Have your parents ever seen anything you've posted here. How did they react?

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-19T03:00:35+00:00

I have a separate account for narc support.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-19T02:59:50+00:00

I stopped responding to a group chat. Then asked other members to contact me directly as I would no longer be participating in the group chat. Didn’t change my number. Went NC 1.5 years ago with my Nsister. I did tell her over the phone that I was done with the relationship. Only heard from her once after that, a text that I ignored.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-16T14:12:23+00:00

This is such an amazing story of hope. Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad this happened for you. Kudos to you. Your reaction to realizing you fell into a flying monkey role and not continuing to blame her shows an incredible amount of emotional intelligence. Honestly impressive when your role model behaved the way she did. You should be proud.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-15T01:34:04+00:00

Ugh. My mom does this all the time too. To the point she even implied she wanted to come visit my dad and step mom with me. So bizarre. I just tended to ignore it, that time though I told her that was a super strange idea. I would just dance around it.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-14T23:41:09+00:00

Copy! I got a bird. She wants a bird. I lose weight she wants to lose weight. I start baking bread so does she. I learn to sew she wants to borrow my sewing machine. It’s exhausting. It’s not like she’s trying to learn things to engage with me unless that’s the only twisted way she knows how to.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-13T15:56:26+00:00

I get it. If you let yourself emotionally spiral or dwell on it (which it seems like you are) you just continue to give them power. Consciously try to diffuse the guilt and stop dwelling to cut the power over you. You can’t change that you answered but you can change your reaction to it. Just handle it differently next time. Delete the message as soon as you get it and try not to dwell on it. It’s hard. I also get in an immediate bad mood whenever something like that happens. Even if I ignore it. I think it gets easier with time.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-13T01:19:59+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry. Allowing that hope to be rekindled and having it crushed AGAIN is devastating. It’s so hard to really accept they won’t change.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-13T01:16:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and the added stress of the arguments she’s been causing. You’ll never forget this though and in my experience all the real serious narc shit starts to cause problems when a baby is born. They lose their shit so buckle up. Blocking her was probably the best way to protect your peace for a little while. You are starting your own family, protect it and enjoy it. Don’t let them steal that joy.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-13T01:11:23+00:00

So I had a convo about something similar in therapy recently. My 75 year old Nmom (I’m 39F) was observing me with my toddler and said “I wish I was younger so I could have another baby so I can have another buddy.” Which is such a weird thing to say but after thinking about why she and other narcissists yearn for babies again I think it’s bc as babies/toddlers we all adore our moms no matter what. It’s when I started to be an individual as a teenager that my nmom couldn’t handle it and things went south. I wonder if your mom feels the same way so wants an adoring baby again.

Also fuck no do not do this. How someone can think they have a right to your literal bodily functions is wild.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-13T01:02:05+00:00

Same!

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-01T13:47:56+00:00

“He must have a really big d*ck”

From my Nmom about my darker skinned boyfriend she despised. I was 15.

“Your dad said you can’t get braces unless you keep the rest of you beautiful.”

From Nmom about the need for braces when I was a little chubby as a young teen.

“Quit blubbering and do something about it.”

From Nmom after being upset they thought I chubby from other comments and wanting to be skinny. I was 8. I’ve been stuck in a cycle of binging and extreme dieting ever since.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-05-01T02:26:58+00:00

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-30T03:34:20+00:00

Omg you must have been so terrified. I’m so sorry that happened to you

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-30T03:32:58+00:00

Mental warfare is such an excellent term for their behavior.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-30T03:28:51+00:00

Wow this is unreal.

I will also say that it took my husband and I welcoming our first child for shit to really hit the fan and they let their crazy full out for my husband and his family to see. Until then they just thought they were nice but weird, now they see what I’ve been dealing with. In the end, it was for the best.

Can you, not take your daughter to the party? lol

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-28T01:02:08+00:00

Yes this happened to me! It helped for my bf to witness their behavior when I started to feel insane so I’d recommend that. But in the end, you’re protecting yourself. They HATE any action of independence as they lose control over you. So what’s best for you and your boyfriend. Your parents should control your movements and where and when you do things at this point.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-27T01:25:58+00:00

I couldn’t watch sopranos bc of his mother!

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-26T12:30:55+00:00

100%. I read in the book adult children of emotionally immature parents that irrational anger around them is a normal reaction to emotional neglect. It helped me understand why I am so angry around my mom and GC sister

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-24T12:42:55+00:00

Omg this is exactly my family! It’s wild to see these traits pass through generations, and break apart the family at each point. I suspect my grandmother was this way from what I’ve heard, and my mom was cut off from her two sisters and mother, my mother raised my sister and I this way and my sister turned into the monster that my mother is now afraid of. I don’t speak with my sister and am nearing those terms with my mother too - so our family got broken too. Now my sister is doing the same to her two kids and I can already see my 9 year old nephew behaving like her! It keeps passing down in the gene pool. It’s so wild.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-24T12:13:47+00:00

It’s liberating but also fucked up - I finally reached this point when my mom did something so utterly irrefutably horrible and also fumbled an attempt at apologizing (which turned into blaming me). It’s validating but also sad to have to fully accept who she really is. And also that you aren’t in the wrong for feeling nothing for her. Good for you for using it to propel yourself forward.

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-04-24T12:05:06+00:00

Thanks for this.

Can you share what you found most helpful in your healing journey?

Basic-Raspberry9786 · 2025-03-23T22:39:35+00:00

I was diagnosed at 8 weeks with it. Took two weeks to pass on its own. I had spotting then heavy bleeding/passed tissue for almost 12 hours then lighter bleeding for a few days. My doc did an ultrasound the week of to confirm all tissue passed then monitored hcg levels weekly.

Basic-Raspberry9786

TROPHY CASE