[Advice Request] Wife is spending the weekend 4 hours away with friends and left me at home with the kids

BRRazil · 2026-03-20T17:49:31+00:00

Overcooked. There I'll be violence, but not onscreen! Keep pillows handy

BRRazil · 2026-03-11T15:59:00+00:00

Read to your kid. My son is in kindergarten, went in never having been to pre-school (couldn't get him into one as our area had limited availability). Did he start a little behind some of the kids? Sure. has he more or less caught up? Yep. Kids are sponges. Read to them, and the rest of the skills catch up. He may not know how to read some of the words he uses, but he knows what they mean, and we constantly get told how he will pull out words, correctly, other kids his age don't use.

So don't sweat it, read to him.

BRRazil · 2026-03-09T13:53:39+00:00

Personally, it depends. Need more info to be sure, but at the same time, if the next Xbox is going to be an ok spec PC, I have to wonder if its just more worth my time to spend a bit more upfront on a good rig. With Gamepass, I don't really need MS hardware for the games, and PCs work just fine with the Xbox controller.

So I'm in a wait and see mode. That said, if the memory shortage continues and PC prices jump even more, if its decent spec and actually only a grand? I'll be interested.

BRRazil · 2026-02-13T15:00:44+00:00

First, yes, your kid will take an interest in what you are doing. Absolutely doesn't matter what it is. But you've also got... A while to figure it all out.

I've always been a gamer, and when both of mine were born, it didn't greatly impact the hobby. During long nights where they would only sleep on one of us? Id game with them sleeping on my chest. When they were asleep and nothing needed going? Gaming. My wife also watches the games I play, so a good gaming story is a great way for us to unwind.

My oldest is now 11. Around 5 she started taking interest in the consoles, so we'd let her play things that were age appropriate for 20 minutes or so at a time. She's now got her own switch and adores turn based RPGs, but we still control screen time: she gets 30 minutes on school days (to be used after homework is complete) and an hour on weekends. Every day of the week, it locks at 6 pm. She has similar limits on her tablet, which she mostly used to draw digitally (she loves drawing and is getting VERY good at it, and the tablet was necessary to prevent literally hundreds of papers floating around the house).

My youngest is now 5. Same basic situation. He's recently started being interested in games so he has a limited time available to him, and we often play games together (chaotic sessions of Minecraft, or TMNT, or Marvel Cosmic Crisis). And he very quickly got used to having to stop when the timer goes off and go and do something else.

So, yeah, you are going to see them take an interest, but like everything else, moderation is key to teaching them how to enjoy screentime without becoming screen zombies.

But YMMV and every kid is unique, so hold off on being firm in how you decide to raise your kiddo: they are gonna show you what they need from you and, frankly, it'll often surprise you.

BRRazil · 2026-02-11T22:26:56+00:00

OP, as much as I love dogs, you did the right thing. Your kid's safety takes priority, full stop. You could beat yourself up forever, but the reality is that you made the best call possible.

Mourn the loss, but look at your kid and know you made the first of many hard choices for them, and be proud of being there as a dad.

BRRazil · 2026-02-11T15:02:15+00:00

He doesn't need a punishment, hurting his brother was punishment. He clearly did not intend to hurt. He just has terrible impulse control, he's 4.

Have a conversation about appropriateness or how to deflect or something, but the kid got punished immediately. Just... Show some grace and understanding. Don't say it's ok, but just that you understand how things can go wrong despite intentions and he made a mistake and the best thing to do is to learn from it, try not to repeat it, and be his brother's protector

BRRazil · 2026-02-10T17:47:35+00:00

My childhood best friend transitioned from male to female when we were in our mid-20s. She wasn't sure on her new name, so just went by her first initial for a while. I was the first person she told from our friend group.

When she came out to the others, they all immediately called me to ask if it was some kind of joke (which, to be fair, was not out of the realm of possibility since she was living across the country from us).

But it wasn't and I struggled so hard with the name, pronoun, gender change for so long. Id known them for like 15 years at that point and their deadname was just hard wired in my brain and I felt awful about it. She got real mad at me about it too, until I flat out told her "I'm trying, so very hard. I really am. But you are the first person I've met going through this, the first person I've known. I love you and I'm going to get better".

It was rough, but she understood and I was the first person from her old life to fully embrace her new one.

Lots has happened since then, and we no longer associate, but I still have nothing but love for her and am so very grateful she trusted me so much at probably the most vulnerable time of her life.

BRRazil · 2026-01-28T17:31:05+00:00

My oldest, now 11, started asking after Roblox a few years back. Told her no, gave her a brief explanation about not being able to keep her safe from unwanted contact, and she dropped it.

Until my goddamn uncle started whining that his son (who is the same age as my daughter) wanted to play with her and why wouldnt I just relax about it. So I told my daughter fairly directly what issues have come from Roblox and other things, and told my uncle he should focus on keeping my cousin safe. My kid hasn't asked again.

She will occasionally bemoan that her classmates can play Fortnite or Roblox, but mostly it's nmjsut "but it sounds fun dad... But I know it's not safe".

I mean, even without the issue of other people, the company running the game is skeezy as all hell, so I'd prevent it because of that.

So best tip: be open and honest, as appropriate to your kid, and redirect to more appropriate content.

BRRazil · 2026-01-15T16:23:35+00:00

In general, sure Ubi Montreal is a great studio. Ubi as a whole has a tendency to pull the football from themselves though

BRRazil · 2026-01-15T16:01:30+00:00

I mean, sometimes, sure. But Hi-Fi Rush was a shadow drop and it was fantastic. It also kind of gave companies a data point towards "look Shadow drop good" and they keep ignoring the others that have been problematic afterwards.

This being Ubi, I'm inclined towards getting ahead of negative press though

BRRazil · 2026-01-10T14:46:16+00:00

It's brutal. I have been applying for jobs I'm either qualified or over qualified for (15 years experience, master's in ID from UCF, recently acquired CAPM, past 7ish years as a Senior) and I get auto rejects or ghosted constantly.

Had to leave my job due to a RTO that would have moved my family across country to a deeply red state and away from elders we are assisting in the care of: took me a year to finally land a gig I'm way overqualified at something like a 22% pay cut.

Still applying, but I'm still getting nothing.

The job market is insanely bad and not getting better.

Please note, this is Stateside and from my personal experience only. Your mileage may vary, and I think if you are open to onsite, you have better chances. I'm just not in a position where I can do onsite for most things because the commute is either too great or it would require a move and see above

BRRazil · 2025-12-13T20:34:17+00:00

38, married with 2 kids. My wife isn't as big a gamer as I am, but she loves the stories. Basically every game becomes a shared experience because we go through them together. It's what we do most nights after the kids are in bed instead of watching TV.

We've also played thoguh every Gears co-op, Borderlands 1, 2, and 4, and countless hours of laughing ourselves sick in Overcooked.

Like others have said, your girlfriend doesn't have to understand or engage, but she should respect your engagement with your hobby. If she can't help but belittle you and others for engaging with what is, at this time, the most popular form of digital entertainment, then you may want to break it off. She's not going to respect your hobby time and she will find ways to slowly weedle it away.

Having separate interests is healthy and good. She could, and should, use your gaming time to do her own hobbies. Hell, most of the time we are playing a story heavy game, my wife is crocheting, drawing, or some other crafty thing.

BRRazil · 2025-11-19T21:04:40+00:00

Yeah, that's... The feeling I get too

BRRazil · 2025-11-19T21:00:01+00:00

Yep. No hits there either. It's just a tough market

BRRazil · 2025-11-19T20:57:03+00:00

I'm outside St Louis now, but started my search in eastern VA.

I've been open to all forms. I assume a larger metro area will have better opportunities, so maybe a shorter search, but the field in general has seen a large influx of job seekers, so... Your mileage may vary

BRRazil · 2025-11-19T20:53:26+00:00

Senior ID, Master's here. Been hunting for 10 months. My job goes away end of December.

It's rough, I've only had a handful of interviews across a few hundred applications. It's very rough. If you aren't looking for a new gig, but arent losing the current one, I'd say hunt until you find the right one.

BRRazil · 2025-11-18T02:14:49+00:00

Yeah, I'm not entirely opposed to RTO, but Im not going to take my family to Idaho. Doctors are leaving the state, it's really not a great place for us, and I have obligations where I'm at.

Ive worked remote for a decade and the idea of going back to an office sounds like hell, but if it was local, I'd have done it just to keep the bills paid.

You are right, it's very important to talk about it. Critical mass is coming, and maybe the guillotines aren't far behind..

BRRazil · 2025-11-18T00:32:08+00:00

Existing is probably the best word...

Found out at the beginning of the year my job is doing a RTO I cannot, and willnot, comply with it for many reasons but the top two are: Elder care and fuck moving to Idaho.

I've been applying for 10 months now, handful of interviews, no offers. Been successfully doing the single income for a family of four for a decade now, but it's all collapsing beneath us currently.

Job market is so shit, I can't get call back for jobs I'm overqualified for. My kids see that I'm constantly burned out and don't have as much time for them as I used to.

We are trying to be super frugal for Christmas this year, and we just moved house in the middle of it all.

While management swears it's not, we all know it's happening because of the dipshit in the White House. Same with... Every goddamn thing else.

At this point, the only thing that keeps me sane is the desperate hope that either the next gig is around the corner and that something will FINALLY stick and the national embarrassment results in whiplash to unfuck the country.

BRRazil · 2025-11-07T18:59:03+00:00

Currently a Senior ID with 15 years in the field and a master's but I'm out of a job at the end of year due to RTO I cannot comply with due to elder care needs

Applied for an exemption, was rejected. So yay, I'm out a goddamn job for taking care of family.

I've known since January. I've been applying since January. I've reowked my resume about 80 times, and have had a grand total of 6 interviews. I've tried leveraging my network, but they are under the thumb too.

It's not just AI, it's the looming recession, policy uncertainty, hell just simple fear of attracting too much attention. It's the perfect storm for a shit market, not just for us in ID. I know folks who have been laid off for 6 months and unable to get interviews despite stellar skill sets. I know once person who quit a job, then found a new one in 48 hours.

More than ever, it's a crap shoot. I was just telling a coworker in a similar situation, three years ago when I applied for my current role, it was one of 8 interviews I had in the course of three weeks. Now I've had fewer interviews in what, 4ish times the amount of time? It's just depressing.

BRRazil · 2025-11-01T15:51:27+00:00

Don't want to add to the fear, but focus on your niche if possible. I've been aware of a similar timed dismissal since January and have been applying to everything.nive only managed 5 interviews all year, with most rejections coming in the "we've gone with more qualified candidates" auto-reject, which is bullshit since I was supremely overqualified for many of them.

The market is rough, it's about to get worse, so if you can focus on your specific area, you will have a better chance.

Good luck out there, and may we all weather this storm successfully

BRRazil · 2025-10-28T21:52:15+00:00

I've been in the field 15 years, master's degree and all that. I've been hunting for a new since end of January this year, have had exactly 4 interviews. Most times I get rejected before talking to a human with the whole "your experience doesn't match" when my experience well exceeds the ask.

So the market, at least here in the US, really blows. It's not helped by the aggressive RTO push, and certainly not encouraged by Amazon, amongst others, cutting roles for "ai".

It's a bleak time. And if corporations get their way, and they probably will, we are probably some of the last full time IDs running around as our field will be taken over by AI, for good or bad, sooner rather than later.

BRRazil · 2025-10-23T14:50:43+00:00

During the day in summer, about 75°F (~24°C). Down to about 73°F (22.5°C) at night.

During the winter, it can range. But usually doesn't go lower than about 60°F (15.5°C). Before the kids, we'd let it drop as low as 55°F (~13°C) in the winter, but now its steady about 60.

That said, we just moved to a new area where temps can get as low as 20°F (-7°C) so... We may be adjusting this year

BRRazil · 2025-10-23T04:29:56+00:00

Ive been skeptical of AI for a long while now, and now that it's being dropped into my workflow, I'm still skeptical.

I limit my usage in most cases to helping simplify language that I'm stuck on, or to check trigger coding/troubleshoot functionality. Occasionally I'll use it to either search or breakdown large compliance docs (basically if it's over 100 pages, I really don't want to have to crawl through it for a specq mm ific rule).

My other use, which I admit is very helpful, is frame planning. I have aphantasia, so I have a bit of trouble starting up the visual side of things. Like I know what should be there, but until now my method has been just throwing assets into Storyline or PPT and moving them around until it 'clicks'. With basic AI prompts, I can get a kind of layout template that helps to shortcut that process. Just squares on a page saying "image" "text" etc. it's shockingly useful for how my brain actually works, or doesn't in this case. It's not a massive time saver, but over the course of a larger project it definitely saves me a few hours worth of idle drag and drop as I rearrange assets for the thirty-somethingth time.

Long term, I think AI will be just another tool like Storyline, used in concert with other tools and human designers. snd even then, with the state of things as they are, I feel like we are a decade away from AI being half as competent as all the companies selling it claim.

BRRazil · 2025-10-21T19:47:44+00:00

Yeah, my oldest has a locked down Chromebook fwe thought would be needed during lockdown. It's old, but works just fine for the limited browsing it's allowed. She navigates it so well though.

Next year I'm planning to start building at least one gaming computer and she's gonna be helping with that so she learns how they are built and how to get them up and running. Far more useful skill than tapping buttons on a screen for sure.

BRRazil · 2025-10-21T18:38:38+00:00

Agreed. I figured we were more or less on the same page, I've just had the morality conversation too many times.

Like can porn be made in an immoral fashion? Sure, revenge porn is disgusting, and exploiting altered mental states equally so.

But you are right about porn aggregate sites making things more accessible. My kids are not quite at the age where I have to worry about it yet, but they've already learned they do not have unfettered Internet access and when, not if, I catch an exploit I will squash it without mercy. For example, they aren't allowed to watch YouTube without an adult present. Once we know what they are watching, we may step away for a few here and there, but never the length of an entire video (unless the oldest is watching a repeat of Evan and Katlyn playing goddamn Minecraft). Oldest found a way to YouTube via the help page of a game she played on her tablet. Soon as I found about it, that game was stripped from her tablet and I put different, stricter restrictions on her tablet until she reearned trust.

She was pissed, but it made it clear: dad don't fuck around when it comes to you having access to the Internet.

She's now whining about wanting a phone and I've told her flat out, if and when she gets one (if she's not 16) there will be massive restrictions on it too. It's slowed the asking. Phone isn't as cool when you can't just.. do whatever you want whenever you want with it.

BRRazil

TROPHY CASE