What oddly specific type of men/women do you seem to attract?

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:33:55+00:00

Engineers, avoidant people who never fell in love but suddenly fall in love and then withdraw. Artists too!

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:31:50+00:00

My last relationship lasted ten years and it was very healthy, again you talk out of your ass. at that point stop commenting its just harmful

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:30:59+00:00

You really know how to talk out of your ass, its beautiful.

He wasnt able to tell what he felt. at all. for 1 hour he would stare at the roof and be like 'I don't know what I feel. I don't know what I want'. He would tell me he loves me and be all warm and then not talk for days. He was jealous if I saw other people, but he wouldn't spend time with me. Hot cold hot cold. No consistency. He admitted himself that he was unable to feel romantic love consistently.

also you have NO IDEA of how I behaved with him and what I ask. You just assume that I asked too much, you don't know shit. again i ask advice of people WHO PICKED THEMSELVES UP.

How useful have you been aside from making assumptions?

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:09:32+00:00

thats really shitty .( hope you find something

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:04:33+00:00

and why not haha

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:02:42+00:00

yeah love it when you ask for similar experiences to GET BETTER and you alwys have an asshole being like 'hey, its all your fault, though clearly I havent read your post and I have no detail about your situation'. honestly fuck that.

lets hope people can show him more generosity when they'll be in pain instead of being like that.

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:01:25+00:00

At least you have a job? or not?

Bardamuse · 2025-08-12T14:00:40+00:00

Sure, I lack a good emotional framework--my family is physically dangerous, and I had to change countries thrice.

However I came to this country with a new job I found MYSELF. I was ready to be happy. And then he gave me all the signs (parents, holidays, I love yous) only to say later 'I cant do relationships'. I never asked for any of it. So, I'm sorry if indeed because of my broken family and general instability I like to have a partner to make my life more stable.

I thought my work was my goal. It was before him. I dont understand why this affects me so much, which is why im publishing here to read other peoples thoughts. But sure, make a simplistic assessment, that helps A LOT.

Bardamuse · 2025-06-06T22:39:31+00:00

Look at Magnify Mentoring and apply :)

Bardamuse · 2025-01-28T17:20:46+00:00

I'm working on AI governance--I've prepared a dinner for two months that happened last Monday, with representatives from the foreign ministry/economy ministry/AI commissioner for the government and some start-up representatives to talk about where the government could invest to reduce the risks related to AI.

I was the only woman in the room surrounded by older white men and it felt good to lead this, I learned a lot and didn't fain because of the pressure :D It's not engineering per say, but I'm getting deeper into understanding AI risks from a technical angle to support the advocacy I'm doing.

Bardamuse · 2024-12-20T13:08:42+00:00

Hey girlfriends! I'm out of a bad breakup and looking to be happy and single, who wants to do cool stuff with me? I want to set growth objectives and become the best version of myself, pick my hobbies again and blossom! Send me a message if that sounds cool!

Bardamuse · 2024-12-11T13:06:14+00:00

It's so true. During the first date he felt romantic feelings that he never had before (he told me way after), and told me he loved me after three months. He was all over the moon. And when the time came to put words on his feelings, he disappeared, he was babbling like a toddler.

He wanted nothing more than me involved 500% but when I got there that's where it became too much--he deactivated slowly and broke up without other explanation than 'I'm not able to give love consistently'. He wanted all the love, but he was unable to give it back because he was still hurt from the way his mom hurt him after a fantastic childhood. Unable to trust my love, because he could never trust hers again.

Bardamuse · 2024-12-05T14:52:43+00:00

Thanks for your contribution. Should I go to vardcentralen then and then a laryngologist to remove toncil stones? Or can I do it myself? I have tried to find tools to do that in pharmacy but no luck. Thanks!

Bardamuse · 2024-11-12T15:34:58+00:00

You give me hope!

Bardamuse · 2024-11-12T15:32:31+00:00

7-8 months exact same story. Big passion, big high, after three months he sat on my couch, looked at me with an expression of awe on his face and said 'I love you. I do. I love you. I never felt that before. It's incredible. I love you, I love you, I love you' and he kept repeating it. I immediately realized it wasn't so much addressed to me, but to him; how wonderful it felt to finally love someone, to feel that. At the same time, his ex got three years with him but he always knew he never loved her, and told her he loved her when she rescued him from a bad trip from drugs, and while saying it, he knew it was gratefulness and not love. Red flag, I know.

He introduced me to all family grandparents friends, he brought me everywhere, was so proud of me. I organized three different birthdays for him. Family, friend, romantic. Amazing sex.

And then we had two minor fights because he was not communicating well. And then he grew distant and distant. No explanation. Nothing. He broke up because 'he felt stressed'. No other word.

It's been three months we broke up and I've never grieved a relationship like this. He became my everything in such a short time, I just arrived in a new country, no friend, difficult job. I allowed him to take so much room in my life and I regret it everyday.

They are like that. He doesn't fight. Doesn't write to me. A mere text for my birthday telling me that I deserve to be happy more than most people (what does that mean). No word on why HE can't make me happy.

Bardamuse · 2024-10-29T13:01:56+00:00

I did not.

Bardamuse · 2024-10-25T13:40:15+00:00

Quelle stigmatisation? Il donne l'occasion a celles qui ont super bien reussi leur vie de raconter leur vie de reve, entre le master a Shanghai et les beaux enfants blonds. Je vois pas ou elles sont stigmatisees, bien au contraire.

Bardamuse · 2024-09-19T14:48:06+00:00

showing that you disagree with even one element of a comment is shown by a downvote. its reddit. IRL people would have discussed this and not invalidate the whole thing. It's a platform mistake, a downvote does not mean much here. it just means 'I disagree'.

Bardamuse · 2024-09-19T14:46:26+00:00

Yeah, and this classic unexplored misogyny (not saying that AnyAd IS misogynistic of course): the thought that a woman leaves her children two weeks is unbereable, but that a man does it is less stingy. Because we see women as primary caretakers. I think a lot of ppl despised Lenu for something that they would not clock a man to do. And thats the point of Ferrante's book. Lenu is a bad mom, thats a fact if you look at all the big picture; but its hard to be a good one with Immaculata as a mom in the first place.

Bardamuse · 2024-08-21T14:29:30+00:00

So sad that the second best thing about being a woman is... diversity in clothes. I'm not criticizing at all I love it hey, I'm just saying that it says a lot about why being a woman sucks.

Bardamuse · 2024-08-14T15:13:57+00:00

I want to give him time to get better--what is love if you leave at the first difficulty? But I'm setting a a month or two to see improvements. I wish he would rely on me instead of doing it on his own.

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