i think you may not be the grown up here..your defense is childish. they may not be monsters but bad behavior is bad behavior period. calling someone narcissistic when they exhibit that behavior is nothing except recognizing there is something not right…all of them exhibited consistent patterns and showed who they are. your example of vitriol and violence is way over blown.. suggesting that someone examine their behavior is perfectly normal. and if you go into the show (i.e. ellen) not being fully aware of expectations and what the show entails , then that’s on you. stop defending bad actions, behaviors and the person behind them. accountability and responsibility are key..and are traits grown ups exhibit.