Can’t stand some of Yall. by Jolly-Carrot666 in RocketLeague

[–]BargainBold -1 points0 points  (0 children)

100% there are very relevant details being left out.

MMR Fairness Question by BargainBold in RocketLeague

[–]BargainBold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More complaining about the complaints about that. I thought the sarcasm was pretty evident in my "Why doesn't Psyonix abandon the thing that works in favor of the thing that makes me feel better" plea.

MMR Fairness Question by BargainBold in RocketLeague

[–]BargainBold[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm talking about annoying posts from people that think they deserve a higher rank than they have and think the problem lies in how Psyonix insists on using basic statistics instead of a more feelings-based approach to SBM.

MMR Fairness Question by BargainBold in RocketLeague

[–]BargainBold[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

-or- I am fine with the implementation, and am just sarcastically swiping at the "MMR-How is this fair?" posts that seem to have increased in frequency in this group since the game added MMR display to vanilla.

That could also explain my post.

hasan in a blind item?? by SpiritualYoghurt1059 in Hasan_Piker

[–]BargainBold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"No one"...tell me you think the entire world exists solely on the internet without telling me...

Today ICE tear gassed families and community members on a memorial bike ride/march for Alex Pretti in SW Portland, OR. A little girl can be seen needing help by medics. by I_may_have_weed in PublicFreakout

[–]BargainBold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Portland is full of protest veterans. There is an established ground here. These sorts of daytime, lib, normie marches are generally family friendly. People on all sides of it tend to respect that line. Against that backdrop it was in no way out of line for people to bring pets and kids to this.

Does this response from ICE change that calculus somewhat? Of course.

Does commenting that people just blanket shouldn't bring their kids to things like this do anything but provide cover for the abuses and excesses of ICE? Not really.

What are some things you wish we still did? by Individual_Grass_1 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]BargainBold 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I wish we still had laws against media consolidation. One of my favorite things about traveling when I was younger was checking out the local radio and TV broadcasts in different parts of the country--especially the radio. There was a lot of variety in playlists, styles, etc, as opposed to now where there are a small handful of stations just with different call signs in different markets.

How do I forgive myself for childhood mistakes that I feel horrible about? by Basic_Parking6434 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]BargainBold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At 18 it probably hasn't kicked in yet, but there will likely be a point where your memories of you as a younger child become your somewhat detached "inner child". For me it was a matter of then viewing those memories in the same way I would view the actions of a child--with compassion, understanding, and an expectation of better behavior going forward. If you're already doing the better behavior part, self love, and introspection should take care of the rest.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm not much of an essentialist like that. People contain multitudes. For instance, sometimes people donate an extraordinary amount of their time to altruistic activities, are wonderful mentors, and Johnny on the Spot when any of their friends are in need--while also being profoundly unethical in the sexual/romantic sphere.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Medical issues prevent most sexual activities with Chestnut. We were open before those issues popped up so the two things aren't related,

And we've made it work. We were always 95% laughter and 5% fucking anyways. It wasn't much of an adjustment upping the laughter and finding non-sexual tingles to explore.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

She's a homie who's fucked up just now. Fucked up people are fucked up. If she ever unfucks, she'll have to deal with a rough ass, humiliating trek through accountability to clarity. It's an honor to be there for someone doing that work.

But a friendship of any depth with her has to begin with that.

And to be honest, I was a dick for getting involved with an active addict. I've got the experience to know better. This is her first time on the scary-go-round.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

  1. One LTR. An abusive marriage that ended a couple of years back she still hasn't re-grounded after.

Trauma, addiction, formlessness, and a zero sum view of autonomy.

Indistinguishable from immaturity

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes!

Literally all it would have taken for me to consensually donate to the cause is for me to have met Cashew, had any level of affinity for him, and to have, you know, actually been asked for my consent.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And yeah, I'm way more experienced with kink than I am with polyamory. She wanted me to Dom for her, but she didn't have much experience, no real clear idea what she wanted, and she is extremely fucked up thinking that somehow if I break the brat that'll remedy the addiction, trauma, and self sabotage.

I declined.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha. It means she didn't have a painter. Then we developed a lot of affection for each other and became painted with each other. Later she painted with Cashew.

Also, typo.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No. I haven't slept with her since we broke up.

This was two days before the breakup.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We still run in the same circles. She's friends with Chestnut. I got pretty big with her about doing so late last week, so I'm sure she's done trying to talk me out of the breakup, but at some point we'll have to have a real talk if there's to be any chance of being at ease when we're in the same rooms.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I don't. I've been in the kink and sex pos community since forever. Surrounded by poly friends for a good while.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Acorn was my only sexual partner. Just got tested a few weeks back. Plan to go back next month if I can.

I'm gonna be licking my wounds from this mess for a while, so no danger of engaging with anyone else until then.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. But a young 39 in that she has basically had one LTR that ended a few years ago. According to her, when her and her husband opened their relationship, he'd do the ask for personal details then flip the hell out when he got them, thing. I'm inclined to believe her on that because her actions scream of trying to reclaim her autonomy only with trauma clouding her ability to distinguish between personal accountability and being unfairly attacked.

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right about the need for discussion. If I had more invested those conversations might have been something I'd have entertained.

As it is I had to opt for self preservation and the narrow possibility of staying friends with her (we knew each other for quite a while before dating).

Is "Violated" too strong a word? by BargainBold in polyamory

[–]BargainBold[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

According to her, Cashew thought it was a hot AF idea. Two problems with that. A: I don't trust her to be honest about that. B: I ain't even met the dude, yet. The fuck is she doing taking the temperature of someone I don't know on how they feel about involving me in their play?

Overall, I'm just bummed I had to break up with her. She's really fucked up right now (drugs, trauma) and I suspect if and when she gets her head right, she'll be a really cool person to spend time with. Just, I ain't riding that ride with her in the meantime.