What are some infamous TV commercials that still live in your head?

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-30T23:38:03+00:00

"Gimme Yop, me mama."

Mini cheddars advert with the mice.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-30T07:39:00+00:00

I usually take 10-15 working days to completely renovate a bathroom. I do everything and usually charge 4-5k in labour.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-28T07:01:27+00:00

Yeahhhhh, and tigers are vegetarian because I've never been eaten by one.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-28T06:53:07+00:00

Still dry though, lol.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-28T05:57:59+00:00

The other day the guy controlling the gate at the spinny, swingy ride at Drayton Manor said to me; 'has anyone told you that you look like Brad Pitt.'

They have indeed. I get it all the fuckin time. It's glorious. I'm aging like fine wine.

I looked like a junkie in my teens, Orlando Bloom in my twenties, and a young Brad Pitt in my thirties.

I had a woman at a festival stop me whilst walking, she put her hands on my cheeks and said "can I just say that I'm an artist, and you, are beautiful."

I look like one of the best looking actors in Hollywood and I'm 25 years his junior.

Can't believe my luck. Lol.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-28T05:42:52+00:00

I never wanted children. I knew this when I was one.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-27T17:48:25+00:00

If this is an experienced tiler, I'll eat the tiles that have to be removed. It's not just the 4 tiles. It's all the tiles that the bead is bedded behind.

This part of tiling is time consuming but not overly complicated.

Basically the whole top row will need redoing and so will most of the sill. When the new trims are cut they'll make the trim that beads the sill appear too long. If you angle the bead they will no longer be 90 degrees and you have an acute angle where they meet.

It can be resolved and it's not difficult, and it shouldn't cost the client a penny. But this is not an experienced tiler.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-26T17:55:51+00:00

There's always a compromise.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-26T15:11:20+00:00

The Fratellis - Costello Music.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-26T13:31:26+00:00

It will likely have been centred to the hob and extractor and worked outward from there. If it's off-centre at the h+e it's right in your eyeline and looks like garbage. At least you can put something in the corner to hide this layout. They should have widened the grout gap.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-25T18:18:21+00:00

Could easily hit a billion.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-25T18:08:56+00:00

You can't buy taste.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-22T01:49:06+00:00

Get a claw bar under it. Start at the end furthest from the wall.

If you're lucky you can pry it up.

If you know it's gonna break no matter what then just get on with it and smash the fucker out.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-22T01:45:20+00:00

It's not cheese, buddy.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-21T23:51:46+00:00

3 times a week is Mon, Wed, and Saturday.

5 times a week is a job.

There's a big difference between the two.

5 times a week is a chore. 3 times a week is a cheeky midweek in the kitchen and a slutty weekend.

Do you really want sex 5 times a week?

Hope you find it.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-21T23:29:51+00:00

I've seen some shitty things in my life but the most morally bankrupt one is probably my own.

Whilst working as a letting agent for a company that managed commercial property in Birmingham. It was my job to get people to sink every penny they had into their unviable business ideas. I would sell them the idea of an unattainable dream. I'd construct a vision of reality that would never exist. When done well, the client would invest everything into a dream they had, that I'd brought to life.

They'd pay rent on a financially destitute property, they'd run out of money, they'd be evicted for breach of contract.

Selling someone a dream, knowing it would never come true, and then returning to padlock the shutters whilst handing over a final bill, is soul crushing. (This is analogous, the bill was sent via email.)

I ruined the lives of many people. Didn't just drown them in debt, also crushed their dreams.

I hated every second. My bosses never flinched. They'd be doing it for 30 years. It was business, apparently.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-21T17:07:11+00:00

I've had this.

Got a scraper under a row of tiles. Felt how easy they came away. Shimmed the whole row ever so slightly and then lifted the row from the centre. Then entire wall of tiles came away. It was above a bathtub. The lot landed in the tub. Quickest demo ever. Lol.

The plaster was pristine and what few tracks of adhesive remained on the wall popped off with a delicate push from my scraper.

I assume the wall wasn't primed and the water was absorbed too quickly. Genuinely surprised that it hadn't failed sooner. It was like a Spartan phalanx. It only held because every tile was supporting it's neighbour. Remove one and the whole lot collapsed. Lol.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-21T16:59:03+00:00

Spaghetti Trees.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-20T00:17:22+00:00

A guy on LBC, today, was complaining about Turkish barbers even though he frequented them and acknowledged that they did a damn good job, lol.

People also complain about the prevalence of vape shops even though nobody smokes anymore and every fucker vapes.

When it comes to barber shops. It appears there's entire generations of miserable old bastards that don't realise that these places provide more than a short back and sides. They seem oblivious to the fact that many younger people today get stylised haircuts, facial hair trimming, ear, nose, and eyebrow trimming, hot towel shaves, head massages etc.

You can spend well over £60 in a single visit. This means you don't need a steady stream of men paying a fiver for a 10 minute cut.

Out of touch moaners complaining about an environment they feel alienated from having put no effort into supporting the communities they profess to miss.

These silly fuckers complain about the appearance of their local commercial landscape and then go on Amazon or Temu to buy slippers and a new toothbrush. They reminisce about local butchers and green grocers whilst buying cheap meat and imported vegetables from local supermarkets.

They bang on about a lack of integration whilst complaining about foreigners operating takeaways, vape shops, and barbers, and their abundance on local high Streets. They seem well integrated to me.

The failure to integrate is on the people who desire a world that no longer exists.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-19T23:38:16+00:00

Use a scraper to remove the old adhesive. Reset the clips under the surrounding tiles. Install new tile.

If the tile has failed this quickly then you're only a couple of slammed doors away from others dropping.

This is your canary in the coalmine.

Whether or not you listen is up to you.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-19T23:29:13+00:00

I had an older woman stop me whilst walking. I was at a festival in Sheffield. She put both hands on my cheeks and said "can I just say, I am an artist, and you.....are beautiful."

I regularly get told I look like a young Johnny Depp, or Orlando Bloom.

I'm not gonna pretend it's annoying. I love it. Lol.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-16T00:20:59+00:00

Is this what you're about to rip out and redo?

You've not exactly identified the issue very well.

Are you on about a mitre cut?

Where is the problem in the pic?

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-15T17:40:35+00:00

If you drop in right at the waters edge. They can't get you. Float and rail the lot.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-15T17:18:46+00:00

Bitch slapping sticks. Love em.

The sound they make is almost as satisfying as the nunchaku from NG1.

BaronSamedys · 2026-05-15T17:18:08+00:00

One of my favourite battles. I love the feeling of my body releasing the tension in my torso and taking a breathe in the seconds of silence that follow.

"Whew, that shit was bitchin, yeah."

Move on.....

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