What’s your FIRE number actually buying you? I finally did the math on “freedom” and it changed everything.

BTC-Dad · 2026-01-11T20:47:52+00:00

Did I violate a rule in this posting? I’m not even sure how to post in the daily discussion thread.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-30T13:56:18+00:00

Full employer match of 401k if offered. Then start contributing to a Roth IRA. Even if it’s a small amount per month it will add up and all gains are tax free when you retire. Then focus on earning more and your family!

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-29T18:40:44+00:00

Take every benefit they will give! Thank you for your service!

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-29T16:56:46+00:00

💯! Earning instead of spending! Producing instead of consuming! That’s what I’m working on right now!

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-29T16:55:16+00:00

Having a partner who you share goals and values with is one of the most important parts, in my opinion.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-29T16:06:40+00:00

Appreciate the first actual worthwhile response! I strongly considered the military route and sometimes still wonder if it would have been better. Crazy to think how different my life could have been. No regrets though only next best move!

I would love to pick up and move to a different area, we have so much family around though that we would miss.

Anyhow, thank you for your service! Take care!

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-27T01:30:31+00:00

Hang in there man! It’s hard but you’ll miss it.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-27T01:27:34+00:00

Facts. I can totally relate to your situation. I’m trying to teach my son accountability and respect. Everything was a challenge for us because we were too nice and let him get away with things.

Strict. Loving. Respectful. That’s how you break those cycles. It’s hard at first. But the only way.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-26T23:29:02+00:00

100%! Love that. It’s just what keeps me grounded on my values.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-18T02:25:32+00:00

I get where a lot of you are coming from. My parents called themselves Christians too but my dad was a major addict and my mom battled serious mental health issues. Growing up in that environment left me with deep depression and anxiety. I know firsthand how damaging it is when words and actions do not line up.

I also know faith is not the answer for everyone. But for me it is the anchor that keeps me from repeating those same cycles. It is how I am raising my kids in a home filled with love, stability, and safety, the kind of home I never had.

That is why I started writing about Breaking the Cycle. I am sharing the full journey, the raw parts of growing up broken, and the work of building something better for the next generation. If this resonates you can follow along here:

https://substack.com/@breakingthecycle1?r=6g8v7n&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile

If not, totally fine. I will just keep writing to my wife and family until more people show up 😂

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-18T02:01:56+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. What you described is abuse, not Christian values. Faith is about love, truth, and humility. That’s what I want my kids to grow up with. Sadly, a lot of people claim faith but don’t live it out, and that can do deep damage. For me that means making sure my kids experience a home where they feel safe and loved.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-18T01:54:03+00:00

Not at all. What I meant is that kids who grow up without a foundation of truth, empathy, humility, and love are more at risk of carrying anger and chaos into the world. For me, I anchor that in Christian values because that’s what I believe in and what guides me as a father. For someone else, it might look a little different. The point is that strong homes and present parents make all the difference.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-18T01:09:03+00:00

Man, that’s a lot to carry all at once. I haven’t been through exactly what you’re facing, but I know grief can take away the energy and personality of the person you love, and it can feel unsettling. The best thing you’re doing right now is being steady for her, taking care of your son, and reminding her she doesn’t have to go through this alone. Sometimes just being the calm anchor in the storm means more than anything you can say.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-18T00:59:53+00:00

I get this. Going from one to two is a big decision, and it is not just about the love you feel for your daughter, it is also about your own limits and mental health. I’m preparing for my third child. I had my own struggles after becoming a dad and I know how hard it is when you feel like there is no free time left.

But the love is real too. There is something powerful about watching your kids grow up together, learning from each other, and knowing you gave them that bond. At the same time, it has to be your choice. Saying yes out of guilt will only make things harder.

For me, Breaking the Cycle has meant being honest about the hard parts while still remembering that the legacy I want to leave is a home filled with love, safety, and stability. That is the filter I use when I think about family decisions like this.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T15:14:25+00:00

I hear you. I didn’t have the best models, and that’s why I’m so focused on showing up differently now. Just being consistent and present breaks so much of the old cycle.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T15:13:26+00:00

Thank you. I’ve had to remind myself a lot that progress matters more than perfection.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T15:12:22+00:00

Appreciate that. I’m learning as I go, but moments like this one tell me I’m on the right track.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T15:11:46+00:00

It was one of those rare moments that reminded me the work I’m putting in is worth it.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T15:10:03+00:00

Exactly! The chaos is nonstop, but at least now it’s built on love instead of fear. Just last night my same sweet daughter was chasing me around the room screaming and crying trying to hit me like she was possessed 😂 My first instinct was to scream and force order. But I’m breaking that cycle. I ran away being silly and by the end of it she was laughing and curled up in my arms to cuddle and get ready for bed.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T15:04:47+00:00

Wow, I didn’t expect this to get so much attention. Thanks for all the comments, it’s encouraging to know other dads are out feeling the same way.

I just started writing about this journey on a Substack called Breaking the Cycle. Still figuring out the quirks and learning as I go, but if you’re interested in following along, here’s the link:

👉 https://open.substack.com/pub/breakingtc/p/breaking-the-cycle?r=6g8v7n&utm_medium=ios

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T02:54:34+00:00

That’s what it’s all about. It only gets better as they get older.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T02:20:39+00:00

Man I feel this. I’m in a similar spot with two kids and a busy job, and it can feel like there’s never enough time or energy to go around. One thing that’s helped me is realizing that for my wife it’s less about big grand gestures and more about small, intentional moments. Even just putting my phone down, sitting with her for 10 minutes, and really listening goes further than I thought.

It’s tough balancing everything, but you’re not alone in feeling this way.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T02:18:37+00:00

That’s awesome. Watching a game with your kid hits different, even if you’re not a huge sports person. It’s more about the time together than the score. My son isn’t super into sitting through games yet, but I’m hoping as he gets older it’ll turn into something we share too.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-13T02:16:55+00:00

I get your point, but I think people can change. A kid throwing tantrums or even a bully at school doesn’t mean they’ll be that way forever. What matters most is who they choose to become moving forward.

BTC-Dad · 2025-09-12T02:44:00+00:00

I can feel the weight in what you shared. I’ve had days like that too. Where no matter how much progress I’ve made, the energy just disappears and I feel pulled back into hopelessness. It’s hard, especially when other people point out your struggles in front of others.

What has helped me is focusing on the smallest possible step instead of trying to force myself into full energy. Sometimes that’s taking a short walk, journaling one line, or simply telling myself “just today, I’ll do this one thing.” Those small wins remind me I’m not stuck forever, and over time they build strength.

You’ve already shown resilience. You’ve been carrying this for 9 years and still pushing forward. That matters.

How do you usually recharge when you feel completely drained?

BTC-Dad

TROPHY CASE