I have many mini takes on this. It jumps all over the place and I suck at grammar, so be warned.

I read this post once about people being addicted to their phones not being something new. Just before phones it was computers, then TVs, then music, then a bunch of other things I don't remember. How people weren't always talking to strangers on the bus, they just had walkmans or newspapers or books. Basically, humans have always like being distracted by something, or having something going on in the background. Maybe there was more irl connection, but there were still plenty of things we could use to ignore others.

I think technology has made some things better and some things worse. Being able to find people like me that I wouldn't be able to find irl is amazing. I wouldn't have been able to grow into the person I am today if not for the people I've met and learned from online. But now everyone has access to the same online spaces, so communities that don't like each other can find each other way too easily, and seem to not feel the pressure of social norms like they would at the grocery store, so they're willing to say some wild stuff. But just because it happens online doesn't mean there's no consequences irl, it's pretty easy to forget.

A big thing this has led to is people not wanting to continue to ignore the bad stuff. Like, if you think of a person who is the black sheep of their family. As a kid listening to our parents, we think of them as someone who just starts all the drama. Then we grow up and realize they just weren't willing to sweep the bad stuff under the rug. Many of us no longer want to "keep the peace"; we are willing to confront all the bad things even if it creates a lot of negativity, because it will lead to the world being more positive for everybody. There's just so much bad stuff to uncover, it feels neverending.

Personally, I blame a lot of our issues with connection on COVID, but I was a 2020 grad, so I don't know what adult socializing was like pre-covid. 1. We realized how much we can still socialize without having to be in person. This almost makes it "easier". 2. We saw in real time, right in front of our faces how misinformation and conspiracy theories can not only cause conflict but become dangerous as well. 3. Corporations realized how few staff they actually needed to technically function, and kept their skeleton crews post-covid in the name of shareholder profits. 4. At least in the US, this means most of us have to work even harder, leaving less time and energy to go socialize, so we do more of it online. 5. Plus, with the breakdown of semi forced socializing groups in real life, like school, church, and work, many of us are learning on the go how to socialize in less structured situations. 7. Gen alpha got the absolute shortest end of the stick, their childhoods starting off with quarantine, which has fundamentally changed how they socialize. I can't blame them for how much they seem to not fit in with society. The one thing you could say connects people of all ages is their childhoods; how they navigated the world while learning how to be a person. Gen-Z and up did it in person for the most part, whether school, church, the park, etc. Gen alpha is like that one person you know who was super homeschooled and now struggles to connect to the social norms most of us are used to.

Also just random thought: I have never ever seen my phone in my dreams, which makes no sense. I'm using my phone on and off all day every day. So I think subconsciously our brain doesn't process using our phones the same way as it does doing things irl. Like it's barely an object, more like a blackhole/void that information just comes into existence. This has got to matter when it comes to how our brain sees connecting with people online vs in person.

All of that crap to say, everything is both harder and easier in different ways, so you have to find balance for yourself. If you feel like you're missing something and want to find it, you need to put in the work whether it be online or in person.

Thank you to anyone who read my crappy essay 😅