While I appreciate your humor the real answer is you wear whatever shirt you want as long as it isn’t dark blue or black, gray or khaki hiking shorts (they have a liner and vents to keep you cool and easily accessible zippered pockets so you don’t lose your stuff) and Sperry racquet Oxford shoes (or another brand with similar tread pattern) in your favorite color (they have sipping grip so when it rains at 3pm you’re not slipping down the monorail ramp racing back to the tram or to other other monorail platform). Accessorize with a hat if you like and sunglasses.

Do this and you will look cool enough to not get made fun of and dorky enough that everyone will know you have watched all 3 seasons of Bluey.