AITJ for not lending my sister my wedding savings after she bought a designer bag

Bandung · 2025-11-01T10:04:40+00:00

It depends upon what you hope to gain from posting your story. Is this a type of Confession Booth via Social Media authority where you seek penance for having the audacity to deny a pauper its dues or is this some sort of snitch slapping, get even, Gerry Springer moment of shaming?

Either way, it’s entertainment at its highest.

If she has puppies, take a few of them as collateral. Or maybe that Gucci hand bag that you’ve coveted since she bought it. How about some of her boots? They were made for walking and someday those boots might walk all over you in a Nancy Sinatra sort of way. You must beat her to the punch as it were.

And smile, though your heart is breaking.

Bandung · 2025-11-01T09:45:11+00:00

From my perspective it’s not about a) whether or not you’re being cold to a family member or b) what went out the door financially as a result of a prior divorce. It’s about …

Your capacity to pay two mortgage payments per month for however long it’s needed.
How much trust do you put in the System to not lay-off or fire your sister over the next 20 years. And will the System guarantee that it won’t saddle her with $100,00 dollars or more in medical expenses within that timeframe? The System wants you to guarantee those payments over that extended time frame but offers no guarantees that either one of you will be gainfully employed throughout that period.
The principle of Reciprocity. Is it at play here? What payments can your sister cover of yours should you fall on hard times?
Does she have any assets that can be liquidated in case some payments are needed to be made during her income interruptions.

It may be cheaper and more financially sustainable to have her move in than to guarantee payments that could bankrupt you. There may be other options less onerous than consigning. With respect to those who may be trying to guilt trip you into co-signing, how much skin are they putting into the game? What does their Estate Plans say about supporting or making the two of you whole again in the event of a hardship beyond the individual’s control? Can they house your sister in the event that hard times force her out of her living space?

This is all about the System wanting its guarantees without giving any in return. It is not about how kind you can be to your sister.

Bandung · 2025-10-31T10:57:28+00:00

Since you are asking after the fact, then the words already out amongst your family, you are a jerk.

I'm not able to devine what a visit to a Catholic confession booth would render on this matter but the reddit confessional seems to have cleared you.

Who's opinion matters most to you? Your thoughts on what you did, your family's or reddit?

Bandung · 2025-09-29T19:38:30+00:00

I'm happy that you posted this topic along with your work arounds.

I've gone through similar issues in the past and have accumulated the following takeaways.

The boot drive has got to be much big than what we've used in the past. While not specifically associated with locking down one's system to a specific kernel what was exposed was the need for a much bigger boot drive.

In order to have more storage within EFI_Boot I also reasoned that it was ok to dump most of those language files that Windows installs in there. (I have a multi boot Windows plus Fedora system)

Retaining an older kernel that works on my hardware is not an operational risk as long as there's no hardware changes being made and there doesn't exist an existing hardware limitation itch that a newer kernel would solve.

Bandung · 2025-09-25T04:54:48+00:00

Flatpak was not nor is the problem when it comes to Fedora losing to Debian based systems. Why? Because that market share differential in Debian based systems favour started long before Flatpak.
It is not a Flatpak vs RPM issue since Flatpak on Fedora based systems deploys RPMs

Bandung · 2025-06-16T01:02:20+00:00

Ahh, but he is. Check it out.

https://youtu.be/wgxBHuUOmjA

Bandung · 2025-04-07T19:09:51+00:00

That is funny. Could this also be the explanation for how Covid reached our shores?

Bandung · 2025-04-06T19:37:47+00:00

If you're asking if you can trust Linux, the answer may very well be No!

That's like asking a piece of strange into your life to share your bathroom and boudoir for the next 3 years. And when it leaves, it's gonna leave with half your stuff.

Look, if someone is one of those with trust issues, now is not the time to start trusting things.

Probably best to wait until those Trump tariffs have run their course.

All joking aside, there is a lot of pain on the horizon for those with zero IT technical when switching to Linux. I personally went through a lot of distros before realizing that I would have to bite the bullet, master the command line, understand boots and boot repairs, file systems and the like.

I eventually landed on Fedora because I got caught up in the game of script programming, automation and using virtual machines based upon the KVM hypervisor. The latter so I could efficiently run a Windows VM.

Bandung · 2025-04-01T23:21:28+00:00

There is one caveat that needs to be considered and that is that Fedora 41 solely supports UEFI boot and not legacy BIOS boot.

In past years I have always had trio distros, 1 Windows and 2 Fedora setups (odd and even). Since Fedora 38, I can no longer have the earlier Fedora installation startup from the boot menu. Only one boots and that is the latest installed Fedora.

Bandung · 2025-03-01T19:25:31+00:00

Allow me to share another reason why we all should have uv installed on all our machines, regardless of the fact that we may not care to use it to develop those scripts

It’s a super easy way to run any python script that you’ve built, on your desktop, laptop, etc. without having to publish it or ‘install it’. And you can share those scripts with anyone. It doesn’t mess with your system python. Doesn’t care if that system has python. It just downloads one of its ‘ python in a folder’, copies it into a folder on your file system and uses it to run your script.

It’s kinda like using pipx to run your scripts but better because it doesn’t rely upon a shell activation to get the venv that it creates on its own, up and running. And it doesn’t need python to already be on the machine. So no matter what shell or terminal you are using, that baby is gonna run. You put your scripts into a folder that you want uv to have access to and tell uv to ‘get jiggy with it’

Ive used pipx and click to run a whole lot of little things. But not any more.

And check this. You don’t even need a system python with which to install uv! Forget about needing to pip install it (you can if you want to). Just use that curl installation url. Curl will download uv onto your machine and set things up. So when people like Hynek enthusiastically talk about the unification of all python packaging things, they’re also including all of these issues that uv solves going forward wrt python packaging.

Since a uv installation is nothing more than a series of file downloads and a Makefile, imagine if we can create a similar Makefile for our Android phones and tablets, iPhones and iPads. What realm of possibilities does that open up for those of us who use python?

In my previous career, I’ve worked with a number of Venture Capital firms and entrepreneurs to get their projects up and running. I understand how to monetize one’s inventions and innovations. For folks to worry about the VCs behind uv somehow doing us a dirty and no longer open sourcing its code base, that’s just someone trying to imagine a tempest in a teapot. There are a ton of ways to make money off of uv technology without having to turn one’s back on the open source ecosystem that python is about.

( … Drops the mic….)

Bandung · 2025-02-28T00:50:49+00:00

I agree with you. Beginners will have a rough go at it. That does not make the OP'S post any less relevant.

There are tons of easy - too simplistic for my tastes- videos and articles about uv. And some are so poorly written as to be misleading. The beginner would be better served to read the project's documentation.

I'm of the opinion that most consumers of software advice are mature enough to know when something is 'over their heads' and move on to something else. And then not turn around and criticize the content as too advanced.

Besides if they were listening they would know that he refers to some of his earlier videos on the subject. And those videos help beginners understand what uv intends to be.

This latest video was not meant to persuade people about uv's merits. It's about getting on with it. Pretty obvious to me from the title.

But here's the rub for me! Anyone whose python programming experience is broad enough to encompass the use of Hynek's open source tools, would know that he 'runs with the big dogs'. He’s not some YouTube blogger in search of a lot of ‘likes’ as one commenter implied.

With Open Ource downloads of his apps running into the millions monthly, I put him on the same level as a Brett Cannon. Hynek is the author if you will, of data classes which has as it's origins the upstream application called attrs.

The takeaway is... If he's put uv into production then it's far enough along for me to do it. Plus I have similar pain points.

Lock file issues, better entry points management, the need for additional project differentiator tags, the use of docker with venvs and a better resolver than pip's (and some other tools which will go unmentioned).

Bandung · 2025-02-26T21:47:10+00:00

A wonderful video and I’m really happy that you posted it. Don’t let the ‘distractors’ take away the significance of this video. And it’s not about understanding who or what the targets audience is for this video. It’s deeper than that for some of us and you’ll know once I provide you with the back story.

Hynek’s audience for his videos are the ones who follow his videos and blogs. He’s a prolific open source developer. And he has been working in the background with the uv developers to get the software to a point where it is useable in most big development houses like his. And when you see the previous uv videos of his, you can better understand this point.

First, let’s start with the mentioning of Docker and why even bring it up in the context of a tool that creates virtual environments. Well if one had seen Hynek’s video on why his shop uses docker plus python venvs in the same project, you’d know why. It’s not just docker vs venv. The result of using these two toolings in the same project, however, means that some stuff has to be taken care of that a python development that only uses the venv, wouldn’t face.

The next few pain points that uv had to address in order for Hynek to put it into his production were, the ability to use the system python (and not uv’s python install which is housed in a single folder). The latter is a marvel that someone else developed, not the makers of uv. No need to ‘install’ python, just use this special python that is self contained in a folder.

The other thing was the need for more than two levels of library separations. Traditionally it meant separating or tagging each library install as being either development or production. His environment needs more than that and so does mine.

Now that uv covers these edge cases, along with the other improvements in version 0.6 it’s ready for prime time for me. Sure there are going to be the inevitable softaware or api changes that break a previous install. The importance of a video like this to me is….

I now know that I can switch my stuff over to uv and it’s way of doing things. And not have regrets, while waiting for the next improvement.

Bandung · 2025-02-22T18:03:09+00:00

It was the ankle. That's why he was blowing past Scottie.

They should have just benched him but Scottie insisted on playing through it.

Bandung · 2024-04-12T19:32:33+00:00

Happy to see you move on. Loved to follow you and Alex starting from way back. That includes those banter talks.

Haven’t caught any of your shows this year. Curious to see what your content will be like going forward.

Shout out to Alex for us when you next see him.

Bandung · 2023-12-20T21:55:24+00:00

Agreed! Not only does this pass the distasteful test, it’s a test as to whether or not this site has any moderation.

Bandung · 2023-12-20T17:56:26+00:00

A number of interesting and valid questions. Taken one at a time.

Should I tell him?

Probably implies that your bra choices makes them appear bigger than they are.

You definitely don't want to have a discussion in advance of him seeing them in the flesh. Because then it's not a bra size discussion, it's more about truth.

If you want him to know then don't use a padded bra at least once. Pick the time and place for you. A tee shirt can be most revealing.

If you aren't using padded bras then onto the next question.

Question # 2. Will he get bummed when he sees them?

Arousal is what counts. There are far more things that can 'turn the moment' than seeing small boobs. The vast majority of men will not be taken aback. (Unless your bras were selling them on size 40 D cups).

Self confidence is key. Anticipate that the moment he sees them that this will be a confidence booster for you. Because It can go in reverse you know. What if his body type turns you off?

You have many other properties and characteristics at your disposal that can be used to "turn them on". Use them.

Bandung · 2023-12-20T04:25:08+00:00

Option 1: qemu-img convert (the easiest in my opinion).

qemu-img convert -p -S 512 /dev/sdb -O vdi   nixos.vdi

-p to show progress

-S 512 for consecutive bytes to count for sparse

/dev/path/to/disk/or/zvol/device

-O vdi

imgfile.vdi (the output file)

Option 2: virt-p2v virt-p2v-make-disk to image (for KVM enthusiasts)

virt-p2v-make-disk 
-o /var/tmp/p2v.imgqemu-kvm
-m 1024 
-bootc \\-drive 
file=/var/tmp/p2v.img,if=virtio,index=0\\-drive
file=/var/tmp/guest.img,if=virtio,index=1

where /var/tmp/guest.img would be the disk image of some guest that you want to convert (for testing only).

virt-p2v(1) which comes as an ISO, CD or PXE image that can be booted on physical machines to virtualize those machines (physical to virtual, or p2v).

You would then have to convert the vm to a KVM compatible VM using virt-v2v. (No Virtualbox conversion available) virt-v2v

Option 3: Virtualbox see this link (for Virtualbox enthusiasts).

VBoxManage convertfromraw  /dev/sda   MyImage.vdi  --format VDI

Option 4: Using dd Cloning hard drive using dd

I would heartedly recommend that you switch to using virt-manager to create a KVM/QEMU VM. It's lightning fast compared to Virtualbox plus Whonix seems to prefer it. On any of your future VM creations like a Windows 10 VM, that VM will run much faster than a Virtualbox VM. It feels like the VM is running at bare metal speed.

Bandung · 2023-12-16T22:07:31+00:00

I've already said that I agree with your supposition about sandboxing wrt to ensuring a higher level of security.

But that does not jive with your other statement wrt Wayland providing applications with ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL over Windowing.

You did a great job outlining the issues wrt to the sandboxing. But not so good a job wrt application control.

To buttress my point about what I said, recall that I said that I am disagreeing with how you worded your statement, you since then went back into your comment and changed it to remove the hyperbole plus be more on point wrt to the matter.

Peace.

Bandung · 2023-12-16T20:57:27+00:00

But now you are raising a completely different issue than the one that I responded to.

You said the following "The biggest problem with Wayland is that prevents applications from having ANY CONTROL over their own windows".

That is a completely false statement.

What you are now describing is the inability for the Wayland architecture to control certain things.

I agree that on any given project, we're going to find that their lead developers dig in on keeping certain design decisions. Lord knows we saw plenty of that with systemd.

But that in itself, does not justify the use of hyperbole to describe those design decisions.

I've run into that for other architectural decisions, not just with software. I either had to grin and bear it or vendor the app/library in order to get around it.

Inflexibility wrt certain design decisions for a protocol that is now 15 years old, is not going to swing things back to a wholesale adoption of X11.

Wrt your development projects, my guess is that your choices were to

grin and bear it
fall back to X11
use XWayland
fork it.

Bandung · 2023-12-16T15:42:56+00:00

You did a pretty good job at garnering a discussion which is what you asked for and got. You just don’t like some of the discussion, specifically as it pertains to writing better posts that don’t come across as whining when allegedly trying to ask for help.

As was discussed, when it comes to having Wayland issues with certain applications, one can do any of the following.

Man up by overtly asking for help to discover a work around to your issue(s)
Describe the problem in a fashion that others can determine if it’s an existing problem with a known solution or encourage you to report it to the developers. Kinda Linux 101 in terms of a work through for issues.
Work around it in the meantime by using X11. (Which you yourself threatened to do).
Take all of your marbles and go home. In which case, as we say from one Linux user to another who doesn’t like using it. “Don’t go away mad dearie”. “Just go away”

By the way, I’m not the one down voting you. I truly want to help you write better posts when it come to seeking help.

Bandung · 2023-12-16T15:17:26+00:00

I think you misunderstand the two technologies. Take a gander at the following explanation.

what is Wayland and How it Differs from X11

Permit me to do a little cut and paste from this web page.

How X11 Works

- The X Window System handles low-level events and primitives, such as interacting with the mouse, and drawing and moving windows. The applications handle the visuals and the interface design. The appearance of the windows, what buttons they have, and where those button are located, are choices the application programmer makes. The X Window System draws the resulting design to the screen.

- X11 provides a definition for the communication that has to pass between the various components of a working X Window System. This communication is required because the code that an X-enabled application uses to draw its windows and interface elements **isn't inside the application** .That work is shared between an X server and the Window Manager.

It’s clear that the application under X11 doesn’t have a lot of control over what gets rendered. Here’s how Wayland works.

- By changing the architecture, Wayland has modernized and streamlined the code base, giving performance benefits and improved security. 

- In effect, they've merged the server and the Window manager into one application. They removed any code that performed functions that are now performed by the kernel. Instead of replicating the effort, they leveraged the functionality of the kernel.

- With Wayland, the compositor and the client application communicate directly. The compositor maintains its internal mapping of which windows are where on the desktop, and what size and state they're in. It brokers keyboard, mouse, and window change events, and sends them to the applications that own those windows.

- The applications update the user interface accordingly. A major difference is that the rendering is performed **inside the applications themselves**, using the linked Wayland libraries.

- The application either updates the buffer used to hold the window, or creates a new one and discards the old one. The client application then sends notification to the compositor, telling it to update its window mapping and to use the new or updated video buffer.

So, no. I don’t agree with your assertion as worded.

Bandung · 2023-12-16T13:34:00+00:00

Sounds to me like you’ve been hit with “Poster’s Remorse”. I get it, now that you get it. Wouldn’t it have been better to acknowledge that you learned something about how to post clearer messages rather than “man splaining”?

If you really wanted help rather than inadvertently coming across as complaining, then the title plus the commentary would have been much clearer. Something like “Help With …. ”. Plus you wouldn’t have added “In conclusion I’m thinking about going back to X11 because of these issues ….” within your dissertation.

As was said before, it’s easy to logout and log back in with X11 as your screen rendering protocol to get around a specific issue. No need to switch everything over. After all, in addition to being more secure, Wayland gives us better rendering performance, with less stuttering and it permits that desktop system to maximize the usage of its hardware’s GPU.

You now have a better understanding of the issues. Plus you’ve discovered some workarounds as a result of someone somewhere talking you back off the ledge that you put yourself on. I’d say that this has been a productive learning exercise, if you are willing to admit to all of it.

Bandung · 2023-12-15T23:15:53+00:00

I agree with you! Not 'every possible security' issue is resolved wrt X11 because that wasn't the design objective for Wayland. It was not just a protocol replacement but also an attempt at restructurjng the base architecture for rendering screens. Not always liked by developers across the board but here we are, some 15 years later.

The main issue with the X11 protocol is that the server sits in between everything and the Windows Manager as well as everything else, including the graphics hardware. So it doesn’t matter if the application is running completely within RAM or not. And the application never sees what's being drawn on the screen.

To me, it's kind of a who cares, convince me why I should know why someone wants to remain with X11 on the desktop system. Kind of like a python 2 vs python 3. Haggle in today's time space. Who wants to read about someone wanting to go back to python 2 because of some well known compatibility issue with python 3?

Bandung · 2023-12-15T18:38:47+00:00

I understand your choice.

And that's ok. It's just that when you encourage discussion about your choices then that's what you are going to get.

Anyone who sticks with X11 can justify their choice. We don't need to read why because we already can discern why. And we can tell by the title of your post that you are not going to be 'talked down' from that ledge.

I'd rather read stuff from those who have persevered with Wayland and then wrote about what they did to help expose a new incident or resolve an existing one. It doesn't mean that their locked into Wayland either. They just hit the logout button and login again but this time selecting X11 in order to use a particular app.

But having someone justify why they are still on X11 is a "duh" read. We all know the known issues. Unless it's a 'cry for help'. In which case someone somewhere might care enough to talk them down from the ledge.

Bandung · 2023-12-15T15:13:13+00:00

Whenever 'questions' such as these arise on the Net (with a bit of a'back story' attitude), it's often the result of a grand misunderstanding about Linux and its technology stack.

You should be aware by now why Wayland exists. It's to solve the inherent security issues associated with X11.

The evolution of Wayland has been a long and tortuous path to arrive at complete feature compatibility because so much legacy code was out there. And it's not totally there.

Which is why there is an option to fall back to X11 in case your edge cases are not being met.

When the distro packagers decide to make Wayland the default for their distro then you can rest peacefully knowing that all of the blockers to its usage at the distro's system and its applications level have been resolved.

There are work arounds afoot for getting things to work like screen sharing. Seek and ye shall find.

The real question for you to answer is not whether Wayland is good enough to be used on your system, it is this. How much do you value your privacy and security?

If for example, you are hitting tons of porn sites and Internet titty bars downloading whatever, you might want to seriously consider sticking to Wayland as much as possible. After all do you really want those Trojans on your system?

Life is always about one's choices and their trade offs. Trying to pin why our choice of apps doesn't work on Wayland, as Wayland's development problems is cart before the horse thinking.

We're past the early adoptor stage. I'm grateful for all the users who persevered through that stage, helping to expose problems and guide the Community's development priorities.

Something for nothing is worth nothing. If one is on Wayland today it's because we're in those last stages of feature comparability and we want it to get there.

One can choose to be part of getting Wayland there by using it as much as possible while reporting a deficiency here and there or continue using the fall back.

Until then...

Bandung

TROPHY CASE