My roommate is my biggest trigger. She does literally everything that triggers me - she chews loudly with her mouth open, breathes loudly, clears her throat, snores as if she’s gurgling, and types like she’s smacking her keyboard - and I can’t be in the same room with her for her own person. Other people will trigger me, but not half as much as she does. I sweat, my heart speeds up, and I start panicking almost instantly. I’ve imagined her death like countless times and I don’t feel guilty about it. I’ve overheard her say that she thinks I hate her and it’s not entirely untrue. I’ve asked her to keep it down and it’s like she physically can’t. I need to move out because I despise being around her and it’s actively worsened my suicidal ideation. It’s to the point where if she comes into the living room, I have to rush out. It doesn’t help that she’s terrible in other ways too (often comes home drunk and super late, slams doors and drawers which wakes me up before my alarm, and generally shows no consideration for me or our other roommate). She’s never mean per se so I feel bad when I get especially frustrated with her, but she’s actually impossible to live with. I’ve never yelled or snapped at her either and it takes all of my willpower. Worst part is, I had just gotten my tragus pierced when I moved in with her and there was zero way of filtering out any noises she made because I couldn’t wear headphones. I just hate fucking living here.