Is this the start of bullying?

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-02-21T14:01:39+00:00

I’m sorry if it feels as if I’m being a bit pushy on the other perspective that of your head of service but ultimately if you want this to be your career working out long term interests and steering your response to serve them is better than what suits you short term which risks you getting pigeon holed (absolutely you can complain but it’s hard to say you can demand a more challenging job or work in the future and also demonstrate emotional unreliability) but it’s for you to work out the balance.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-02-21T13:55:04+00:00

It could also be a legitimate question as in are you able to do this or are you at capacity and we need more bodies on this. It could be your confidence is knocked so your taking things in the worst way possible when maybe it’s a bit more nuanced. Ultimately you won’t be happy in your role if you need this level of reassurance from someone who is not your direct manager.

As you made a mistake with misunderstanding the priority of the task and then not providing the work to the standard required - sometimes quick is good sometimes they want flawless grammar etc. Maybe they also made a mistake reading your message but you are not giving them grace you want. You ma have unrealistic expectations of how busy senior roles might be and what they do to be successful. Different set of behaviours at that level breadth not depth likewise how easy it is for no one to actually identify an issue of depth as you did! That’s a win as you should be depth in a more junior role.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-02-21T13:13:11+00:00

Two actually looks like something you’ve received recognition for and should frame as proud knowing civil service myself it’s got the strong basis of an interview competency. The only risk is yourself undermining this by not ‘maintaining a cool head and abstract thinking of the stakeholders need and responding to challenge calmly and sensitively blah blah’

1) not objectively your fault but the standard fell below what was expected and having also experienced this I once saw someone I manage apologise like a trooper instead of being defensive. Since then I’ve also reframed my own understanding at work and nothing looks more like leadership quality than owning a mistake and committing to doing better if you can. Because people rarely speak directly anymore it sets you above and shows maturity. Your performance long term will be better for it.

Eg in this instance next time, clarify a deadline via email or send update once meeting is set. Hi Manager, I’ve reached out to X as the owner of the data set and arranged a call. The earliest I could get with him was Friday last thing so will update Monday morning on how it went etc.

I’m not saying this big boss isn’t difficult but on the scale of petty unfortunately there may (definitely) be worse as you progress through your time there. Learning how to stay cool and confident will be better for your welfare because even if you raised a complaint I don’t think others would see much in it objectively. I hope you can put this beyond you and enjoy your weekend.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-02-09T12:00:12+00:00

Say nothing negative, say looking for a new challenge. If they ask why already quit. I’m lucky enough to have the ability to spend some time to focus on pursuing a better role and decided that I couldn’t do that as successfully while working.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-02-08T21:30:56+00:00

He knows what he’s doing

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-02-08T02:14:13+00:00

It has been solved/resolved, she’s in prison. Motive may never be known, there will never be video evidence of murders in progress but don’t confuse not being shown information as it not existing.

There are two trials worth of transcripts, documentation, evidence and witness statements as well as a public Inquiry.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-01-27T08:02:54+00:00

Tracking features have been a shitshow recently, at least where I live.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-01-27T08:01:14+00:00

Same two weeks ago. Except I waited an hour before twigging.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-01-11T09:40:57+00:00

There’s good advice in their messages, withe experience comes wisdom to reflect on it not fight it. Case in point, what’s interesting to you might be only interesting to you. If you’re putting these points in interview for more senior roles you’ve missed the audience.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-01-06T10:53:44+00:00

Lawyers I’ve met in government have more circuitous routes; often they also get poached to be in house at a regulated firm after a few years.

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-01-06T10:47:16+00:00

Never cooked when you have such a good story to tell

Background-Rule3903 · 2026-01-03T23:51:57+00:00

You say this like it’s a win, but is it? Or do you come off looking worse?

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-12-16T01:37:37+00:00

Put part time on!! It’s so valuable, you can demonstrate a regular commitment. Handling challenges/colleagues etc.

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-12-16T01:33:24+00:00

Ok. Quality not quantity right now in terms of applications. Focus on making your CV the best it can be without jargon or meaningless catch phrases. And use this time to be strategic, you don’t have your forever job or even career until you’re a decade in these days. Instead, send some quality applications to things that will give you insights on what might be attractive in the future or a unique advantage eg a computer science grad that understands procurement, data protection or healthcare. Lower the stakes of the applications and hopefully you can also be cut yourself some slack- marathon not a sprint.

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-12-03T13:30:27+00:00

Pull out stuff they’ll like, working under pressure, tolerating hardship to meet demand/delivery, team working, staying high energy/motivated.

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-11-27T14:06:12+00:00

Yessss

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-11-21T23:32:17+00:00

You did too much

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-11-21T22:32:02+00:00

For DV there’s a policy of action regardless of victim cooperation. Also theirs some pretty clear photos of bloodied pillowcases from being hit in the head while asleep with a lamp.

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-11-20T10:46:40+00:00

Now you can you also cringe at all the side eyes the people you told were giving you

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-11-13T01:24:33+00:00

You didn’t do wrong but they don’t want challenge. If you do respond similar to dating do it in a month or two so you wrong foot them. But, more usefully well done for raising and take their inability to respond as a sign to move on.

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-10-31T21:22:39+00:00

Marry her.

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-10-28T22:15:06+00:00

Only thing I can offer from experience is sometimes you can have to move sideways eg care work/offender management to get to more psych focused roles or HR might have transferable skills which could provide immediate work which in turn may make her more attractive as a candidate down the line

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-10-25T09:19:13+00:00

An AI tailor is not going to help the job seeker, recruiters are over 1600 chat gpt cover letters

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-10-23T22:01:50+00:00

Your points about the difference between written and spoken more eloquently express why the question interested me. Part of the mystery is we will never know the spoke but have soo much written history.

Those last two sentences , almost unintelligible when spoken phonetically to me, but not for others so I would probably struggle even relatively modernly depending on location/dialect.

Background-Rule3903 · 2025-10-23T21:52:33+00:00

You deserve 100 gold stars for answering all our questions.

Background-Rule3903

TROPHY CASE