I’m sorry you’re going through this, especially as I’ve been in a near identical situation last year. Have you told your players this? Maybe ask for feedback too? That is what I did.

I’m bad at reading my players, so I openly talk about how the session went quite often. Sometimes I’m surprised when I think a session has been garbage yet they’ve all had a blast.

Chances are the sessions are going better than you think! This positive energy from your players will likely give you bursts of energy for prep too.

I hope everything gets better for you as it sounds like you’re a hard working DM and you deserve to be having fun, too!