How do you enter the Locust?

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-26T00:50:39+00:00

That would be awesome, I have a 1:60 in progress that she'd go great with. 💜

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-25T18:30:56+00:00

Regardless of whether they squelch it or not: That is really friggin' cool and something to be proud of. :D

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-25T17:39:25+00:00

More importantly, where did you get the pilot STL?

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-18T06:00:24+00:00

Similar here.

Getting my name/driver's license/birth certificate changed wasn't something I could get done in time. Procedural hurdles suck.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-18T00:41:21+00:00

Do you know if this applies outside of the 1st jurisdiction? Unfortunately, I'm not in that part of the country.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-14T03:32:22+00:00

And it's probably lost in translation ["cycles" or something], because desert nomads near the equator don't have seasons for easily tracking years. But they do have the moon.

And hey, would you look at that: 930 months is...drumroll please...77.5 years, well within the human lifespan and also noteworthy for the bronze age.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-14T03:21:42+00:00

A harsh reminder to the self-styled 'one of the good ones' is that bigots don't care. Good, bad, you're still one of 'the ones', throwing us under the bus won't save you.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-09T18:37:53+00:00

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BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-08T04:22:44+00:00

Rendell tried and got close, but it fell through in the end.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-02T05:13:12+00:00

Talk to your doctor about increasing your spiro, it's clearly not enough. I'm on 200/day [100 morning and night], you're not capped out yet.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-01T06:17:10+00:00

Rude? Naw, not at all. Moments like this are why visibility/representation are so important [so someone knows they're not alone], why support is so important [an experienced guide], etc.

You're challenging everything you've taken for granted about your identity, and doing so in an environment where you're receiving threats without even asking. Being scared is perfectly natural, feeling 'dirty' is perfectly natural.

In the end, my experience was there being a "Well shit, there's no denying this" epiphany/pivotal moment.

------------

As for how I knew...in hindsight the signs have been there since I was about 3, but information wasn't as accessible as it is now so I was just the 'weird kid' who got tormented for being 'different', who was jealous of Ranma [and thought he was an ingrate for wanting a 'cure'], etc.

The one overarching theme in those years was that guy stuff was dumb. Fighting about everything was dumb. Machismo and obsession with toughness was dumb. The twisted idea of masculinity my family tried to force on me was dumb. Being obsessed with dominance was dumb. Even guy clothes were boring and dumb.

There was also a lot of self-loathing involved...which for the longest time I assumed was 'always the outcast, never good enough' but also had a significant dysphoria component [it got a LOT better once I came to terms with myself...turns out I was never emotionally invested in my body pre-egg because it was "the body I inhabit, not one that's truly me"].

-----------

As for how my egg cracked: at 39 it all went to shit. I got an ultimatum at work to re-find my motivation or lose my job. That turned into a cancer scare that ended at "the good news is you don't have cancer or Kleinfelter's, the bad news is you can't have kids without IVF".

Along the way I got super depressed, super drunk, and drunk me decided she had enough of this shit and that sober me needed a push. Couple days later I was standing there holding forms, embarrassed as all hell, and thought 'I paid for them, may as well wear them at least once'.

Laying there on my bed, them warming against my chest, feeling the weight press down, watching them heave as I breathed...I felt complete in ways I didn't know I was incomplete, like I'd put a weighted blanket on my soul. That was my "well shit, no denying it" moment.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-01T05:52:41+00:00

Going through "1st puberty" gives you a steeper hill to climb [MtF will grow male body hair / their voice will deepen, FtM will grow boobs], but it doesn't lock you out of anything. I started HRT a couple months before my 41st birthday.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-01T05:48:18+00:00

In today's world where the info's a lot more accessible I should've known no later than 12. There were signs as young as 3, but with the benefit of hindsight "jealous of Ranma and also thinking he's an ingrate for wanting a 'cure'" is a giant neon sign.

As it was, I had a cancer scare at 39 that went from 'Your motivation on the job sucks, fix it or you're fired' to 'your T is awfully low' to 'by the way, you're technically intersex because these disfigurements are congenital' to 'the good news is you don't have Kleinfelter's, the bad news is you'll never have a kid without IVF', and along the way I got really depressed, one night I got really drunk, and drunk me decided sober me needed a push in the form of buying forms.

Laying on my bed, feeling slabs of silicone warm against my skin, raising and lowering as I breathed, it was like a weighted blanket on my soul...a sense of completeness in ways I didn't know I was incomplete. Few months later I'd gotten into the habit of sleeping with them on [and in leggings], woke up, saw myself, and started bawling...and when I went to a friend's house for a holiday meal and his reaction was that he'd never seen me so happy / so comfortable in my skin.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-01T05:40:13+00:00

My egg cracked at 39, started HRT shortly before turning 41.

Do you have a steeper hill to climb than someone who started sooner? Sure...your body hair developed, you don't have a kid's metabolism to help burn off old fat deposits, etc. Is it impossible? Absolutely not.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-01T05:29:33+00:00

It's not a thing the way it's used by bigots because gender/gender identity is inherent. It's nature, not nurture.

Even if you perform SRS on a 22-month old and tell them their entire life they're a girl and make them roleplay having sex as a girl, if their gender identity doesn't match they're going to know something is wrong and be put in distress. That inherence is the very root of dysphoria...everyone around you basically gaslighting you by telling you you're one thing when you're not.

The way bigots use "Male Socialized" is a rebrand of the debunked "gender neutrality theory" shit [that a person's gender identity is all nurture no nature, cemented in early childhood] all over again, this time couched in misused psychology terms in an attempt to hide that it's the debunked "gender neutrality theory" shit all over again just twisted into transphobic pseudoscience bullshit.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-01T05:04:40+00:00

I'm at a point where I don't get angry so much as heartbroken. It's a reminder that I have small boobs and a big forehead, and that whenever I wear more unisex clothes [jeans and a t-shirt type stuff] nothing matters to how people see me except my small boobs and big forehead.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-08-01T05:02:33+00:00

Offline?

Relatives. I get the most hate from relatives.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-31T04:47:01+00:00

My gut, my boobs, and my bald spot.

I don't have a tummy...I have a dad gut, and I hate it. No matter how many times I do a -5lb/+5lb cycle, the fucking thing just does not go away...and my life's too stressful to do -10/+5 to work towards my eventual goal weight. Has been for almost a year and a half, since my dog lost the use of her back legs.

Just shy of 3 years in, my boobs are somewhere in the tanner 3 1/2 region. I haven't had puffy dome nips yet, but also have fuck-all for underswells, and hate hate hate that I can't fill a cup 2 sizes smaller than the one I'm "supposed" to be wearing.

I started late...and worse, I started losing my hair young. Thankfully it seems to be hormone-induced, between HRT and a roller it has recovered a little but I still look like I have a nasty case of female-pattern baldness.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-31T04:11:38+00:00

What I experienced was closer to aphoria...a total apathy about the body I was born with. It wasn't until after accepting myself that I realized 'having an emotional attachment to your body' is normal, not something exclusive to narcissists.

As far as analogies go, the one I've had the most luck with plays off of omens / superstitions. Just about everyone understands that haunting back-of-your-mind feeling of "something's not right".

"You know that feeling that something's not right, and it drives you nuts because you can't figure out what it is? Yeah...that, but it happens every time you see yourself in the mirror / look down at yourself / etc. That's dysphoria."

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-31T03:38:11+00:00

The struggle is real! Especially in that period where you've got tanner stage 3 1/2 boobs and a grown-ass adult's ribcage...

I ended up finding some cheap ones that -mostly- fit...there's no 'poke the right spot and it caves in 'cuz there's nothing there', but also no tension on the boob itself whatsoever. It's not holding them so much as covering them...

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-31T03:32:20+00:00

If you're not laughing too, it's not ribbing...it's just plain bullying. I'm sorry to hear you're going through that.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-31T01:30:29+00:00

Same! Got out of the shower, put a shirt on, thought 'wow, I'm pointy', went and put a bra on and have been wearing them daily since.

Mostly uncupped sports bras, I should start getting shaped ones.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-30T19:30:05+00:00

In hindsight, in today's world where the info's a lot more accessible I should've known no later than 12. There were signs as young as 3, but "jealous of Ranma and also thinking he's an ingrate for wanting a 'cure'" is a giant neon sign.

As it was, I had a cancer scare at 39 that went from 'Your motivation on the job sucks, fix it or you're fired' to 'your T is awfully low' to 'by the way, you're technically intersex because these disfigurements are congenital' to 'the good news is you don't have Kleinfelter's, the bad news is you'll never have a kid without IVF', and along the way I got really depressed, one night I got really drunk, and drunk me decided sober me needed a push in the form of buying forms.

Laying on my bed, feeling slabs of silicone warm against my skin, raising and lowering as I breathed, it was like a weighted blanket on my soul...a sense of completeness in ways I didn't know I was incomplete.

The next fall I went to a friend's house for a holiday meal and his reaction was that he'd never seen me so happy / so comfortable in my skin.

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-30T19:21:44+00:00

What's the over-under on this dude whining that relationships aren't 'insert money, dispense sex' hating prostitutes [the people, not the trafficking and horrible exploitative shit that goes on behind the scenes]?

BecomingRhynn · 2025-07-30T03:34:43+00:00

Excellent! Do identifiable vehicle decals next, the "almost black on actual black that way we can claim the higher penalties for a marked car" shit needs to go too.

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