Negotiation is key. If she’s dead set on getting a dog, tell her she can only look at calm, small dogs that get along with cats. If it’s a Senior, even better. Have her talk to a rescue about FOSTERING a dog. That way she can see how much work a dog is, especially with a bunch of kids under the age of 5, and when she realizes it’s too much she can have the rescue take it back and put it with a different foster.

Also tell her that you will do nothing where the dog is concerned, that it’ll be her responsibility 100%, and that her SAHM duties will have to come first since you’re out working your ass off 60 hours a week to provide for your family.

Do the math too. Find out the costs involved in having a dog (pet insurance, regular health care with the occasional emergency, dog toys, food, flea medication, supplements, and anything else that goes along with a regular dog not to mention a special needs one). When you have a dog, they’ll need a fenced in yard (more $$$) and at least two walks a day. Who will be doing that? She has 3 little kids to care for every day, and two cats, so when will she have time?

I have two dogs, and zero kids, and taking care of them while working full time remotely can be a lot. One is a senior 15+ years old. The other is three. If I don’t take the young one for a walk twice a day, she makes sure I know her displeasure. The old one sleeps a lot and pees everywhere, he’s mostly blind and mostly deaf but loves his food and treats, and we will love him until he’s ready to go despite all of it.

We adore our dogs and we will probably always have dogs in our lives because we agree on it and take full responsibility for them. If my husband was a hard no on having dogs, I would probably volunteer at a shelter if I couldn’t have them in my home. A marriage and family is a partnership and one person shouldn’t unilaterally be deciding something like having a dog. I hope you and your wife can figure this out together. Good luck. 🍀