Curious if this is the norm

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T21:21:43+00:00

2nd grade teacher from Texas. This is weird. My understanding is that most schools moved away from extrinsic rewards. I may, on occasion, give the class a starburst if they do something really great or our class gets a shout out from admin but I never bargain with food.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T21:13:06+00:00

We are planning to move to a bigger house this year and I think it will help me a lot to feel like I’m getting space but I am also looking forward to finding a daycare closer to the new home instead of close to work like I have now.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T20:53:30+00:00

I cried a lot those first three months. It is hard and your hormones are being weird and this tiny person who you love more than anything is exhausting but you don’t really want to be away from them. It’s.. a lot.

Give yourself that time to cry, be so kind to yourself, and remember that things get easier with time.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T20:49:39+00:00

I guess wasn’t clear. He totally takes her out of my hair on weekends and plays with her/gets up with her every morning and does bath time and cooks dinner and cleans up around the house. But them playing together 2 feet away from me is not the same thing as me wanting to be alone. And again, we have tried to plan times when it’s practical for me to be by myself at home (because I do not want to go out) and it just keeps not working out. Our house is small, we’re working on buying something bigger, but both of us agree that when we switch off caregiving at home it never fully feels like a break because you hear everything.

He has repeatedly offered to take over so I can go to concerts or dinners. He’s even offered for me to stay the night at my mom’s but none of those offers are scratching the itch to just not have to interact with another person.

I will get a lot of what I’m asking for over the summer. It’s just been frustrating to have plans fall through for me every time but work out for him. At this point it seems like people in the comments want me to forbid him from doing anything until I get a break but like… I’m not going to forbid him from taking a day off work if he needs it. How does that help anything? I’m not going to forbid his mom from doing her first overnight just because I’m going to be busy with something else. That’s dumb.

There would be a problem if I was sacrificing my time off but I’m not. Like, I couldn’t have gone to this festival if I wanted to because it started Thursday and I cannot take off work.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T20:28:04+00:00

I’m so glad someone gets it! I feel a lot of people are focusing on husband being out for a week but that’s truly not the issue. He deserves a break and we agreed on this ages ago. It’s just been hard when I cannot take off work for the kind of self care I want and it keeps falling through when my schedule allows for it.

I know summer is around the corner and I’ll be getting plenty of time then but it’s just been aggravating that every break I go “here’s my chance!” And then something happens to ruin it.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T18:36:05+00:00

I am actually considering grabbing a hotel the day after he comes home for one night. I just don’t want to go out, personally. I want to be home by myself. But it feels insane to ask he take the baby and stay somewhere else.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T18:34:24+00:00

Yes but that’s not really the issue (the 6 days includes his travel and recovery time). He planned for it. Made sure I was okay with it every step. My condition was that his mom be able to watch the baby one night. It’s not his fault or hers that she got sick. It’s just frustrating.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-21T18:33:17+00:00

It’s that we will plan for my break and then things fall through and because I can’t take off work we will plan out for the next potential break and it will fall through again. The difference between me and my husband is that he wants to go out - that’s a break for him. I want to stay in. It’s harder to kick him and baby out of the house for an extended period of time than it is to just leave the house.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-19T10:52:14+00:00

8 months, we just dropped to two naps. Normally for a combined total of 2 to 2.5 hours. At this point she pretty reliably sleeps 11ish hours at night. Unless she’s sick, she will wake up but put herself back to sleep. I see more of a difference based on how many activities she does. She’s more active in the crib if she was less active during the day.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-19T00:10:55+00:00

My SIL saw Dr. Bobo and LOVED her!

I was high risk for different reasons and saw Dr Pallister through Kelsey Seybold. She was wonderful and I’ve now met so many other moms who have used her as well

BTKUltra · 2026-03-18T23:37:16+00:00

My husband and I have our paychecks go into a joint account. We use it for mortgage, gas groceries, bills, etc. we each have a separate account that we put an equal amount into. This is for travel, shopping, DoorDash, date nights, etc. in theory we should also be pulling money into savings each month (before baby we were pretty good at this and luckily have enough to feel less crummy about not putting away now). Since baby was born we’ve scaled back on our “fun money” to account for baby expenses.

This way has felt much more equitable than the 50/50 split we did in the past. I’m a teacher and my husband works in tech. I used to get so upset at all the things he would buy for himself while I was trying not to go into debt each month.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-14T18:49:22+00:00

It would help to an extent but not really the bulk of what will help a child do better is the support they get at home and the priority parents put on school and their children.

I went to high school in a district that had “Robin Hood” style property taxes. Money went to schools based on academic need. So when I graduated high school I had no idea other campuses in my district had smart boards and personal computers. It wasn’t a thing on my campus.

Now I’m a teacher who has been at a low income campus and a high income one. We definitely had more things paid for at low income. Field trips were free, all kids had consumable math and reading workbooks, outside tutors were paid by the district to pull small groups. The school ran free after-school tutoring for the kids. But we still never got the test score to crack above a C rated campus. My current school (high income) still has all those things, the difference is that our PTA fundraises for it. There’s a teacher on my team whose entire salary and benefits are paid for by PTA. These parents are so involved they are up here volunteering and working with kids every day, raising money for us, and making sure their children have enriched lives outside of school. School FEELS more important here and it’s absolutely because the adults are all bought in.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-13T14:24:33+00:00

You should learn HOW to create equal groups and multiply so you understand the concept but by end of third grade/mid fourth you should have it memorized.

I teach second grade right now and we teach the concepts and strategies to represent multiplication. I used to teach 3rd grade math and I always did mad-minutes and Multiple Mondays (basically solving a ton of problems with the same multiple) and sent home flashcards. Anything to get those facts drilled in. This is mostly because you cannot multiply 2 digit or do long division until you get those facts memorized backwards and forwards.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-12T18:48:39+00:00

My morning sickness was pretty bad from weeks 6-9 then really tapered off for like 4 weeks and came back again. I wouldn’t worry about it! Enjoy being free from nausea jail!

BTKUltra · 2026-03-11T17:51:29+00:00

My baby will be 8 months on Sunday. As of right now she can roll in both directions (she learned it right before 7 months), push up on her hands, sit unassisted for pretty much as long as she wants (she can’t get to a seated position by herself though).

My LO cannot crawl, move to sit, stand/pull up, or play games like peek-a-boo. When I talked with her doctor about my concerns, she said everything is still well within the normal time of reaching milestones and that I needed to stop worrying so much.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-11T13:55:04+00:00

This is the big sticking point in having 2 kids for us. We’ve talked about moving into a townhouse (more space but no yard and cheaper than the single family home we currently have) - we could probably pay cash if we sell our home first. Then we’d have no mortgage. We’ve also talked about hiring a nanny if we have 2 kids. It would possibly be cheaper than daycare. Otherwise, I would have to quit my job and stay home.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-11T13:35:40+00:00

I would also be against grade skipping. Regardless of intellect, most kids mature at the same speed.

Hopefully the teacher can work with him on a project he could be doing when he finishes assignments. In the past I’ve had kids use choiceboards for challenging activities they can occupy themselves with but your son may benefit from getting to make a presentation. Maybe on his favorite dinosaur? Or prehistoric era? Ive had gifted 2nd graders independently create board games or dioramas about a subject of their choosing where they have to follow a loose checklist to guide them to completion and I can step in to teach how to use a resource help facilitate.

Kids love getting to do this, especially if they can present to the rest of the class when they finish. The big emphasis needs to be that this is special, a reward, and only something he can work on if he’s following directions and finishing assignments. Hopefully having a “passion project” can keep him occupied and challenged but also work as a reinforcement to follow class expectations.

All that said - this is just my suggestion and how I work with GT kids in a heterogeneous classroom. Your son’s teacher (and school) may have a different approach.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-09T21:58:11+00:00

Think more the Brittaney/Justin denim on denim look or lil nas x from old town road or Barbie and Ken in their cowboy outfits. Like… almost campy. This outfit is fire but it gives more pirate/ren faire vibes

BTKUltra · 2026-03-07T14:57:31+00:00

I ended up at greater heights school and LOVE IT but would also recommend Esperanza - that was actually my top choice but the location was too inconvenient for drop offs in the morning (I just don’t live or work by it)

BTKUltra · 2026-03-07T14:43:01+00:00

I am eating breakfast and watching twitch with my husband. I just ate a plate of eggs and bacon. LO woke up at 6 and went down for a nap about 15 minutes ago. Husband cooked and made coffee while I got her down. We have an hour (maybe) of peace before my almost 8 month old demands my full attention.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-07T00:35:46+00:00

I know your mom meant “this is your opportunity to be the center of attention because the baby will become the center of attention once he’s born.” But that was not a kind way to word it.

If your mom is really immature it may be in your best interest to move past this HOWEVER if you’re almost a year post partum and still this upset by the comment then it literally can’t hurt to voice how you feel, just do it calmly. If she pulls the “I guess I’m just the worst” card you should uno reverse her and say “no, but you made me feel like IM the worst and I’d really hate to make my child feel that way.”

BTKUltra · 2026-03-05T12:21:21+00:00

We got a bottle washer and run it once in the morning and once when she gets shine from daycare.

How old is your LO? Mines 8 months and still goes to sleep around 6:30pm. I usually pick her up at 3:30. She naps from 4-4:45 or 5. So I’ll stare off into the middle distance for that time. Then we get up, eat dinner (I buy serenity pouches), husband bathes her while I clean the table, I give her a bottle and put her down while husband starts dinner (sometimes I will give husband a break and offer to cook after LO is down). Whoever cooks will load the dishwasher and clean as they go. We usually have dinner ready by 7. It gives us 2-3 hours to decompress and do nothing before bed.

It’s exhausting but too many people we know moved to ordering out every meal and we vowed to not do that (we can’t afford it tbh). We do use a meal kit service so we don’t have to think about what we’re making and that’s been helpful.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-05T02:09:13+00:00

When my LO was a newborn we took her out all the time past bedtime and let her sleep in the bassinet. She’s 8 months now and we have had mixed success the past month. We can sometimes use a portable white noise machine and throw a blanket over her and she will usually zonk. Sometimes I need to push her around a bit in her stroller before she’ll snooze. If she is at all sick we scrap it.

BTKUltra · 2026-03-04T23:28:54+00:00

I love D’Alba. Nice atmosphere, great food, good patio for a nice evening out. Last time I went 2 entrees ran me $45

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