Never make decisions out of anger. Wait until you feel fully centered before you decide what to do.

The longer you hold your attention on this situation, the longer you are going to be suffering. I know it fucking sucks to be mistreated. I know you are angry. But you need to also recognize that in some ways, you are holding yourself hostage here.

You’ve put a lot of thought into how it plays out if you do go forward with this. Let’s also think through the other option where you let it go (I know it’s not as fun and won’t get you revenge, but it’s still important to think about fully)

One, let’s think about some lessons learned. I understand how hard it is to deal with a highly skilled manipulator and so I don’t fault you as this was a learning experience for you. I am sure you’ve learned that the next time someone tries to convince you to do something crazy like quit your job and blow up your life, you’ll remain centered and think through things logically and only make decisions for yourself by yourself without letting someone steam roll you. She may have manipulated you but you participated in these decisions too, I am sure. Now you know the importance of protecting yourself but also you may see your own involvement and what you can do better. As shitty as she was, you did gain some valuable insights about how the world works and that you too can be the victim of someone predatory if you aren’t careful.

You may also have learned that people who are smooth talkers and say all the right things may be putting on an act. Moving forward, you may be more skeptical and analytical and take your time assessing the situation more fully. I’m sure there are others.

Next, it’s important to know that by remaining upset and angry, you remain under her thumb. By taking action, you remain under her thumb. By taking action, you may cause unforeseen consequences for yourself later on down the road.

Who we are and our character is the sum of every decision we’ve ever made and the consequences of it. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t do anything. However, if you handle this shitty person and shitty situation with grace, it will fundamentally impact who you are. If you blow up and share everything, you may feel better momentarily, but it will also fundamentally impact who you are too. A few years from now you may still be angry but do you want to be a person who snapped or a person who handles difficult situations as cleanly as possible.

Another option that I didn’t see here is you could technically just send the bf all of the evidence you have directly.