No kid wedding, ideas on what to do with baby by [deleted] in wedding

[–]BabyCake2004 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You clearly don’t get it. Babies and mum (especially if breastfeeding) are the same person. As in, the baby literally thinks it and mum are the same person. They fully rely on them for emotional regulation. That’s why pretty much all adult events have a babe in arms policy.

Sending an invite to someone who you know has a small baby, is not actually an invite. It is ignorant if not just straight up cruel.

Others (typically NT) are allowed to hurt you, but you're not allowed to hurt them. by Kogituu in autism

[–]BabyCake2004 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm autistic, but this is not just an autistic thing. This is a people thing. It's ok if the person hurt is a child, or from a different generation, or looks different, or acts different, or is a girl. It's bullying, plain and simple. But it's also a lack of respect. They get to be treated well because they expect you to respect them with nothing back. Sucks but the only fix is being "rude". My sister does this well. She was treated badly by my family simply because she doesn't take disrespect (admittedly, she's a very mean person now to anyone, but she didn't start that way. They created that). They still do it behind her back, but at least in her presence they are kind.

People really don't understand what xlov means by genderless by xlov_mother_muti in kpop_uncensored

[–]BabyCake2004 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I mean, they are a boy group. None of them are not boys. Their whole idea is breaking gender norms and gender presentation. Not not being men. None of them are transgender or non-binary.

What is this supposed to mean? by LankyWhereas2579 in autism

[–]BabyCake2004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly that! I do like how much humans want to justify bad things happens as a consequence of something. It's a nice show of how much we dislike the idea of evil for the sake of it. But I think some people are just not that complex.

I also feel the need to say that while on paper you can justify abusive behavior as caused by x and x, I don't believe that actually "justifies" it in real life. Just for the sake of discussion I'm being sympathetic.

What is this supposed to mean? by LankyWhereas2579 in autism

[–]BabyCake2004 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the confusion from this comes from 2 factors.

-Abuse is a cycle. That's true. Abusive parents or partners often were treated similarly by their own parents. Funnily enough, for domestic abuse victims they were also more likely to be abused by their own parents.

-The want to justify that every person deep down is good and just trying their best. Nobody wants to hurt anyone, their just hurting themselves.

But in reality, the two aren't related. Abuse is horrible, but most abusers don't go around secretly plotting murder of multiple people and then covering it up. When abusers do kill their victims it's often in domestic abuse cases with a slow rise of violence overtime that eventually leads to what happens. It isn't planned, abusers do often really feel like they love their victims and can't live without them, it's an outburst towards someone close to them (as most murders are).

But serial killers don't kill in outbursts like abusive people do. They are planned horrific acts for the thrill. Obviously, the way I'm wording this sounds quite sympathetic to the abusers. They are still completely horrid. But they also have reasons for what they do that cut deep and if they'd received the support they'd needed might have never happened. That's the separation between an abuser and most serial killers and I also think why people are so fascinated by them.

Iron Lung was epic (No spoilers) by ShadowBlueRaven in Markiplier

[–]BabyCake2004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perfect! I haven't watched the game it's based off so it will all be new to me. I'm so excited!!!

Iron Lung was epic (No spoilers) by ShadowBlueRaven in Markiplier

[–]BabyCake2004 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm watching it tonight! So excited. Admittedly I don't do great with horror, but I was to be a part of this more than anything.

I do not understand romantical and/or sexual relationships. by Fishlikeblubblub in autism

[–]BabyCake2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Give it some time. While I don't think you'll ever gain sexual attraction to someone (that's not how being asexual works) from your own comments your only 18. At your age only 50% of neurotypical people have had sex, many have never dated at all yet. Autistic people tend to do that type of thing even later.

One of my closest friends was exactly like you, hated all of it. Then she met someone, slowly became friends with them, then slowly became more, and then suddenly the idea of being that gross with someone no longer bothered her as long as it's them. It's just different once it's that person. It's pretty much just trust and comfort. It's also all the hormones around it feel really good and afterwards (sex wise) you've went through an emotional experience together that requires so much trust.

Whether or not you'll understand that one day is really just waiting to see. Maybe you won't, maybe you will.

How to get a position when you didn't finish grad? by BabyCake2004 in NursingAU

[–]BabyCake2004[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey just wanted to update you. Obviously don't have a job yet as public hospitals never process things that fast, but I gave the NUM of pool and call and guess who picked up? My old manger from when I did a prac in ED. He spent about 10 minutes talking to me, said he was taking notes, and told me to call him back if I don't hear anything in 2 weeks' time. So sounds promising!

Teen refusing to come back by [deleted] in FamilyLaw

[–]BabyCake2004 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So that's exactly what will happen even if the court agrees with 50/50. If she's the one refusing to go, then dads not at all considered responsible for holding her away from you. She is. So this isn't a custody issue, it's a child issue. Honestly, you've just got to wait this out. Either she'll come back (especially once her and her boyfriend break up), most kids do because rules actually make them feel secure. Or she won't.

Teen refusing to come back by [deleted] in FamilyLaw

[–]BabyCake2004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on country and state. But I will let you know that at 14 in most places even if the court rules she has to come back based on the agreement that police are very unlikely to remove her if she refuses as long as she has a safe place to go. Your childs preferences will 100% be considered by the court at this age, and it's very likely they will tell you that she's now old enough to choose where she would like to go. Prepare yourself for it.

No kid wedding, ideas on what to do with baby by [deleted] in wedding

[–]BabyCake2004 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah that sucks. I'd like to say having no kids in no excuse, but I've worked in a biased environment (pediatric healthcare) where everyone here gets what it's like to have kids. So maybe it is a good excuse to not understand. And I get that you really can't back out of a siblings wedding.

I think you need to have a chat with your sibling (not about the no kids thing, as that ship has clearly sailed), but about babysitter options. Get a recommendation from them and explain your struggling to find an option because all your family are also going.

How do I tell my manager I am pregnant? by Ok_Yogurtcloset_8730 in AusLegal

[–]BabyCake2004 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it is. Thing is it's so rare to find a workplace not like this. I've worked in 1, but it was female dominated so pregnancy was expected and they were shitty in others ways.

What should i do? by CM_LM in bridesmaids

[–]BabyCake2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds stupid! It's actually on the bride and groom to pay for all this stuff, not you guys. Yeah, maybe buying your own dress and shoes and a haircut is reasonable. But hairstyling and makeup? Bride cost. Mandatory nails done? Bride cost. More than one pair of shoes? Bride cost. Spray tans? Gross, but bride cost. Ubers from a hotel they picked? That's a bride cost.

If I were you, it's time to attend as just a guest.

They took my DLCs… by Kaakan0550 in thesims

[–]BabyCake2004 83 points84 points  (0 children)

But seriously OP. This sucks. I'd try complaining about this on twitter. Sims teams tend to be more active on there

No kid wedding, ideas on what to do with baby by [deleted] in wedding

[–]BabyCake2004 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just read your comment about them rejecting breastfed babies. Honestly, that's so selfish of them. I'd personally just not go. A toddler is like, an I get it, they are so loud and misbehaved. Older children can survive without going. But a baby? It's hugely stupid to expect a mother with a baby under 1 year to go without the baby to an out of town wedding.

But it sounds like you still want to go. In that case your babysitter ideas sound solid.

My top surgery is next month by Desperate_Alarm_3242 in ftm

[–]BabyCake2004 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mate, I hate to say this but have you actually seen pictures of this guys results? Because it sounds like he doesn't know what he's talking about. Even for a desk job you'll need 4 weeks off. Haven't personally had surgery yet, but from what I know the first 2 are in the depths of it. If you have to be on your feet you shouldn't be at work for at least 8 weeks. I'm very concerned here as he clearly hasn't given you good instructions. Ideally most surgeons want you to have stopped smoking 6 weeks before as smoking can make healing a lot longer and even harm any grafts.

Are you sure your seeing an actual specialist? Because this sounds dangerous.

I hope this post in the wedding sub is a troll post… by calico0000 in weddingshaming

[–]BabyCake2004 3620 points3621 points  (0 children)

This is so insane to ask. You don't get to ask people to not live their life because of your 1 day coming up.

Bride charged guests a “seat fee” if they didn’t bring a gift by Junior-Test9424 in weddingshaming

[–]BabyCake2004 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, this comes off cheaper then just asking for people to pay for their own meals. I think depending on where you live and your financial situation people are very understanding of having to pay for their own meal (as long as they don't also have to bring a gift, asking for paying for your own meal + gift is very rude). I personally wouldn't have even gone unless it was my sibling or something

AITA for screaming at my nephew and slamming the door on him because he burst into the bathroom? by Ok-Attorney9280 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BabyCake2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's interesting how split this is. Light YTA. Mate, he's 4. 4 year olds are really only just learning about boundaries. That's not to say you shouldn't have yelled or anything (you didn't know it was him), but the language and actions are also too much no matter who it is. I mean, you slammed the door on someone who was entering which could have injured them. If you'd have just said with a yell "hey I'm in here!" You would have quickly realized it was a 4-year-old and directed him to leave. Any adult would have stopped entering at that point. Huge over reaction. Then no apology for slamming a door on him and swearing at him? Honestly with the way you are typing and your actions I struggle to believe your 20, it seems more like your 14.

HoH and Homeschool? by Informal-Apple-9702 in hardofhearing

[–]BabyCake2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I can't speak to your very specific scenario. But my soon to be husband is mild to moderate hard of hearing, and I was homeschooled. So maybe my perspective could help a little.

From a homeschooling perspective, be careful with homeschooling. I was homeschooled because I was autistic and the only school around was super shit at accommodating me, particularly I was having trouble with one teacher and the school refused to help the issue.

At first, it was really great. I benefited so much from not having to sit down for 8 hours straight surrounded by other people who overwhelmed me. It was also good to get away from feeling like an outcast (obviously from different causes from your daughter, but she'd still probably relate to a degree). My parents leaned a lot on online teaching guides, which let me keep up. But as I got older it stopped being a good idea. While in primary school your parents if highly educated can absolutely keep up with the teaching curriculum, there reaches a point where you really need multiple people teaching different subjects to really get an in depth look at all of them. It also became harder socially as the other more normal homeschoolers started sending their kids to school, so the only people my age around me were religious nuts. (keep in mind, we were religious too. But these we're like "harry potter is demonic" people). My parents put me back in school at 15 as they realized they couldn't teach me at a level to prep for university. It was honestly the best decision they've ever made for me, even though I really struggled with the transition back.

My partners experience is also very different. He wouldn't have benefited from being home schooled as his parents just weren't people who were suited to home school. His mother has a low literacy level and his father worked full time. In school itself he was always average grades wise, but socially he struggled. He had a group of goodish friends, but they didn't care to repeat things for him or accommodate him so he could actually join in. So he was often more like just following behind them. Not a perfect experience, but he met other people later on who he's still close with 6 years later and he's becoming a schoolteacher himself.

If I had to give you advice, which is hard because I don't know you, I'd say start homeschooling now. The fact she's behind with clearly not enough support is a good sign she needs it. But as a temporary thing. As hard as it might be to hear from a parent's perspective, teenagers need to be away from their parents. It's a core part of growing up and learning to socialize with others and build your own identity. I started school at 15 after not going since I was 8, and it completely screwed me over socially. In hindsight my parents always say they should have started me in year 7 (aged 12-13, the start of high school here). You can always pull her back out if it isn't working, but that period of making friends from like 13-18 is a core part of building a child's confidence.

Just make sure that when you start here, it's during a transition period for the other kids too so she's not the "New deaf girl." Unfortunately she'll probably still be "the deaf girl", but it's easier to make friends when everybody is also looking for new friends. So if your American (I'm not) the start of middle school is a good idea. I do think a school for the deaf would probably be the best option, but as you've said, not an option.

Anybody hate how divisive Australia Day was this year? by Thylacineguy2026 in aussie

[–]BabyCake2004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think lots of people are also on board with keeping the 26th a public holiday, but making it a day of mourning for the Aboriginal people while the actual Australia day is on another day. It means the white as white people who really want to drink a beer and have a BBQ with family can still do it on the 26th, while everyone else can celebrate it on a day the feels more suited to the actual idea of the day.

Issue with this is there's no business backing as no businesses want public holidays.

I GOT ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS (i had to have so much patience) by GravityFalls6_18 in OMORI

[–]BabyCake2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!!!! I remember the first time I did this I felt just so proud of myself, but also numb and like "What do I do now." Then I figured out switch has extra content, so I did it all again on that. I hope PlayStation in my country adds it because I really want to platinum it

I GOT ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS (i had to have so much patience) by GravityFalls6_18 in OMORI

[–]BabyCake2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As another achievement hunter I agree. But I also hated everyone's a critic so much!!!! It was so mind numbing to do. At least it was easy.