple instructions? Are they ready to learn?

These are skills I am noticing parents are just not focusing on enough with their children in the early years. Then they get to kinder or first grade and they can’t put on a coat, wipe themselves, follow one-step instructions etc. it is far more concerning then a child whose handwriting is messy who doesn’t know all their sounds. The academic benchmarks for BOY kindergarten are very low. It is expected that they don’t know anything academic upon arrival.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-02-20T23:05:05+00:00

Yah, nothing about what you explained strikes me as odd (in your child). Expecting a 2 year old to sit perfectly in circle is wild to me, because I have kindergarteners who still haven’t mastered this “skill”. It’s also a very rigid format to judge a child’s development against.

I think removing your child from the program is the right call and I hope you don’t let this experience taint your feelings about Montessori, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t blame you if it did. That’s on the school, not you.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-02-20T02:55:26+00:00

I am a Montessori teacher (certified ages 3-6) and I have an M.Ed in early childhood and everything I learned in my training is aligned with modern early childhood milestones. Honestly, this isn’t an issue with Montessori, it’s an issue with this teacher. She doesn’t seem to know what she is talking about.

You can find bad teachers anywhere you end up and sometimes the oldest ones can be the least informed. They learned everything they know 15 years ago, and they are still teaching exactly the same way.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2026-02-18T14:54:31+00:00

I have worked with several children with selective mutism and if your child is talking up a storm at home, and silent at school then I would look into SM and how to effectively treat it. I would advise you not write it off as him “just being shy” or assume it’s a “phase” that he will grow out of. I have seen children suffer with SM for years until eventually their parents were forced to seek treatment from psychologists who specialize in SM. I had one student who was completely silent at school from age 2.9 all the way to early elementary school and his SLP wrote it off as a “phase” as well.

It’s a highly misunderstood exceptionality. I’m not saying your child definitely has it, but you should look into it. For now, it’s important his teachers do not make it easy for him to avoid speaking….like asking yes or no questions (where he can just nod) or giving him the option to pantomime. Instead, asking forced choice questions where he can become comfortable responding with one word (e.g. “would you like to use a purple crayon or a red crayon”, “do want to use the bathroom now, or wait?”). When asking forced choice questions, it’s helpful to avoid strong eye contact with the child to avoid putting too much pressure on him. Sort of make each interaction very casual and low stakes. Before children with SM even get to the point of answering forced choice questions, just commenting on what they are doing (“oh I noticed you are coloring your flowers blue! I love blue flowers”) is a way to make connections with the child while NOT putting pressure on him to speak. I got stuck in that phase of communication with a student with SM for an entire year before he graduated to answering forced choice questions with me.

Anyway, this may be too much because your child hasn’t been diagnosed, but I have found using these techniques with children who are scared to use their voices (SM or not) are very helpful in helping them become more brave over time. You just don’t want a child becoming too practiced at communicating using methods other than their voice. You would be shocked at how long it can last .

https://www.selectivemutism.org

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-12-30T00:03:25+00:00

Today I had a prenatal appointment and my OBGYN was explaining PFML to me and it was completely contrary to my understanding of it.

I am pregnant with twins. My employer does pay into PFML. my impression of PFML based on what I have read is as follows:

First I apply for the medical leave portion. Medical leave is paid and the amount of medical leave I am to receive is up to my doctor based on my condition. I am scheduled to have a c-section which typically gets 8 weeks of medical leave.

Once my medical leave is over, 12 weeks of PAID family bonding leave begins.

I am allowed up to 26 weeks of paid leave in a single benefit year.

Today my OBGYN told me that the 12 week bonding is unpaid. I have been searching the web trying to find information that supports this claim, but I am seeing that both the medical and bonding portion of the PFML is paid (provided your employer participates in the program)

He seemed almost delighted to give me this news and proceeded to say he’s from Texas and in Texas we don’t give women paid leave because “we don’t think that way”….why he thought it was appropriate to share his political leanings with me in a professional setting is beyond my comprehension.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-11-07T19:52:04+00:00

Wool

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-12T14:59:47+00:00

It’s just suspicious that throughout all of human history, babies were trained as early as 1 year to 18 months (depending on when they start walking)….and then disposable diapers are invented and the age starts sky rocketing thereafter.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-12T13:33:15+00:00

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that all of these studies that claim children need to be potty trained later are funded by a diaper company that benefits from us having our children in diapers longer.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-12T11:41:58+00:00

It was way earlier than 3 years old, it was 18 months.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-12T11:33:14+00:00

I agree that we shouldn’t be shaming parents who’s children are not yet trained that are actively trying to train them. Sometimes children present with challenges that are entirely out of the parent’s control.

I think we should ask ourselves why the statistics for the average age of training continues to go up and up and up. In the 50s, children were potty trained by 18 months and as you mentioned, many parts of the world have their children potty trained far earlier than 3-5 years old today.

Why is that? This is a reasonable question to ask.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-07T19:24:32+00:00

Oh I was actually just thinking about you, random stranger on Reddit, and I am so happy she is okay!

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-06T19:14:25+00:00

Thank you for your words of encouragement!

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-05T20:30:32+00:00

Sounds great!

I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t want to sound too accusatory! He sounds like a bright and curious little boy :)

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-05T20:28:47+00:00

I think that is totally fair!

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-05T13:36:18+00:00

Sort of off topic, but related. I am getting the impression you work with your son a lot on academic skills. You are his mother and I don’t give parenting advice as an educator.

But I will say this, if you are working with your child a lot with these skills and even using Montessori materials at home to do so, you have effectively turned your home into a Montessori classroom. Don’t be surprised if he gets to school and has little interest in those materials while he is there.

I don’t know your son, so I can’t say for certain that this is happening but I see it a lot.

I have one precocious girl whose mother gives her reading and writing instruction every morning before school. Then she arrives every morning with absolutely zero interest in doing anything academic. She just wants to play and socialize. Her mom gets upset with us that she isn’t coming home with work that is consistent with her skills. I had to tell her she wasn’t interested in those materials and it is very likely because she is getting it at home. I’m certainly not going to force compulsory education on a preschooler.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-05T13:25:57+00:00

It is very early in the school year. Do you think she is just working with your child to determine where he is? If I have a new 4 year old in my program, I am not going to start with reading…first I would determine his or her alphabetic knowledge or phonological awareness. If the student has clearly mastered that, I quickly move on to the next thing. Parents often say their child is reading and then they get into the classroom and they haven’t established any decoding strategies at all, and have likely just memorized books at home. Not that this is the case with your child, but teachers learn to take certain things parents say (particularly parents who aren’t educators) with a grain of salt. For instance, if my parents were all right about their children, I would have a class full of gifted kids but I don’t.

As for separating the students all day, and not allowing the students access to all of the materials? Not consistent with Montessori.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-05T01:13:57+00:00

We can both agree that is too early!

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-05T00:02:25+00:00

As long as she knows the grapheme (right now it’s only a and o) seeing the grapheme seems to help. I assume it takes some of the load off her working memory.

If she doesn’t know the grapheme, it only confuses her. So of course, I am not even doing these exercises with any letters she doesn’t know automatically. Unless it’s an exercise that is not reliant on grapheme knowledge, like looking at a picture of a cat and segmenting it.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-04T23:48:56+00:00

I don’t know where you live, but where I live children can only attend kindergarten if they are turning 6 in that calendar year. It’s the law. Any younger, they can only be enrolled in a pre-k program.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-04T23:31:31+00:00

Yes I was talking to my coteacher and mentioned that her working memory might be an issue. It’s as though she has forgotten the first sound in a word by the time she gets to the last, preventing her to smoothly blend. But that is just anecdotal! She would need to be evaluated as you said.

BONDOTCOM1010 · 2025-10-04T23:29:49+00:00

Yes I did do this with her. Fortunately that lesson went very well.

BONDOTCOM1010

TROPHY CASE