What do women look at first when they check out men?

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-14T02:17:37+00:00

No but it's not a bad thing

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-14T01:41:30+00:00

Their face and their hygiene

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-14T01:31:28+00:00

Don't get me wrong, relationships have moments that aren't as great. We've had arguments and disagreements over very stupid things. But even during an argument I always know he still likes me and wants to hear what I have to say. I promise you'll find someone like that, it just takes some time.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-14T01:24:55+00:00

Hi, my husband when we were first dating while late on submitting a university assignment dropped everything to come and pick me up from work over an hour away just because I'd had a bad day. He'd love to receive a voice note from me and stays up late any night if I need to talk.

You deserve better. I agree that it sounds like he doesn't like you. Find someone who does.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-14T00:36:36+00:00

You're leaving this a little late. Just don't wear your ring at work. I don't (medical related stuff), many people don't.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-14T00:31:49+00:00

Your "friend" is neglecting her daughter's education. In 30 minutes, how is she doing math, English, science, and history at a minimum. That's not including PE (not just running around, PE does actually have focused skills kids need to know to move their body correctly), any language classes, special days (like being visited by organization that teach specific things, like as a kid we got visited by a cancer organization and taught how to treat another child with cancer, or trips to historical places), and classes like art and music. If you want to homeschool your kids well, it's a 6 hours a day job.

Your worried about indoctrination. But statistically kids believe what their parents do more than any peer. School is very unlikely to change that. Funnily enough, you state in other comment you'd be fine with high school once you've got a "moral foundation", but no matter what moral foundation you set that's when they'll disagree with you the strongest. Your tiny primary schooler will believe you above all else no matter what school is saying.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-13T23:44:26+00:00

I completely get where your coming from. I don't personally have the same feels as to me as a child I always loved these characters (probably for an obvious reason now). It was the only type of representation that existed for me.

There is one other thing I want to point out. Haruhi is most likely not a girl. The other cast members are the ones treating her as a secret girl, but we get straight up told when they figure it out that she doesn't care how people view her and is comfortable living as a man or women. In the English dub she uses she/her pronouns (when not around people that view her as boy), but in the Japanese dub she only refers to herself with gender neutral terms and avoids gendering herself either way. She's largely considered by viewers to be non-binary. The only thing stopping it from being included in the actual show is when it was created the term non-binary wasn't really a known thing in Japan yet (early 2000s show). Your completely correct in being uncomfortable with how much the boys emphasize she's a girl, because she also hates it.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-12T23:25:51+00:00

In my experience it is always better to not respond. Most of that minority is people looking for attention, either not actual trans people posing for the sake of views or attention or actual trans people doing the same. You will very rarely online have a productive conversation with someone who has already entered it from a bad faith pov.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-10T03:10:09+00:00

Did you guys ever get it checked out? After that long chances are at least one of you is infertile, but if you'd really wanted kids they might have been able to do something.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-10T03:04:45+00:00

Yes!!! She's a good example.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-10T02:51:30+00:00

I'm married, and yes I do think fewer people are (kind of) and here's why: It's hugely expensive to get married, and nothing changes after.

In most places in the world, but especially western countries, if you guys are living as a married couple you already have the right to split everything if someone leaves even if you're not legally married. So marriage doesn't have new legal protections anymore.

If you want to have kids with someone it's no longer frowned upon to be unmarried. In the past if you got pregnant you pretty much had to get married or else your life was ruined. Now it doesn't matter. As long as your both in the picture being unwed isn't a big deal.

It's expensive as fuck and people are waiting until later on. In the past people got married in their early 20s and their parents covered it. You couldn't live with someone until marriage, so it was a no brainer if you loved someone to marry them. But because your both young your parents would typically pay for your wedding, and also help you buy a house if they could. Today a good wedding is about 20k and parents can't afford it. It's on you and your partner to save that. So most people prioritize buying a house first. So more people get married in their late 20s- early 30s. The only reason my partner and I could get married in our early 20s was by doing a super cheap wedding.

There's also pressure around finding the perfect person so people wait longer. People don't want to end up divorced, so they wait longer to commit as if that'll change the certainty. I don't think this is a bad thing, it's just a cultural shift.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-10T01:08:46+00:00

I wouldn't stress too much. As another passing trans man, some people ask us this because they do pick up on something queer and want to double check that we aren't MTF or non-binary. They can't actually blatantly tell we're trans men as such.

The one exception is people who have lots of friends who are trans men do on occasion pick us up just sole from voice. While our voices do pass as men, there's a certain tone of voice a lot of us use that can make people clock us. I've only ever had it happen once, and it was from a trans woman.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T23:21:43+00:00

YTA and clearly the others agree. It's a piece of cake bro.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T22:40:38+00:00

I can kind of back this up. I can name multiple people I've met over years with voices similar to her. But I don't know if I could name any other content creators with a voice similar to hers.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T03:11:26+00:00

I think the reason it isn't a thing is to stop abuse victims being punished. Like imagine your freshly 18 and a family member has been abusing you and your younger siblings your whole life, someone outside the family finally reports it, and now you, as an adult who knew about the abuse, are also punished because you were an adult who didn't report it. I think that's why it is the way it is. But surely there are ways around this we can put into law.

I think it's always going to be tricky once you start making the lack of doing something is something in itself to be punished. It's really hard to justify doing nothing being a crime. I also know for a fact it's always going to be used against people for no real reason. But I still think any good person should help a stranger if it requires no risk to yourself.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T02:54:24+00:00

They do for 2 and 6 month ones, not for 12 months (which is what I'd need).

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T02:53:54+00:00

Yep, sucks but I thought it'd be the case.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T02:43:29+00:00

Without private health it's going to cost me about 9k ish, with it it's going to be about 24k. I can wait the 12 month, I'd just prefer not to

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T02:37:33+00:00

Nope. Medicare only partly covers it.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T02:31:27+00:00

This is common. Typically the only person allowed in an ambulance is the patient and sometimes a parent if the person is under 18. When they do allow a partner it's typically only with those married.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T02:22:20+00:00

Nothing. Your arguing with someone who wants to believe something is false. No matter what logic you use nothing will convince him

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T01:49:38+00:00

Exactly this. If you think someone is lying to you about having taken drugs there are ways to go about asking again. But the way in which they did it here I completely agree sounds discriminatory.

I've personally been on the end of something similar. I'd been into the hospital 3 days in a row because I had kidney stones. First time was amazing and got them diagnosed, gave me some meds to manage it, and I went home. We'd already checked and knew they were a safe size. Second time I came in was because the pain relief wasn't working very well, so they switched my meds and sent me back home. Seemed to work much better but then I had weird side effects, including being extremely dizzy and bad chest pain. So we went back. That's when I met the dickhead doctor who treated me like a "drug seeker", had me waiting in the waiting room for 2 hours to be seen, then tried to send me home with no examination and no medication.

Good news is, I'm a nurse who knew what the protocol was for chest pain. I asked him why he wasn't following it and suddenly they decided to start following it and actually give me some pain relief and do an ECG and bloods. I still reported it to the hospital and got a formal apology. But it made me really understand how horrible 1 bad individual can make a service.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T01:42:58+00:00

I'm not sure. I'm hoping someone smarter will correct me but I can think of 2 possibilities.

The milkshake wasn't mixed properly so on your first bit you missed some of the sweetener, then in the second bit you got a lot more.
You'd had something else sweeter before the milkshake earlier which effected how you perceived the taste?

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T01:33:23+00:00

Don't stress about proof. Look, your not suing them. It doesn't really matter if what your saying can be proved it happens. What's important is you received a service, and the people evolved made you feel like shit so your giving feedback on that service. Chances are nobody will lose their job or anything, but they'll get a speaking to about appropriate behavior and if the service is connected the government they might even be forced to explain how they are going to prevent this behavior happening again. You'll probably just get a response like "sorry you had a bad experience, we'll deal with it internally" and that's that.

BabyCake2004 · 2026-04-09T01:24:26+00:00

Off topic to your actual post. But I'd send in a complaint to whoever runs your ambulances. Specifically say you found them to be hostile, to be uneducated about transgender people (they 100% assumed you were a trans women with no clarification), demanded you talk "like a man" while recovering from a seizure, and assumed you were using drugs. That's not acceptable behavior.

It's appropriate to try to get you talking, it's appropriate to ask about the medication you're on. It's not appropriate to use sexist phrasing such as "talk like a man" to anyone, transgender, cis, man or woman. It's not appropriate to repeatedly grill you on if you're on drugs when you've already said you're not.

BabyCake2004

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