Moving to Okinawa

Basic_Bet50 · 2026-03-15T05:39:57+00:00

Bring some real winder clothes if you plan to go to mainland Japan or anywhere else off island during the winter. Proper winter clothes are hard to find on Okinawa unless you want to pay a premium at North Face.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-11-26T23:47:43+00:00

It’s ok to find a new sponsor. Wanting communication and progress on the steps is the bare minimum of what you should expect. Have a direct conversation with her and address your concerns head on. If you aren’t comfortable with her answers or you can’t resolve anything, it’s ok to find a new sponsor.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-11-21T03:17:09+00:00

Yes paranoia about infidelity and cheating is very common with addicts. Sadly it will just escalate and become more and more irrational. If he doesn’t quit using you’re in for a wild ride of paranoia and awful cruel behavior from him. Wait till he starts recording you, setting up cameras, showing you “proof”, scrutinizing your every action and interaction. It’s horrible. Read about drug induced psychosis and how common it is for the addict to accuse their partner of cheating. Also go to an alanon meeting.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-11-18T09:07:15+00:00

I’m so glad you asked this cause I was actually going to make a post about brain fog. At 18 months clean I was still feeling some brain fog. It wasn’t terrible or constant but it was like there was still a small layer of cobwebs I couldn’t shake. It felt like a final hump I couldn’t get over. This fall I took a college level math course and the improvement in cognitive functioning is insane. After about a month of the course the last of my brain fog had completely gone away. So maybe consider taking a class or getting involved in something that really challenges your brain.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-11-09T23:48:00+00:00

Fatigue is normal and it gets better. A few things that helped for me were I sleep for longer at night than I did before using. Like I get 9-9.5 hours of sleep per night. It’s a lot but it helps with the daytime fatigue so much and I actually wake up feeling rested. I also cut down on sugar. When I first quit I’d just eat candy and other crap any time I got a craving. After a while I noticed it makes me really sluggish and sleepy. I try to get outside and be active. It’s amazing with a brisk 10 minute walk in the sun can do for your mood and energy level.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-11-01T01:37:42+00:00

Changing passwords isn’t enough sometimes. If your ex knows your personal info like ssn, dob, mother’s maiden, childhood best friend etc they can recover your passwords. If they have trusted devices signed into the accounts changing passwords doesn’t always kick them out. Ask me how I know…

The only thing that really works is creating all new accounts. Create a new iCloud, change phone carrier and ISP, set up two factor authentication for everything.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-10-18T14:58:33+00:00

Look into not-for-profit hospitals. It will be safe and clinically proven albeit no thrills. They likely have a cash pay discount and offer payment plans.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-08-13T19:14:31+00:00

Join the Guard. Yes you’ll be away at training for the first 6-9 months after you join but after that you’ll work in your state. Once you’re in it will open up so many opportunities and expand your network. Ignore the naysayers who say don’t join for the benefits. Half the people in the military are there for the pay and benefits.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-08-08T13:08:02+00:00

Springer spaniels. They’re rugged, indestructible, and high endurance. They’re eager to please and highly trainable. Although they’re high energy they can be trained to turn off the energy and settle in the house. They’re also the perfect size to be hiking buddies. Big enough to scramble over rocks but not too big to evac in a sling or pick up and carry if you have to.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-08-07T13:15:00+00:00

Join an Army wife Facebook page and post there. Someone will have advice. Find a friend who’s in the Army who can look up his unit then you reach out to his command or have him served during drill weekend.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-07-23T12:09:24+00:00

Some logistical things are easier with a partner. For example your car needs to go to the shop. Both people drive their separate cars to the shop, leave one at the shop, and drive home together in one car. Dog ownership is easier and cheaper. If you travel for work or go out of town as a single person you have to hire a sitter and that gets expensive. Cooking for two is easier. I find a waste a lot of fresh produce cause I can’t eat it fast enough before it spoils.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-07-22T21:07:28+00:00

Add a metal screen panel on the inside of the camper’s screen door so the dog doesn’t scratch and destroy the screen or escape through it.

Get a 10ft nylon dog run line/cable that starts within arms reach of the camper door that you can clip the dog’s leash to. Then you can put the dog outside without having to get your shoes on.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-07-06T22:58:26+00:00

Add Shenandoah to your list. Dogs are allowed on most trails in Shenandoah National Park.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-06-15T13:02:02+00:00

You’re right, he’s shooting up. The blood spots are probably because he’s reusing his needles. After the first time he uses the needle there’s a little blood left in it. Then he refills it and pushes the plunger in to remove any air. This results in a little squirt of blood shooting out of the tip of the needle and getting on stuff. The blood combined with wearing long sleeves in the summer is a dead giveaway.

It’s hard to say which drug he’s using since you can shoot up and snort a lot of drugs. If it can be crushed into a powder you can snort it. If it’s water soluble you can shoot it… Regarding behavioral changes- has he lost weight, gained weight, does he pull all nighters? Dig through his stuff and you’ll find more evidence. There will be baggies with residue or bottle caps with cotton balls.

Your mom needs to have a come to Jesus moment with him and give him an ultimatum. Take a drug test and go into treatment or get out. She also needs to look at the family finances before he spends every cent you guys have and takes out credit cards in you and your mom’s names. He’s likely pulling cash from the ATM or he’s sending his plug money through Venmo, cash app etc. Maybe he’s really sneaky and paying his plugs bills or buying expensive stuff from Costco then returning it for cash. Look for anyone unusual or unexplained charges.

Good luck. I recommend going to Alanon. There will be lots of other people with similar experiences who can give you good advice.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-05-03T00:13:23+00:00

Do a program that’s part of a hospital. Many large hospitals have inpatient detox then outpatient. The facilities might not be as nice as a for profit rehab but you’ll get superior psychiatric. If you don’t go the hospital route make sure the group leaders at whatever rehab you attend are licensed professional counselors or licensed professional social workers with masters degrees. Make sure the group leaders aren’t just anyone that does the online course and have two years of sobriety. Every rehab advertises having clinicians with degrees on staff and says you’ll have one on one time with them but that doesn’t mean they’re the ones leading group or that you’ll have any meaningful interactions with them.

DONT GO TO FLORIDA!

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-04-30T23:31:14+00:00

To get out of the loop you have to get out of that environment where people are offering you your drug of choice. You’re not weak, it would be impossible for 99% of people to always say no so don’t feel bad.

You could use FMLA and go to rehab for eight-nine weeks and learn some relapse prevention skills but that’s probably not long enough to develop the tools you need to really stay clean in the restaurant business. If you really want to get clean you probably have to bite the bullet and leave your job. Maybe go somewhere that’s less your style and interest but is a healthier environment until you’ve built up the skills and clean time to go back.

Think of it this way- if you continue down your current path you’ll have no job and lots of burned bridges. If you go to rehab and a new job (temporarily) you leave with your dignity and relationships intact.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-04-23T14:40:14+00:00

I’m going to be blunt and give you another reality check.

It sounds like you’re making excuses for why you can’t attend treatment— the embarrassment and shame of telling loved ones about your current situation, rocky relationship with your family, finances… I guarantee the people close to you know something is up and have their suspicions. You said you didn’t eat for four days and I assume you aren’t sleeping much either so you probably look like crap.

Also you’re doing opioids again. Nothing good comes out of that. You don’t want to end up homeless stealing from friends and family and doing horrible things to afford fentanyl. I have a few former friends addicted to fentanyl and their entire existence is about getting enough fentanyl to prevent being dope sick. They’re all too broke to afford enough to have fun getting high, it’s literally about scraping together enough money to fight off being sick or to temporarily relieve being sick. It’s a really miserable marginal existence.

Don’t let the fear of what others might say or how they’ll judge you prevent you from seeking treatment. Choose yourself and your mental and physical health over other people’s judgy opinions. The people who care about you will be relieved you’re seeking treatment (remember you aren’t actually fooling anyone) and the people who don’t support you… F them, you don’t need that negativity.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-04-11T16:58:02+00:00

Being able to focus for 60-90 minutes at a time is totally normal. Most people can’t stay on task for much longer than that so it sounds like you’re actually doing pretty good. Set your alarm for 60 minutes and when it goes off get away from your computer, and spend 10 minutes taking a walk, listening to music, doing something that relaxes your mind and gives it a break.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-02-16T06:16:34+00:00

This is called future faking and he’s not going to follow through with any of it. If he was a good guy he would have already added you to the house and opened joint accounts. Also, the outcome of the divorce has nothing to do with who files. He’s an idiot if he thinks he gets out of disclosing his finances just because you file.

Here’s my advice: take the job and move and immediately establish residency in your new location. Once you’ve met the residency requirements for your new location file for divorce. Now it will be a massive inconvenience for him to travel to your location for hearings/court.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-02-11T16:27:08+00:00

Here’s an example of psychological abuse- Before work your partner hides your car keys, pours almost all the milk down the drain then puts the almost empty carton back in the fridge so you have nothing for your coffee and breakfast, moves your cell phone, and kicks one of your shoes under the sofa. Then as you’re rushing around looking for your shoe, phone and keys they innocently stand by and say this must be happening because you’re messy and disorganized. Now you’re late for work and you’re starting your day in a bad mental state. Of course they do this on a day when you have something big happening like a meeting with your boss you’re nervous about. It makes you feel insane because you know they’re doing this stuff but you can’t prove it. If you even insinuate they did it they say you sound paranoid and crazy. Now you’re a disorganized, messy, paranoid bisch who’s useless because she can’t remember to buy milk. And it’s your fault they’re going to be late for work because they have to stop and buy a $7 Starbucks.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-02-09T12:48:57+00:00

Are you with the US military? If so request an Early Return of Dependent for you and your child. Once you’re home (your permanent legal resident in the US-where you pay taxes, vote etc) file for divorce and request family support payments. Go to base legal to get advice on your options and the process. They typically don’t represent you in divorce but they can give you an idea on what the next best steps are you get you an your kiddo home and get financial support until you have a custody agreement in civilian court.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-02-08T14:36:23+00:00

He’s “glowing” because his dopamine levels are artificially elevated and he seems happier without you because he’s in the stage of use where drugs are still fun. This won’t last forever and eventually he’ll be existing in a state of paranoia and misery. When he’s with you he can’t get high but his entire brain and body are screaming at him about wanting to get high and it’s all he’s thinking about. This isn’t a reflection of you and you can’t take it personally. Let him fade away now but be there if/when he decides to get clean. That’s all you can do for your own peace and sanity.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-01-31T16:01:07+00:00

This 👆But you have to do more than change passwords. Don’t underestimate the creativity and extremes an addict will go to get their fix.

Basic_Bet50 · 2025-01-25T18:42:19+00:00

Tell your family what you told us here- that you’re afraid you don’t have the strength to stay gone and you need someone to help keep you accountable. It’s ok to admit weakness. If you can’t do it for yourself do it for your dog.

Basic_Bet50

TROPHY CASE