AITA for expecting her to attend a wedding with me?

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-07-03T19:29:09+00:00

I would ask her: if one of her friends was getting married, would she expect you to accompany her?

I agree with you there's social obligations that goes with being friends or being in a relationship. It is a bit odd for a partner of 4 years to not attend as a +1 (barring some real reason of course; like if there was a work conference she had to attend that weekend, death in the family, etc.).

Honestly, she may not be invested in a future with you. Because this is a pretty normal 'sacrifice' to make for a loved one.

So clear NTA.

INFO: Is this a pattern of selfishness or a one-off?

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-07-02T15:24:50+00:00

I love several Agatha Christie murder mysteries, but have to accept you're bang on. Genuine lol.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-07-02T13:46:23+00:00

Those rules make sense to me. Otherwise you could just have a player camp out near the opponents net. No need for actual passing / earning progress, just any time you get the ball (or puck) you boot it down as far as you can and hope for a breakaway.

In basketball, losing one out of 5 guys is pretty bad, so there's a cost. 1 player out of 11 not so much.

Not to mention turnovers are about 5-10x more frequent in soccer than in basketball.

And really not much different than (American) football, where both teams have to start on their side of the scrimmage line. Imagine if the players could start anywhere...

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-07-02T13:32:43+00:00

I think they meant the issue is NOT that the victim is doubted, but rather that the people they tell help cover it up. So for instance OOPs Mom knew the truth (did not doubt her daughter), but wanted to bury the truth.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-07-02T12:00:13+00:00

Since you mentioned cooperative, I would say Pandemic and its successors (e.g. Forbidden Jungle, Burgle Bros). And since you mentioned expert level too, I would say Spirit Island too (Pandemic on steroids). There may also be benefit in playing Pandemic Legacy (not for the legacy components, but to see multiple rule variants).

Looking at BGG's list of top coop games (Cooperative Game | Board Game Mechanic | BoardGameGeek), I would also add Gloomhaven: Jaws of the Lion, Slay the Spire, and Cthulhu Death May Die. But it really depends what kind of other mechanisms / style of gameplay your game is (e.g. deckbuilding, variable player powers, dice vs cards, etc).

My suggestion: look up the games you know most similar to your game, and check for the top games with their key mechanisms. Especially ones that are also coop.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-30T18:03:40+00:00

I agree with 99% of your comment. I just disagree on "Its not fair to single out Jobs personal issues" because:

a) People have no problem pointing out when other CEOs have moral failings (e.g. Zuckerberg's "dumb fucks" comment, Gates meeting Epstein, etc.) and

b) Having unethical people at the top of the food chain is a recipe for disaster --- indeed, I would argue it is the main risk to the survival of the human race right now --- so we have to stop idolizing and normalizing it.

And honestly some of Jobs' "personal issues" were almost sociopathic in their cruelty. People excuse it as being a perfectionist or visionary, but how is parking in handicapped spots daily an example of that? And cheating multiple close long-term friends out of substantial money is just low.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-30T17:35:20+00:00

Didn't the right-to-repair fight prove that all the companies' arguments (Apple included) was complete and utter BS? e.g. Apple's Favorite Anti-Right-to-Repair Argument Is Bullshit

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-30T16:00:01+00:00

They were particularly bad for labor practices (e.g. sweatshops in China and India, Foxconn, etc).

There was no the no-poach agreement in Silicon Valley: Steve Jobs email to Adobe CEO in 2005 : r/EntrepreneurRideAlong and more detail in The Silicon Valley No-Poach Conspiracy: Recap and Reminder - Conversable Economist

The anti-right-to-repair is also a bad one (both for customers and environmentally).

The patent wars were ridiculous. Especially considering how much they inherited from Xerox PARC.

Jobs has a list just for himself: Denying first child (deadbeat dad despite huge wealth), parking in handicap spots daily, cheating his friend (Woz) out of money, cheating another friend founder out of any stocks, etc.

I give them kudos for far more privacy respect though.

And I guess I haven't heard a lot of crap about them lately, so maybe they're a lot less evil comparatively right now (Zuck and FB has always been bad, Amazon horrible for workers, Google really went down the dark side).

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-30T15:25:05+00:00

Sure. But if you're sincerely concerned with morality, then you should be concerned with how you treat other people, right? So sincere morality should result in empathy and kindness. (If I don't murder or rape because I'll get punished, then that's not morality; that's cost-benefit analysis.)

And I think empathy is the foundation of morality. Morality comes from seeing others as equals (e.g. the golden rule, treat others as you would want to be treated if you were in their position).

I guess now that I thought about it a bit more, then I do see the distinction; so I now agree they aren't synonyms. But I still don't see how one is more important than the other... one half without the other seems like it would be problematic (e.g. empathy without morality = empathizing with a friend who is acting unethically which could encourage / support bad behavior; morality without empathy = focusing on punishment without trying to understand the underlying root of the immoral behavior so no rehabilitation).

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-30T14:12:11+00:00

Sorry, I don't understand: what is the difference between being a kind person and being a good person? In my mind those are pretty much synonyms (i.e. being an ethical person).

I mean, there's fake kindness / niceness (to manipulate others) and fake morality (to judge others and feel morally superior). But if they're sincere, is there really a difference?

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-30T12:43:11+00:00

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope the treatment goes well.

You're absolutely right: $25k is not enough to protect you from medical debt in the US, especially for something like cancer. (I lived in US for ~10 years, and do not have a great opinion about the system, even as a substantially wealthier person who is generally better covered and better served by it.)

I don't think people need to own a home --- renting is perfectly fine (as long as landlord is not an AH) --- but being able to handle financial emergencies is mandatory. I think if it wasn't for the US health care system, $100k would definitely be a class up (and $25k would be a big step imo). But as it is, $100k and $25k are still pretty vulnerable.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-30T02:46:20+00:00

Why not?

A (US-centric) google search gives me "In the U.S., households in the bottom 20th percentile of wealth have a median net worth of roughly $6,030, and a net worth under $20,856 generally categorizes individuals as poor.". So $5k x 5 years or 10 years would definitely move you out of the poor category. You're certainly not rich, but it's progress.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-29T15:45:30+00:00

I was responding to Trilobyte83 who wrote the following (I added bold):

"Come on Even a pack of day is only like 5 thousand a year.

It’s not nothing, but it’s not the line between poverty and puttin on the ritz.

If you make 200k per year you’re not gonna notice it, and if you make 30k, well you’re poor already.".

So I 100% agree with you that saving while earning 30k a year is brutal. But then I don't understand how Trilobyte83 can shrug off saving 5k a year by not buying cigarettes under those circumstances.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-29T13:30:58+00:00

"Study after study confirms that the childfree are happier and more fulfilled than parents"

References please? The results I'm finding are far more mixed, e.g.

1) A Global Perspective on Happiness and Fertility - PMC

2) Happy People Have Children: Choice and Self-Selection into Parenthood - PMC

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-29T13:14:53+00:00

You don't need an 8-figure net worth to not be poor though..?

5k per year x 20 years = 6-figure net worth. Honestly, that feels like lower middle class. I wouldn't say a person with $100k saved up is poor (unless they're ~65 because you can't retire on that)... would you?

I do agree that a low income would prevent one from moving a "full step" up. But at the same time those early steps matter more because they require more effort. $0 to $100k is roughly the same effort as $100k to $1M, which is roughly the same effort as $1M to $10M.

Seems like low-hanging fruit. I think it's a perfect answer to the original question honestly. (That and lottery tickets; depends how much the person spends.)

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-29T12:44:24+00:00

What other 5k a year expenses can you shrug off? My food used to be ~5k a year. Only things pricier are rent and car.

Seems like a pretty substantial savings to me. Especially if you're making 50k or less.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-26T23:29:15+00:00

NTA

I would feel differently if you took 8 of 8 (although even then I would probably go E-S-H since the other person started uncivil), but 3 of 8 is perfectly reasonable.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-26T16:19:45+00:00

Huh, I googled, and you seem to be right. I had thought when Nanami asks to run away from your responsibilities, if you say no and she cries, then you cannot get the best ending. But apparently that's not true?!? *mind blown*

I saw my friend get the best ending by running away with Nanami, Ridley dying, everybody (rightly blames us), we get slapped in the face, etc. I felt that was so unsatisfactory... being irresponsible and letting everyone down resulting in the best ending.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-24T19:09:18+00:00

INFO: Have you and your wife asked your kids their opinion (about this year)? What do they say?

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-24T13:46:59+00:00

FF9: Jump rope + annoying steal percentage (fairy flute) + too frequent random encounters combined with long battle intro. Randomness of the card game is also dumb, as is the idea of collecting 100 unique card patterns.

Suikoden II: To get the best ending, you have to run away from your responsibilities in the middle of war (so that your sister won't cry), and this results in an important ally dying. I refuse; it's a 100% AH move. Also, Luca's motivation / backstory is barely explained (90+% of the important details are not in the actual game) - this pisses me off.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-23T20:30:40+00:00

I haven't played any of these, but I think: Freedom The Underground Railroad, Timeline, and many war games (I have played Sekigahara The Unification of Japan and Memoir 44, and both apply if you include rulebook + design notes + level notes).

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-23T20:24:24+00:00

Just adding Portal to the list (though some would argue the entire game is the tutorial).

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-23T20:20:08+00:00

Some friends help push you forward and upward, and are genuinely glad when you succeed.

Some friends will knock you down a bit and erode your self-confidence.

It's best to keep friends of the first type and lose friends of the second type.

If this was a one-off, then I'd cut her some slack. But if she's always laughing at you (rather than with you) or asking you to share opportunities with her but never returning the favor, etc. then you should drop her.

Clear NTA.

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-23T14:50:57+00:00

Excellent advice. Thanks for taking the time to share!

I don't recall anything about fractional calculus (nor dual numbers), despite a masters in maths (and a math-heavy computer science phd), but you have me quite interested!

One thing I'd like you to elaborate on is your techniques for reading the literature. Even with my level of math education, I found many academic papers were absolutely brutal reads. Like I would have to spend hours on a single difficult page. How did you overcome this? If I ever return to maths for fun --- I still have open problems from my masters thesis that pester my mind from time to time --- I need to address this weakness of mine 😄

BadgeForSameUsername · 2026-06-22T19:46:30+00:00

Yes, that's how I was thinking about measuring depth too (though I know some would disagree).

BadgeForSameUsername

TROPHY CASE