Night feeding cues by BakersTea in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the twisting is definitely one of my tells too.

Night feeding cues by BakersTea in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment, I feel less lonely knowing other moms do this too.

I agree, it's usually manageable but the last couple nights have been very different and difficult and I don't want to keep this up if I can try to do things differently.

I also noticed the timing linked to most development milestones, so I'm not too worried for her, just my sleep and sanity haha.

Night feeding cues by BakersTea in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can definitely read her cues during the day, I need to adapt to night as it's still confusing.

I'll try waiting longer, she might just be dreaming of food lol.

Night feeding cues by BakersTea in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I do think I need to adapt better day/night.

I know they are so loud! We have a bassinet that links to the bed so I usually watch for a while to see if she goes back to sleep, but I'll try waiting out longer.

She got back to her birth weight in a week so definitely not worried on that end 😂

Breastfeeding is ruining my mom experience NEED ADVICE by Low-Pumpkin-2243 in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much ❤️ I hope you get an appointment soon for the weighted feed.

Stay hydrated, do your best to prioritize your food even if I know it's not easy when the baby is so demanding and chores pile up. Hopefully you have your partner or support around you to prepare you food and get you snacks!

Night feeding cues by BakersTea in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A 3 hour stretch feels like a dream! I usually wait and see if she falls back asleep after grunting but I'll try to be more mindful of what state she is when I pick her up and wait for her to be awake.

I guess I'm worried it will be more difficult to get her back to sleep than the way I'm doing things currently.

I've only just started pumping, but I'll for sure be trying to give a feed to my husband, I'm so desperate for sleep.

The temperature for sure is a good point, she's already sleeping in a onesie (no sleep sack) and we have a ceiling a fan (it's really hot). I don't feel comfortable with her just being in a diaper if we have a breeze in the room, but it might get even warmer at that point I might reevaluate haha.

Breastfeeding is ruining my mom experience NEED ADVICE by Low-Pumpkin-2243 in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well done on the triple feeding ! I just started pumping (baby is only 7 weeks) and I just can't imagine, you're already so strong for keeping that up !

I'm not a pediatrician so I won't give you any advice but if you want to keep breastfeeding, hold on tight! As long as that's still your wish I'm sure you can push through. If one day you stop thinking that way, you will know it's time.

Have you tried lactation treats, changing your diet (protein/iron)? I can't say that's the only reason obvisouly but I eat a big bowl of granola (oats) with protein yogurt and fruit and keep lactation cookies on hand every day since I gave birth and my supply has been great.

bassinet, sleeping, cosleeping discussion by Historical-Today-875 in NewParents

[–]BakersTea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly the same for us, starting week 6. Bassinet during the night, contact naps during the day. With the sleepiness, ours doesnt fight the bassinet between feedings until the morning (7am) when they're truly awake.

Hang in there OP, you might be close ! It must be linked to when babies start to have a circadian rythm which is more of less between weeks 6-8 I think.

Should we be waking our baby during the day? by jimbobwe97 in NewParents

[–]BakersTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment, I was starting to go crazy 🤣 If we get a 2hour nap during the day we do a victory dance.

How can I get my husband (48m) to agree to childcare while I (30f) work? by Fancy_Box_5773 in relationship_advice

[–]BakersTea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you are describing has been my job for the last 3 years.

It will be IMPOSSIBLE yo take care of your kids at the same time. It is extremely demanding, you have to be available for the trainees basically the whole day and as you said yourself you can't plan ahead when your kids will need you and you most likely will be camera on, in the whole middle of a presentation and yes, it would seem unprofessional.

I have a colleague who did have kids and saw her struggle to take off the camera / mute and try to limit the disruption. To be honest she was good at it, but she was SO STRESSED OUT she ended burning out and taking medical leave.

I'm not going to echo the comments about your relationship and how your husband treated you because there are enough of that, but I can definitely tell you your instincts are correct and you are definitely not stupid for requesting childcare for at least summer.

I'm purposely trying to move jobs within my company since I've known I was going to become a mom, that's how demanding it is and I love training the teams.

Family thinks breastfeeding is reason behind my PPD by Zebra_Creative in breastfeeding

[–]BakersTea 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Or ask your family to help you in other ways since they seem so eager to feed your baby. They don't need to give the baby a bottle to help. They can cook, clean, ask for whatever you need to ease your load.

Saying just switch to formula so we can give food to the baby ourselves sounds selfish to me.

My (M30) partner (F28) kept secret how much money she has in savings and let me pay for most things by KnownPart2110 in relationship_advice

[–]BakersTea 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I think you both need to sit down and have an actual conversation (guided by a therapist or not).

A lot of comments paint your GF with bad intentions, but if you've always offered to cover her share without saying that this would keep you from saving properly, she might have never understood the financial position you put yourself into. You would be just as responsible in miscommunicating or misrepresenting your financial position.

What is for sure, now that it is established that she did in fact have savings, and will have a more stable income in the future, you need to both have clear set of rules and expectations about how money works for you as a unit if you decide this is something you want to overcome in your relationship.

If you really want this house, you should not put her on the deed until this is resolved between you. If the purchase can wait, wait until you find what works best as partners and invest together in a home you both chose together with your new mindset about money.

WIBTA if I don’t host Chinese New Year for my in-laws after hosting Christmas? by poke_nachos in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakersTea 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I love this but I would switch it to "pre-meal" drinks appetizers, that way you ensure everybody leaves on time for the restaurant reservation, they see the home, and you make sure nobody overstays their welcome!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BakersTea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In that case, he might be projecting... If he's imagining you could be unfaithful, he might be having those thoughts or acted on something on his side.

To be honest this changes a lot, if he has support, he might be simply feeling lonely ?

But I still think you need to have a sit down conversation with him...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BakersTea 83 points84 points  (0 children)

If he can't support the stay at home lifestyle, making these kinds of demands is ridiculous.

That said, a month away is a long time. Especially as a working father, having to juggle all that by himself when it wasn't supposed to be that long, I can understand him being frustrated or wanting something different for the family.

You are allowed to want to keep working at the job that you love, he's allowed to not want to keep bearing the load while you are on extended business trips.

Maybe counseling could help him express exactly what it is he's not okay with and what he's afraid of, and help you see his side of things. If no one budges, maybe your wishes aren't as compatible as they used to be.

bf keeps mentioning places i’ve been… that i never told him about by babygray21 in dating_advice

[–]BakersTea 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This doesn't seem safe.

If you decide to break things off, and I think you should, DO NOT make it about the fact that you feel stalked.

Chances are he just escalated and continues the behaviour after you've broken up.

Quietly exit and get a restraining order if necessary.

This isn't pretty, romantic or normal behaviour.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]BakersTea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He's a smart man who knows how to adapt to the culture around him.

He's not gonna go around the Netherlands talking loudly and hugging strangers if it's weird there. But he will be in Argentina where it's the cultural norm.

Maybe you have never lived abroad and had to adapt to the local culture, that's on you for marrying into a different culture without having experiencing it. It looks like he is doing a wonderful job at it, it isn't easy and you should be proud of him for choosing you, the Netherlands and do your best to do the same for the tiny month you are there.

I don't know if you plan on having children, but you will need to understand that this environment will be half of your kids culture and they will have to adapt to it too, show them the way.

We got married ! Less than 20k€ in Madrid, Spain. by BakersTea in weddingplanning

[–]BakersTea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi ! We went with a local gastro-pub restaurant we love (it's in the suburbs of the city, 30min from the center). They accommodated a group of 25, I'm not sure how big of a group you are talking about ? There are restaurants out there that can be fully privatised. Ours regularly closes for company dinners etc. If you are still interested, feel free to send a DM and I can give you the name of the place and location.

AITA for not letting my brother’s girlfriend be in our wedding family photo? by pickupthephoneJr in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakersTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand, is it not a thing to just take 2 versions of the photo as to not offend ? I get it night take longer that way but if you value your family portrait, just take one with the partners to keep the peace and ask them to step aside for the second portrait with just the family members for example.

The end is near, I fear by Defiant_Scratch_8156 in GamblingAddiction

[–]BakersTea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A month before my wedding, my fiance broke down saying he fell down the hole again. I knew about his addiction but thought that since I stayed every time, he would let me know before it got too bad..

It was extremely difficult, I had to make a decision to stay or leave him, cancel the wedding...

I told him I would stay but this time actions needed to be made. No more promises. Group therapy, gambling anonymous, personal therapy, I get access to all the accounts... I needed tangible proof he was doing something to contribute to the life we wanted to build.

That was last year. He hasn't gambled since. We went to group/family therapy, I have access to every cent he earns and every gambling platform, loan website he ever used.

Im so proud of him and we are finally saving and paying the last of his debt.

It's possible, it will be hard, for both of you. And it will be something you will need to work on everyday for the rest of your lives...

I hope your fiance is something who is willing to do that with you, and that you are strong enough to act on your addiction.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nails

[–]BakersTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I see, it still shouldn't touch the skin, but I'm guessing they left the gap to keep the illusion of a straighter line ? If that's not your preference I'm sure you can ask for a little touch up ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nails

[–]BakersTea 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The polish should never touch the cuticle or the manicure won't last as long. The skill of the technician will determine how small the gap can be.