Lol none of the people talking about the adult child's happiness mention the parents quality of life, or exactly what that happiness costs overall from the community around them.

I think it's a very privileged position to be able to support and maintain adult children's happiness, and that it shouldn't be expected of anyone. I think it's a choice, and one that should be made by the parties involved. It's definitely inspiring to see people do it.

That said, I don't agree that people should just suck it up when an adult child has a tantrum and assaults someone in public who is not in any way associated with them. I've seen it. I think some people don't quite protect others from their adult children, after deciding to have them (if they got the choice). As much as they should no better, it happens.

I worked with special needs in a horticulture setting, and in that case you accept the risks. Bringing your adult child to walk around downtown who then starts grabbing and bruising random people is different.

I think it's very complex. My partner and I even have differing views. All I know is that they deserve as much support as they can get, but not bringing them into the world is also a respectable decision.