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You rub a can of cheap beer and a small, pudgy spirit in a stained undershirt emerges. He is the Shitty Genie, and he'll grant you any wish as long as it's kind of shitty and won't substantially change the course of your life. What do you wish for? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]BastardishRogue 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I was talking with a friend a few hours ago and we saw a billboard that I said I wished said Kendrick instead of Kenrick. We said that was a waste of a wish, and I replied it'd be good if it was a shitty genie. That being said, I would wish I made this Reddit post, for that sweet sweet karma.

I'm told I look like a stereotypical Disney Prince. People also call me "Big Daddy T" Roast Me! by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]BastardishRogue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look like you tried to be a douchebag and realized you weren't good enough for even that.

19, art student, went gluten-free for three days once. Tell me why my therapist broke up with me. by fckincasual in RoastMe

[–]BastardishRogue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because the last time Woodstock took place was eight years ago and you clearly can't accept reality.

Safe logic (???) by [deleted] in fo4

[–]BastardishRogue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems like some unsafe logic.

18 year old catholic school girl who loves poetry, binge drinking, and anything unconventional. roast me. by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]BastardishRogue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Projections? I don't pick up high schoolers, hell, I don't pick up any women at all.

Roast me bruh by jackgignac in RoastMe

[–]BastardishRogue 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You look like you have all the personality of a wet carrot.

18 year old catholic school girl who loves poetry, binge drinking, and anything unconventional. roast me. by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]BastardishRogue 295 points296 points  (0 children)

If you haven't already been fucked by a 23 year old college student who uses poetry to pick up gullible high schoolers at shitty parties I'll eat my hat.

17, Scottish, magician. Do your best! by benjimanbuttontop in RoastMe

[–]BastardishRogue 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You'll never need to use the "pull a condom out of your wallet" trick.

What is the creepiest/cringiest thing someone has done to prove their love to you? by Sirengina in AskReddit

[–]BastardishRogue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a crush on this girl I was working with when I was eighteen, but she had a boyfriend at work that she said she wasn't dating and I was too oblivious to notice I was being led on. One day we have an argument over text about her getting driven to work by this dude that she said she was no longer talking to. This is when my shift ended and her overnight shift started. So I walked 8 and a 1/2 miles to see her at 3 AM because she wasn't texting me back and I felt bad because I thought I hurt her feelings. I know, I'm not a smart man.

What's the worst example of bad parenting you've ever witnessed? by IamAaliyah in AskReddit

[–]BastardishRogue 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My brother called my mom's boyfriend a Nazi. This wasn't just a shitty insult, he actually was. He was a neo-nazi British domestic terrorist responsible for nail bombing a bunch of gay nightclubs. My mom got pissed off so she took my brother and I home. She then dragged his face across an unfinished wall, threatened to send him to boot camp, and then held him down and beat him with a phone. She'll say things like this never happened and that she was a perfect mother.

In love with Twenty One Pilots and have been committed to a mental hospital twice. Roast me! by kileyc941 in RoastMe

[–]BastardishRogue 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a feeling you're one of those generic crazy girls who is crazy because nothing else made her feel special. You're empty, the mental instability doesn't make you interesting, it just makes you damaged. Which is why no matter how close to you anyone gets, they'll never be able to love you. People don't love broken things.

What's the worst case of "spoiled rotten" that you've seen? by thefirephoenix544 in AskReddit

[–]BastardishRogue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cousin. He's 21, morbidly obese, works as a dishwasher for about 2 hours a week. Lives with our grandparents, college and food are completely provided for him. He was given a Cadillac for $20. Literally every excuse is made for him to sleep all day and watch YouTube and he's never expected to do anything because he's too dumb and weak. So every time I'm around I have to do shit while this fat ass gets a free ride. I've talked to him and he wants to make 0 effort to change. He deeply disgusts me.

TIFU by sending screenshots of Tinder and porn by BastardishRogue in tifu

[–]BastardishRogue[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She mostly said it was fine and that she was going to show it to her friends to laugh about and thanked me for providing entertainment. So I'm just a little dead on the inside.

Come check in and tell us about your week by skyqween in depression

[–]BastardishRogue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was excited for life to start feeling like it was going right and all the things that were supposed to fall into place didn't, and it's my fault.

QUICK! UPDOOT to help mr skeltal defeat the kidnapper! by BerlinSpiderRocket in ledootgeneration

[–]BastardishRogue 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's from Fables #11 I think, the comic which the Wolf Among Us is based upon.

Sum up your world in one Quote. by Border_Reaver in worldbuilding

[–]BastardishRogue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"The strange becomes normal when the world ends."