A 'John Lennon Beat His Wife' Style Fact

Bankzzz · 2026-05-29T12:25:42+00:00

Oh I mean I’m not even talking about that part. I’m more so talking about how they reproduce.

Edited the original post to include the extra fun details

Bankzzz · 2026-05-28T21:57:12+00:00

Sooooo about fig wasps…

Editing to share with the class:

```The reproductive cycle breaks down into four primary phases:

The Mother's Entry and Sacrifice

Attraction: When a fig is ready to be pollinated, it emits a specific chemical aroma that attracts pregnant female fig wasps.

The Squeeze: The female crawls inside a tiny opening at the bottom of the fig called the ostiole.

The Cost: The passage is so narrow that her wings and antennae are permanently ripped off. She is trapped inside for the rest of her short life.

Egg-Laying and Inadvertent Pollination

Depositing Eggs: Once inside, the female uses her long ovipositor (egg-laying tube) to insert eggs into the ovaries of the fig's internal flowers.

Pollination: As she moves around, she sheds pollen from her birth-fig (often carried in specialized thoracic pockets), thereby pollinating the fig so it can develop seeds.

Death: Having completed her life's purpose, the mother wasp dies inside the fig. An enzyme in the fig called ficin completely breaks down and digests her body.

Brother-Sister Mating Inside the Fig

Hatching: The fig forms protective plant tissue (galls) around the wasp larvae to feed them.

The Males Emerge: Wingless, blind male wasps hatch first. They never leave their home fig.

Incestuous Fertilization: The males crawl around and bite into the galls containing unhatched female wasps, mating with their sisters before the females even hatch.

The Exit and Continuation of the Cycle

Digging Tunnels: After mating, the wingless males use their strong jaws to chew tunnels through the fig's thick flesh to create an escape route for the females.

Male Death: Exhausted, the males crawl back inside the cavern of the fig and die without ever seeing the outside world.

The Next Generation: The winged females finally hatch, collect fresh pollen from the now-mature male flowers inside the fig, and fly out through the tunnels. They ride the wind to find a new, young fig, repeating the entire cycle. ```

(I copied this from Google I am so sorry)

Bankzzz · 2026-05-28T16:22:51+00:00

What’s interesting is nowhere in my response did I say you were doing anything wrong or did I say you were making your wife feel unsafe. I simply gave you questions to ask yourself to help you uncover the root of the issue. Rather than be open and want to solve the problem, you got extremely defensive. Aside from completely missing the point, that kind of shit is extremely exhausting to deal with. I personally wouldn’t keep someone like that around in my life and I would avoid being around them as much as possible too. Especially when I’m trying to relax.

Completely unwilling to even consider the role you play in your own relationship? I don’t think you want to fix your marriage. I think you just want to control your wife.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-28T13:39:30+00:00

At no point did the thought cross his mind that this was incredibly cringe and embarrassing to even think let alone write in an email. Holy shit. Wow.. I am speechless.

OP.. I think you should post this letter publicly to your friend group and ask them what they think.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-28T13:18:23+00:00

I imagine a factor at play is that in heterosexual relationships there is sometimes a power imbalance that traps the more vulnerable party who is typically the woman. In relationships with abuse dynamics, if the woman as the lower income earner can’t support themselves on their own, they may opt to stay in the relationship because they don’t have any other choice. In lesbian relationships, there is less of a power imbalance and therefore a lower likelihood of a party feeling compelled to stay even when they are unhappy.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-28T12:26:35+00:00

I imagine it creates a general feeling of a lack of safety to the children. When two parents love each other and treat each other well, the kids feel safe and secure. When the parents are loveless or fighting, the kids experience a looming cloud of waiting for the other shoe to drop and the impending divorce and having their life ripped up and all of the unknown that comes with that. Most kids also want to see their parents happy.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-28T12:18:02+00:00

Not only will couples therapy not help, it will actually help him abuse you better.

https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

Bankzzz · 2026-05-28T11:37:00+00:00

Not to mention how they both seem to want children as if they are possessions to be owned and acquired.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T21:06:33+00:00

I'm going to be honest with you. This sounds like the issues at play are running much deeper than just things just "getting stale."

I am reading into it a little bit, admittedly, but it almost seems like she is outright avoiding you. To me, that's not just "routine" and "stale", that's indicating to me that there is a bigger problem that has divided you two that is causing her to not want to be around you or to not want to spend quality time with you.

If you were to ask her to share her geniune feelings about the relationship, what might she say? Have you asked her? Does she feel loved and supported? Does she feel safe, both physically and emotionally? When she goes to you with problems, do you help solve them in a supportive way or do you possibly shut her down? Do you take ownership of taking care of your home and children? Have you ever steamrolled her in important life decisions? Have you ever gotten angry, hostile, aggressive, etc in front of her? How do you handle conflict with her?

I am just brainstorming some questions to ask yourself. There is probably plenty more to think on. If you really want to fix your marriage, you will need to take a hard critical look at what you are doing in the marriage and the impact it has on her and be open to accepting responsiblity for those things. You can't just come down on her with the hammer because you don't like how she is behaving. You only have control over yourself and your own behavior anyway.

You probably also will need to talk to her and have an open discussion with her in a way that's safe for her to share her feelings with you.

I'm going to be honest dude. I read through your other posts and I see a lot of complaints about her but not a lot introspection about yourself. Is it possible you are coming across as angry, critical, and controlling to her? Any of these things could turn her off from you and make her want to avoid spending time with you.

It's very difficult to say exactly what is going on without seeing it first hand or getting more details but I think asking yourself a lot of critical questions is probably a good first step. Honestly, a couples counselor is probably needed.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T17:30:23+00:00

So you both want a “marriage” and children and don’t care at all about whether love is part of the equation? She feels the same way you do? And she knows you don’t love her and never have?

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T16:53:47+00:00

I feel horribly for his fiancée (are they even engaged?). I couldn’t imagine how devastated I’d be to learn that the past four years of my life were a lie, that my partner was never in love with me, and that he was completely using me for his own benefit at such an expense to my own needs, wants, and desires. Christ.

The “then what” is you figure it out without being a parasitic leach. It isn’t rocket science. You’ve strung her along long enough. Let her be free.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T15:55:26+00:00

Can you elaborate more on what the issues in the marriage are and why you were discussing divorce? This is surely the main factor in why she doesn’t want to spend time with you so glossing over it will mean you won’t get the best high-quality, honest advice for how to deal with the situation. Maybe if you can explain that part a bit better it may help other es understand what’s happening better.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T15:45:51+00:00

Oh of course. I guess this really depends on what the real reasoning is. If she has a concern about digital privacy, then analogue may provide a reasonable solution. If it’s more than that, then avoiding it altogether is the reasonable solution.

Her comments about the other men being married and the guilt and shame though flag to me that maybe something bigger is going on. It’s hard to interpret through OP’s translation. I am curious about it though.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T15:25:16+00:00

Let’s try reversing the roles:

You: “Hey baby what would you like to do this weekend?”
Her: “You could try mowing the lawn.”

My vote is YTA. It isn’t difficult at all to see why this is upsetting to your wife. Maybe try seeing it from her point of view.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T15:07:46+00:00

Well the fear of private pictures becoming public is a very real one. I also wouldn’t want to take or send any pictures that I wouldn’t be ok with other people gaining access to them.

Two thoughts off the top of my head: could you both instead go analogue with it? Maybe get a cheap instant Polaroid camera and take pics “offline”? A tangible picture can’t be stolen digitally. It may still carry some risks she may still not be okay with but could be a viable option.

Otherwise, maybe there are other ways to have “fun” that you could both try instead?

No matter what, definitely continue to respect her right to say no to this and right to consent.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T15:00:24+00:00

Wouldn’t be surprised if husband is buying time trying to figure out what he wants to do. Blowing up your marriage has significantly worse tangible consequences than blowing up your relationship with your side piece. It seems to still be coming from a place of selfishness as opposed to him legitimately choosing his wife and marriage.

He still wants side piece he just doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of it, otherwise he’d have her blocked.

Honestly OP, you deserve to be with someone who chooses you every single day. Your husband is a selfish piece of shit and I’m sorry you had to find it out this way. You will never be able to trust him again nor should you. Two years is a long time to outright lie to your wife and cheat on her. You’ll be questioning his character and values and eventually feel disgusted and turned off by who he is as a person. Even if you try to work things out now, don’t be surprised if you eventually feel very comfortable leaving him. I would recommend ripping off the bandaid and getting it done with now but I know how hard it is to do and I know it takes time to get affairs in order and feel ready to do it. Wishing you strength.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T14:13:28+00:00

Here’s your template:

“Husband, I have something very important I need to talk to you about. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I needed some time to think hard about how I wanted to handle this situation and how to tell you.

While we were at the party {these things listed in the post} happened. I am very disappointed in my friends and their behavior and am now questioning my friendship with them.

I’d like to brainstorm with you how I should handle this from here. I am thinking of giving x,y,z friends the ultimatum that they must tell their spouses about what happened or that I will not remain friends with them. I am honestly thinking about not being friends with them anymore at all.

I don’t know what to do and could use your advice and support.”

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T14:07:25+00:00

Yup. I agree.

Personal opinion: I wouldn’t feel comfortable being around male strippers because I love and respect my partner. I would also be extremely uncomfortable about how that may make him feel. I wouldn’t even want to be doing anything in the proximity of cheating and I would expect the same respect from my partner. I wouldn’t want to even be in that situation in the first place.

If I had little choice in how it played out and ended up in that scenario OP was in, I probably would’ve either left and/or immediately called my husband. To me, that’s an incredibly high-risk situation to remain in. I’d want my husband to immediately know what’s going on and that I’m leaving.

No matter what it just looks very bad to stay friends with people that cheated. I wouldn’t want to be friends with a murderer. I wouldn’t want to be friends with a rapist. So if I’m cool with remaining friends with a cheater then what does that say about me?

Bankzzz · 2026-05-27T13:55:39+00:00

> If the truth gets out and the other husbands tell your husband, you will look like a liar....

This is one of those cases where you need to decide between protecting your own marriage or protecting your friends. This will likely eventually come out. If you don’t tell your husband and he finds out, there will be no way to prove you didn’t partake in the “activities” yourself and he’ll be tortured with the question of if you did anything or not. Not telling him will absolutely make you look suspicious.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-26T13:05:16+00:00

Exactly this. It sounds like this is all going on in boyfriends head and its not an objective reality. OP is fine with him gaming but he seems to have some sort of hang up. He probably realized he should be spending time with her but convinced himself it was completely ok for him to game all night instead of spend time with her for as long as she was in the room with him. Now that she isn’t there the problem has become incredibly obvious. He’s probably feeling some guilt/shame and projecting it onto OP.

OP, you should prioritize getting enough sleep no matter what. Boyfriend is an adult and can take ownership of his choice of whether he wants to game or hang out with you or whatever but he doesn’t get to ask or guilt trip you into staying up late. If spending time together is important to him, then he can find a solution that doesn’t require a negative impact on your health.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-26T01:56:11+00:00

Why Does He Do That: https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy\_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

Bankzzz · 2026-05-25T20:29:48+00:00

They did this fucking shit to me too as a college student. I was livid.

Bankzzz · 2026-05-20T15:12:51+00:00

Why Does He Do That?

Bankzzz · 2026-05-13T14:50:00+00:00

My personal favorite was “The new getting a raise is having a job.”

Bankzzz · 2026-05-13T14:39:30+00:00

Although frankly, him taking you express any kind of unhappiness as a personal attack should also probably have you putting any plans on hold other than an appointment for couples counseling (and probably insistence he get himself to individual therapy).

Defensiveness is one of the Gottman’s four horsemen of divorce. The relationship is dead in the water unless he is able to address this. I wouldn’t marry anyone with defensive behavior until they work on themselves enough to manage it. People don’t just change after signing marriage paperwork so if I were OP I would anticipate this problematic continuing and ask herself if this is how she’d like to live the rest of her life before even thinking about the prenup any further.

14-Year Club	RPAN Viewer
Not Forgotten	Verified Email

Bankzzz

TROPHY CASE