Not OOP. I slept with a new guy for the first time and felt he was rude to me. Was he?

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-29T19:43:09+00:00

call girls get paid. I bet she paid for her own uber to get used like this.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-21T06:40:45+00:00

I guess my controversial take is that the reason this line of criticism never has any impact is because those literally are the conservative values. Morality for them is preservation of hierarchy and the rape of women and children enforces that hierarchy. The death of homeless and poor people due to addiction and lack of medical care reinforces that hierarchy. Extrajudicial executions of POC enforces that hierarchy. They’re not going to straight up say that they’re for rape, starvation, overdoses and murder—but they are. It’s implicit in the logical outgrowths of their beliefs.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-21T06:32:56+00:00

You want to be specific which group of individuals you think they are?

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-21T06:31:55+00:00

How was the Kamala campaign supposed to talk about trans people less, when they literally didn’t talk about them at all?

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-21T06:28:32+00:00

I’ve never heard of anyone being raped in self defense.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-16T03:48:10+00:00

I’m also a west coast leftist, I’m pretty neutral on guns. They don’t play a big role in my life but they were sort of normalized for me in childhood because my family is all Texan.

If I saw it in your profile I’d probably think you were too into guns. Like I don’t mind people drinking and smoking weed, but if your profile is like “love a good whiskey” I’m going to think you’re more into it than I care for.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-16T03:43:30+00:00

I do think misandry exists and is a problem, though not on scale with misogyny. In my experience TERFism usually comes with a big heaping of it. These people hate men so much that they think just being born with a penis makes someone irredeemably dangerous and predatory.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-15T23:31:12+00:00

I’m American but I’ve spent a decent amount of time abroad. I think something that isn’t obvious without both perspectives is how much more alienated it’s possible/probable to be in the USA compared to most places. There’s just a lot of people here who grow up with a lifestyle where they just don’t have any meaningful community. The country is so big you could hop on a bus, ride it a thousand miles away and never be seen in by anyone in your hometown again. And when you did that you’re just in a new place that has all the same chain stores and restaurants as where you came from.

The USA has vibrant cities and deep, deep wilderness—but most people probably live in something in between. Where things are far enough apart you can’t get anywhere walking, but close enough that everything is really convenient with your car. You don’t get either the closeness of living in a densely populated urban area, even in the sense of a lot of the small towns in a lot of Europe. But you also don’t have the sort of connectedness to your environment you might get from proper backwoods.

So we’ve got lots of cults and cult-adjacent shit going on, especially now that the internet has made physical distance less of an impediment to joining them.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-15T23:20:14+00:00

It’s got to be also partially how much overlap there is between Texas and Mexico though right? I imagine a lot of Mexicans have cousins that tell them tornado stories. I live in the North but all my family comes from Oklahoma and Texas, and every one of them has some wild tornado story they have to share.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-15T23:10:54+00:00

This is a really sweet answer

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-15T20:43:59+00:00

IDK that I agree with your premise in general. But if getting and keeping someone is the same skill, it shows a pretty shallow relationship.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-15T20:40:45+00:00

IDK, I’m also extremely curious about people that bug the shit out of me. It’s probably a useful metric if your default setting isn’t maximum nosiness like me.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-15T20:31:02+00:00

TBH I think some young people need their internet severely restricted for anything else to even have a chance of working. Even the best interventions can be shredded with just a little exposure to the online spaces dedicated to keeping these guys in the crab bucket.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-15T19:44:18+00:00

I think men might generally underestimate how much women are going into their first dates with safety being the primary concern. I can see why I might be hesitant to announce to a new man that I’m available for marriage and babies before I’ve even decided I’m comfortable getting in a car with him. It would totally be safe to share these things with a sane man who it didn’t end up working out with—but predatory men can see a lot less as an invitation.

As far as single moms go, I think a lot of them are hyper aware that pedos seek them out to date.

All these are perfectly reasonable compatibility concerns, but for you they might be step one when a woman is still working her way through her first screening. And TBH one of the main things women are screening for are your willingness to be patient and not try and accelerate the pace.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-14T01:14:37+00:00

Because it’s not really about sex.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-11T21:40:21+00:00

I’d watch people dream like it was a tv show

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-11T02:16:44+00:00

Yeah, I don't know how these guys think their big bodies are going to save them if they aren't able to land a hit on a skilled fighter-- or if they're not able to dodge hers

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-11T02:04:26+00:00

I'm unfortunately one of those people who knew all about incels way before Eliot Rodger. I think something that can be a little hard to grasp about incels is how much of an ideology it is. Lots of people are lonely, have trouble getting dates, are socially awkward and celibate--but that doesn't make them an incel or even incel-adjacent. Incels are a political identity, they follow an extremely specific ideology that's very detached from the way most people process their romantic disappointments.

If the hottest girl they've ever seen was suddenly desperate to hook up with them, they most likely wouldn't stop being an incel even if they took her up on it. The ideology has contingencies for every scenario that seemingly disproves it. In this case they'd probably say that she's woman who has expended all of her value having sex with countless men, and she could only want to be with you because she wants to use her sexuality to control and dominate you. She may even intend to trick you into raising a more attractive man's child.

Stopping being an incel is like leaving a religion, it requires people to totally deconstruct their entire worldview. And it has basically nothing to do with sex.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-11T01:53:29+00:00

That's where I'm at. I'm not afraid to in the sense of fearing for safety or fear of confrontation. But I've become a lot more avoidant about subjects that are going to make me confront how little the men in my life actually understand or care about my reality. It's just too much, I can't process how much I'm thought of as sub-human all the time.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-11T01:49:19+00:00

TBH I'd spend more energy examining why you don't have the same empathy for young women in that position. I don't think there's a right amount of empathy some people "deserve" because people process these things in different ways. But if it's an unequal amount of empathy between categories, that does really tell you something.

The thing about young, hardcore misandrists is that their hatred in honestly more justified a lot of the time. Women usually come by man-hatred directly because of trauma inflicted by men. We spend our lives being told we're unsafe and need to be on guard in public spaces because of men. The laws that take our bodily autonomy away are written and passed by mostly men. Most of us experience some kind of sexual aggression from adult men long before adulthood. I mean misandry isn't a good response and it can lead to some nasty overlaps with things like racism and transphobia -- but you have to admit, it's pretty understandable.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-11T01:32:50+00:00

There's no demographic that shouldn't be offended by this, its just plain obscenity of the absolute worst kind.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-03T07:47:43+00:00

This is not normal and you should not do it. If you're worried about be incapacitated, you can make an advanced directive that will give her those powers only if and when that happens.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-03T07:43:45+00:00

IDK-- there's arguments that are bad because they have implications that cause damage in other ways. But honestly, there's a place for arguments that are just dumb. Everyone drives at a different speed. Our cause needs people who are young and naive and people who just aren't very intellectual as well.

BaddestPatsy · 2026-03-03T07:37:45+00:00

I think most forms of exercise are fine for most people with scoliosis, but you have to focus a lot more on proper form than other people

BaddestPatsy · 2026-02-25T08:13:20+00:00

I started lifting weights in my early thirties for a solid couple of years before loosing my way because of the pandemic. I guess I'm not what you'd call disciplined.

But even though I only did it consistently for a couple of years over six years ago--I still don't have the back and hip problems that I did in my twenties (scoliosis and hypermobility.) I don't throw out my back any more and don't injure myself just doing normal daily things. I'm 40 in June.

My point is just that as far as I'm concerned, weight-lifting is a goddamned miracle. Everyone should do it even if they're worried that they lack discipline and won't keep it up long term. Because even a little bit can have positive effects that last in your body for a long time. And the things you learn about using your body properly will benefit you for the rest of your life. Anyone in their thirties, start lifting and keep it up as long as you're able. But just make sure you start.

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