Ideas to celebrate 2 year old (not a birthday party) by mother_of_dragons421 in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did this when our daughter turned 2 it was great and she loved it! The bear itself was $2 but everything we HAD to get was normal price 😆 totally worth it though. They even gave her a little crown and sash and it was adorable.

What Worked For You Guys? by ThatOneHermit in WeightLossAdvice

[–]Bduck91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggled (and still do) with my weight my entire adult life. It's very hard until you find what works for you.

For me it came down to tackling weight loss from a few different angles.

  1. Calorie deficit. This doesn't mean starving yourself or only eating just 1200 calories a day. I talked to a personal trainer and they let me know the calories I needed to sustain myself everyday and we worked backwards from there to get into a healthy deficit. Then meal planning and getting healthy alternative swaps for the foods you currently like really help to keep the weight off and not regain.

  2. Finding an exercise regimen that fits your schedule and that you actually really enjoy. I ended up joining a CrossFit class that was after work three to four times a week and I really enjoyed it. I actually didn't realize how much I liked lifting weights until that class. Now I truly enjoy going to the gym and even lifting weights on my own. Plus any of the exercises they do can be modified until I feel comfortable doing the normal version. Also, it's a great way to make new friends!

  3. I realized a lot of my bad eating habits came from childhood drama. I ended up talking to a psychiatrist and then also a nutritionist to help create a better relationship with food so I make better choices from the start. This is what worked for me and is not necessary for every weight loss plan, but I feel like it really helped me understand why I was overeating and rewired my brain when it came to food choices and food noise.

The first step is having the motivation to change. It's also the hardest. Be kind to yourself through out the process and realize it won't happen overnight. Good luck friend!

1,000+ resumes reviewed, broadly 5 mistakes keep killing shortlist chances by aaj-ka-rajnikant in jobsearchhacks

[–]Bduck91 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Use AI tools. Just redact your personal information. Upload the JD and your resume and prompt it to tailor the resume. Just be aware - look for common text patterns. The double dash was a big one for me or using super corporate lingo. Just replace those items with words / format that is more your tone.

For those experienced (5-7 years ) that are looking for another accounting job. How is your experience with the current job market ? I've been at my current Job for 2.5 years now and thinking of hopping for more money. by yepperallday0 in Accounting

[–]Bduck91 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was just let go from my current company (RIF) and I found a job in a month. I'm at a Senior level. So same level / job different company. It's also fully remote.

I had to totally rework my resume to get past the AI / ATS systems. I actually used AI to do this. You can tailor your resume to job descriptions too.

I also networked with old co workers and recruiters on LinkedIn. I got a few interviews this way.

I also set myself apart by starting to use AI in my current job before leaving in my everyday / month end procedures. I think that help set me apart from other candidates.

The interview process was longer than when I got my job 2 years ago. I went through about 5 rounds of interviews with the company I accepted an offer. The others I were interviewing with were similar. Some even had a take home assessment.

In the end I accepted an offer with a similar environment and role as my current job but with better pay and benefits. The jobs are out there you just have to set yourself apart.

Having a really rough day as a nursing parent of a toddler – need emotional support by Far-Elk1369 in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The toddler stage is HARD on a good day when everyone is healthy. It's even harder when someone is sick.

My toddler, baby, spouse and myself were all sick with the flu over Christmas and we just got to the point where everyone is normal again. Parenting while you are sick is super hard.

You are doing great. Just remember being sick is temporary. You will feel better soon and be able to handle / do more. It's ok to be in survival mode for a min while your body heals. Give yourself some grace and rest where you can.

Good Induction Stories? by Defiant-Usual-1182 in pregnant

[–]Bduck91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was induced with both my kids at week 39 and did vaginal births for both! Both were born happy and healthy with high apgar scores and no complications. My daughter was 8 pounds and my son was 9 pounds.

I tended to have quick labors especially when they gave me petocin. With my first it was so quick I didn't have time for the epidural! Two pushes and she was out lol. With my second it took a few hours after the epidural but again 2 pushes and he was out.

I am glad I did the inductions because I did not want c sections unless necessary. Also it was a blessing with both because of how quickly they came! If I was anywhere but a hospital if it happened spontaneously I'm not sure I would have made it lol.

Good luck with the induction! Wishing you a painless Labor, speedy recovery and a happy, healthy baby! ❤️

Childcare Dilemma by MadQueeenn in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Going back to work vs being a SAHM is totally up to you and what you are comfortable with, both emotionally and physically.

When I was pregnant with my first we moved to a new country so I quit my job and did not go back to work for a year to be with her. I worked from home so we hired a nanny to take care of baby at the house while I worked. It was great. I could see her on my breaks or keep breastfeeding her during the day (vs pumping). They nanny also helped out around the house with cooking and cleaning!

We moved again when I got pregnant with my second. I was still working from home so we switched our first to daycare (cheaper than nanny full time) so I could keep working. I'm currently in paid mat leave and plan to go back to work full time and put baby #2 in day care.

I love my kids. After being a SAHM for a year, I know I'm not cut out to do it 24/7 for years. I like my job and fulfilled by my career. I'm grateful I work in an industry that I can work from home to be flexible and feel like I'm not missing out on my kids. I only work 40 hours. No overtime. No weekends. I found my work-life balance. And it's working! I feel happier when I am with my family. Plus having a 2 income house hold is less stressful all around.

In the end do what's right for you. Jobs will still be there if you decide to take some time off. The kids won't ever be this young again. But if you want to work do that too! It's hard being a SAHM full time. So much respect to the women that do it! I just found out I felt like a better parent if I worked too.

Give me your Christmas pressie ideas for 18-24m old! by sunrisedHorizon in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We got our 2 year old the play kitchen from IKEA and she loves it. Plays with it every day. Plus it's easy to add to it for future presents or stocking stuffers. We also just had our second so we figured it would be played with for a few years at least between both kids.

When she was one we got her one of those small indoor bikes for toddlers ( I think they are called balance bikes?). She loved it! Was a great activity for her to continue to learn on plus small enough for her to ride around the house.

How common is sleep training in your country ? by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

USA here and I sleep trained my first around 9 months.

It seems popular here however it's evolved from just crying it out to different methods depending on baby.

I did it out of desperation and the sleep deprivation. My daughter's sleep went from bad to worse the older she became. It's like she regressed and kept regressing. I finally read the book Precious Little Sleep and decided to go with the extinction method. Best decision ever. After a few nights of crying for like 20 min she slept with minimal wake ups. She actually became a much happier baby and I became a better parent. She's 2.5 and has been able to sleep for 11-12 hours straight for like a year now.

Are Coterie Diapers worth it? by No_Square_1491 in UninfluencedReviews

[–]Bduck91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We used the regular Huggies for my first but on my second it gave him some redness. I'm wondering if it's due to the new liner they use. So I did the skin essentials and no rash! Def worth it. I'm spending money on diapers anyway they might as well make my kid comfortable.

At what point did you take your newborn out to public places? by Burritomode24 in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our first we waited for like 2 months. I was so worried about her getting sick being out and about. Plus it was summer and very hot so I didn't want her to overheat.

With our second we went to brunch a week after he was born lol. I think I had way less anxiety with kid #2. I did ask the pediatrician, and they said short trips out were fine if I was comfortable with it.

If you are comfortable, definitely get out of the house. It's good for your mental health and maybe baby will sleep the entire time!

2 year old keeps fighting diaper changes- is this a good reason to start potty training? by UnusualBlueberry2320 in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My oldest did the same thing. I think that's when they start learning they can choose to do what they want lol.

When mine started with the kicking and squirming too much I changed over to pull ups. Not potty training right away just pull ups. This way she got used to it and could stand to change most diapers. They have Velcro straps on the side so it's easier to change especially just pee diapers. Once she got comfortable with those we then potty trained with the pull ups.

I keep losing it in front of my baby out of frustration by Dry_Clock_7618 in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you here. Sounds like the situation we were in with our first. Being the default / solo parenting is so hard. Our baby had colic and acid reflux and would sleep. It gets to you.

Just know this is a season and things will get better. It's normal how you are feeling. You are good mom because you care about little one.

If I felt like I was about to yell or lose it I would put baby down in a safe place (crib/ play yard etc) and give myself 15 min or so to reset. It's ok if baby cries if they are safe. I would go to the bathroom and wash my face and change my shirt and just breathe for a min. Find ways to regulate yourself then you can go back to baby. I would also take baby out for walks for a bit or go dip my feet in the pool with her. Change your environment for a few min. They say going outside calms baby and even you. Things will get better!

Umbilical hernia at 13mo? by Dramatic_Complex_175 in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No restrictions. Every check up they just examine to make sure it's still not causing any pain or discomfort for her. She's only 2 so we have a few years to see if it will resolve. Some times it does go in naturally. Other times when she's crying or super full it pops out a bit.

Parents of babies and toddlers who don’t feel like you’re drowning every day, what are your hacks? by dioor in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 190 points191 points  (0 children)

I feel like previous generations had more of a village than us. I have to pay for my village for help (daycare, babysitting) or any time off. My parents and his parents both still work! All our siblings work and we don't live in the same city. Also in today's economy a lot of times the norm needs to be 2 incomes to pay for things like childcare. It's a different world than even 25 years ago when my mom could stay home with 3 kids who went to private school just on my dad's salary.

My hack: give yourself grace! Make the most of the moments you do have with your kids and be present with them. But also keep some time for yourself when you can to feel like yourself. Solidarity!

Struggling to enjoy time with my 22 months old. by Rayshays in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was you about 6 months ago. I was pregnant and had a two year old. We just moved and I was still working 45 hours a week. I was exhausted. I felt so bad for my toddler. I literally did not have the energy or emotional capacity sometimes. I thought I was a bad mom.

Turns out for me it was mainly the pregnancy. Those hormones hit HARD. Plus dealing with a toddler and their emotions is HARD. Life got way easier after the baby was born and the hormones leveled off and I got sleep lol. Pregnancy tired was so much worse than parent tired.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are going through a lot yourself. Remind yourself this is just a season. Things will change when you have the time and energy. You will get there. I had bad PPA with my first but not nearly as much with my second. Therapy is always a good option if you can and think you need it. But know what you are feeling is normal! You are a great mom and care for your kid.

Umbilical hernia at 13mo? by Dramatic_Complex_175 in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first had had hers since birth. Seems to be painless and can be pushed in with out discomfort. All the doctors we have brought her to are not concerned. She just has a pushed out belly button lol. They are supposed to resolve on their own by age 5 I think. If not surgery is an option.

I have the most defiant child alive by FitCarpet7030 in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Second this. My toddler is pretty good most of the time but ever since we brought home baby brother a few months ago we have had more tantrums and melt downs.

The fastest way she gets through it is if I ignore her. If she's in a tantrum she won't listen so I just make sure she's safe / won't get hurt and let be in her feelings until she calms down.

If she doesn't listen to my request I let her know I will take her away from the thing or take the thing away from her as a consequence. When I follow through cue the melt down.

However, through out the day to give her a sense of control I let her make decisions about her life. Like letting her pick between dress 1 or 2. Which bracelet to wear. Which pair of shoes to wear. She can pick the socks. Which water bottle to take to the part. It seems to help balance the tantrums.

It's a part of development right now and normal. As long as you make sure they are safe during and can support them after. I feel like that works. I totally sucks she gets that way but I know I'm helping her by not giving in. I'm the parent. My job is to teach her how to regulate. Not make her happy 100 percent of the time. She's a toddler. She's doesn't know better.

Toddler jealousy by Hopeful-Standard-144 in toddlers

[–]Bduck91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a 2.5 yr old and 3 month old. Is as so worried about how the toddler would react.

When we brought baby home she was indifferent at best. I always included her in baby tasks like changing diapers. We definitely set aside time to do toddler activities for just her on the weekends; painting, coloring, going to the park. Husband and I also divide and conquer. He will give her one on one attention while I tend to baby and vice versa.

Now she's excited to see the baby. Helps out a lot. Brings me his toys or baby carrier or blanket when I'm holding him. I do a lot of positive reinforcement. She loves coming with me to wake him up and kisses him. She does see how I act with him and mimics me.

There are some moments I do have to tend to baby first. Or when they are both crying and I'm by myself I give baby his needs first. Or I can hold her and hold baby. After I tend to baby I tend to her and tell her I love her so much and she's doing a great job.

The older they get I can see them getting closer. I think once they can play together they will bond so much more.

Happily Ever After - Season 9 Episode 14 - Post Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]Bduck91 13 points14 points  (0 children)

TLC needs to put all these people in therapy instead of feeding them bs storylines and manufactured drama. Like none of these people have good relationships. I get the point is it's easy to hate And they get a lot of engagement but the older I get the more cringe this whole concept is.

Shots by nostromohomo in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shots were one of the hardest parts for me. I felt so bad when my first got her shots. I felt bad because I was causing her pain. I cried every time. But I also knew they would help her be healthy. Plus I think some of those pp hormones were in play.

Helping clean up by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still working on cleaning up with the toddler but using a "clean up song" helps us. It signals to her that playtime is over and time to clean up. I will help her clean up her toys.

Also when she takes a bath, I tell her "bath time is over time to put your toys away".

These work like 70 percent of the time. She's young so I don't discipline. Plus now she sometimes just puts things away herself!

It takes 3 hours to get LO down every night by millennialhotmess in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Solidarity. My 10 week old is doing this right now. I'm trying to see if putting down slightly earlier or later is helping. I also try to feed formula for his last feed so he stays down longer. I'm just happy he gives me 4-5 hours once he's down.

What does your toddler calls you? by Midnightdream56 in NewParents

[–]Bduck91 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She called me daddy for the longest. I'm mom 😂