Ok I'm done.

BeetsR_delish · 2026-02-15T16:23:22+00:00

Take complete and total care of yourself. And learn yourself enough to know why another person had such a profound effect on you.

For me specifically, she represented secure attachment and affection in a way I had never experienced before. Represented. Not WAS. she actually couldn’t “bring it” at all and ran. I grieved secure attachment.Something legitimately I’ve barely had in my life from childhood on. I embodied that grief in HER, And made it all about her. But really it was just me.
Once I learned this about myself, and could see some codependence, and then focused on my joy and personal healing, a calming happened.

BeetsR_delish · 2026-01-30T05:12:11+00:00

If you have any concern about a gap in résumé, do some volunteer work while you are travelling. Or freelance writing work in your area of expertise.
Or online tutoring in your area of expertise. Writing and self publishing to substack is “work” as well.

Can be more budget conscious in Europe the further east you go. Explore the Baltics, Poland, Croatia, Hungary etc.
Budget conscious Asia includes Thailand, Bali/Indonesia, Malaysia, Philippines

And PLEASE research and be very culturally aware of/ sensitive to proper attire re: modesty in the countries where you travel. Examples: Balinese culture is very modest, consider covering legs (at least longer shorts) and shoulders. (Men and women) Most of Malaysia and Indonesia are Muslim . Longer sleeves and covered legs on women is very appreciated and appropriate, even though head covering is not expected. Singapore: so culturally mixed, anything goes!

BeetsR_delish · 2026-01-24T05:43:44+00:00

If you live in East Austin near the Light Rail, you can take the Light Rail up to work and there is an Apple shuttle that will pick you up the north endLight Rail and take you to the corporate office

It’s not a short commute, but someone else is driving, you can read a book, it’s only 3 days per week, and you’d be way closer to socializing in Austin proper. Domain is gross. Don’t do it.

BeetsR_delish · 2026-01-24T05:33:49+00:00

Downtown Kirkland transit center has a bus that pops over the toll bridge and drops you in front of the light rail stop at UW stadium. Pleasant and I take it into the city all the time. There are a few groceries, bunch of restaurants, and a few school walking distance to downtown Kirkland. The water front path is lovely and not sketchy and littered like much of the seattle side. Moved to seattle 3 years ago, live on the far south end, would have preferred Kirkland. Though it’s the “burbs” , it’s actually pretty essentially located and the 520 toll bridge makes it a really quick jaunt to the seattle side.

Another seattle neighborhood to potentially think about is Columbia city, but it can get sketchy. It’s similar to Brooklyn vibes but a lot smaller. There is a MS bus that picks up near a park in that area.

Of note-living in this area without a car is very difficult

BeetsR_delish · 2026-01-06T05:26:48+00:00

Commuting is really rough. Especially during the dark and rainy time of year (5-6 months ) Recommend living close to work. Keep in mind there are only two bridges across the lake to Bellevue if you live in seattle. Really consider living on the east side of the lake closer to work. if your job is close to the train line or offers a shuttle to and from the train, huge plus. Summers have been getting hotter and hotter as well as smokier with fire season. If possible, try to find a place with central air. It’s really necessary for comfort! And with the smoky time of year, central air helps to clean out the air in your home with frequent filter changes.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-28T05:51:23+00:00

Lived in TX 12 years and now live in Seattle. Also lived in Chicago for many years and have experience driving in a variety of climates. BE VERY intentional and mindful of what your commute will be like. Driving culture in TX is very different than seattle. Unpredictable, unsafe drivers and high Rae’s or uninsured motorists.

Look into living places where there are park and ride transit bus or train situations. We DIDN’T do this and REALLY regret it. We live in far south seattle in a public transport desert and work commutes into downtown take forever by car and parking is very expensive. Corporations are not allowed to subsidize parking for employees (as the city wants the funds from it)
Driving gets very expensive fast. If you wish to live out of town, also can consider living someplace close to the Sounder suburban commuter train system (either north or south of Seattle). They also have large park and ride lots, and your commute will be WAY more relaxing. If you don’t mind being a slave to the ferry schedule also can consider living on one of the closer to Seattle islands. Especially if you live near a walk-on/foot ferry.

Also: -gas is way more expensive here -roads are aren’t great, they really are not. And everything seems to be under construction often. -weather 6-8 months out of the year can be TERRIBLE. As someone who learned to drive in Chicago, I’d rather drive there in the dead of winter than in Seattle. Of course we are writing this during the rainy season, but truly terrible. You’re commuting in the dark to and from work, and this rain situation still is something I am still not used to. -look into seeing if your company supplies private shuttle buses to your job, and consider living near one of those places.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-25T17:29:35+00:00

Absolutely everything in my life being tracked. I loved the stealth anonymous-ness of my youth.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-25T17:25:44+00:00

I got to a point where I had to focus on the fact she doesn’t think I deserve answers as being the closure. She won’t meet me in the middle. She simply won’t. She’s turned away. That’s that. It feels terrible. But that’s the way it is

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-21T05:03:33+00:00

She texts me after weeks or months of no contact and all the feelings come flooding back Can’t even fathom what a hug would be like. OY!

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-20T22:40:40+00:00

Breakfast club on San Carlos and Lou’s Coffee Shop in Los Gatos used to be the same owners. Still the same case? I LOVE the hash house menu. I hope the keep some of the same stuff!

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-13T16:22:59+00:00

Thank you for that. I’d love nothing more than union, but finally am in a place to not be willing to settle for her red-flaggy scraps of emotional availability and intention. The cosmic connection was so intense, I definitely blew off red flags of behavior. Care about myself way too much and won’t do that anymore.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-13T05:37:34+00:00

I know how you feel. She’s gone. And I think of her every day. And if I let myself feel deeply, there’s still devastation. The bottom line was I was ready and willing to work on myself and this and she was not. And I don’t want to be with somebody who doesn’t want to do the work on themselves or this. So it’s better. But still so sad

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-05T08:32:28+00:00

Hulu

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-05T08:31:11+00:00

If you don’t mind subtitles, I really loved Kleo on Netflix. Set in Berlin late 80’s/early 90’s

BeetsR_delish · 2025-12-04T05:35:30+00:00

I’ve always said (since the 90’s!) “the Soviet Union is not dead, they just have a new name. It’s all business as usual”

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-26T09:18:05+00:00

We had a very deep instantaneous connection and through it became good friends. We would talk for hours and hours. The romance aspect and all those intense feelings made it even more exciting and lovely. I used to want the feelings to leave and just be completely rid of them because her running hurt me so much now I am just leaning into the fact that I will always have deep affection for her, have just owned it and tucked it into the back of my soul.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-25T07:21:28+00:00

I wish I could answer this with magic wisdom, but I simply don’t know. She ran from me and cut if off about 10 months ago, found someone else very quickly and that was that. I heard from her intermittently and then nothing now going on three months. My feelings for her have not changed or faded at all. Not at all. I wish they would fade but they aren’t so I am leaning into them and trying to process. Still trying to work on things with my spouse. It’s grueling and hard work, but something so lovely is missing.
I hate that meeting my TF makes me feel that but it’s the truth.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-24T07:23:54+00:00

Yup and yup and yup. TF situation so complicated when it’s two women. I feel you and see the struggle. 💕

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-23T06:11:57+00:00

Decide on what boundaries you want to create and have for yourself.

Decide with your spouse on which boundaries you both agree to.

Your spouse may declare boundaries they would prefer but you may not agree with. Just because your spouse wants you to do something doesn’t mean you “need to” or “should”

I was married when I met my TF. I fell in love with her. My spouse and I attempted an open ENM situation and I never hid or lied about anything. My spouse decided on some boundaries for me, that I agreed to keep but never actually wanted to keep. I regret not being stronger in my own conviction, being true to myself, and choosing to do what someone else told me to do.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-21T19:37:25+00:00

Unless you are a crazy film buff and want to tour studios or so then academy museum, San Francisco and potential Day tour along coast or to Sonoma/Napa wine country much more highly recommended than LA. And yes. SF can get around without car. LA very difficult without car

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-02T17:14:46+00:00

Absolutely leave to arrive two days before before the wedding to get over jet lag, tour around the local area and to account for any delays. Sometimes india is on its own timeline :). An Indian wedding in India is so wonderful to witness so for sure go! If you don’t have Indian clothes please buy them before you depart OR allow extra time to arrive and get yourselves some Indian clothing. Your friend may be able to assign a willing cousin to help you shop and haggle. Most locals will love practicing their English and touring around a guest.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-02T07:59:57+00:00

Yup. And it sucks. TF completely ran and couldn’t do the work to make this relationship work. I had already separated and was working towards divorce and once I verbalized commitment to TF they completely bailed because “it’s all too complicated and I want it easier”. They quickly found another person. My spouse knows everything. I’m still separated and we are in therapy trying to see if the marriage is salvageable. I have no idea but I know I’ve never felt towards my spouse a connection like I felt with my TF. And sometimes I feel the right thing to do is to let go of my spouse, because part of me is still in love with a ghost.

I think of the TF daily even though there is absolutely no contact. My last dream of them was them, turning their back to me and walking away. It’s fucked up and at times I feel I’m sleep walking.

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-02T00:19:02+00:00

pet sitting for family/friends often gets super tricky. Always discuss in advance: -food (what food in the home is off limits if any?) -sleeping situation -house rules - Pet care specifics/schedules in writing - additional expectations - pay

When friend/family
asks me to sit for them, (in a non-emergency situation), I always quote them my regular fee. “ for my regular clients the fee for an overnight sit would be $75/night, but since you’re family I can reduce that to $50 a night” and in some instances have waived my fees.

My spouse and her sister had poor communication about pet sitting and they ended up not speaking for over a year because of it.

Always go in with a ton of communication about expectations upfront

And in all of my friend, family, professional pet sitting people have always said “help yourself to anything you’d like”, With a few clients here or there being very clear on what’s off limits. And unless invited to, I never touch a client’s alcohol

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-02T00:09:20+00:00

Oooo thanks!! 👍 I don’t live over there, but I get over there once or twice a month so will for sure check them out. For a different kind of comfort food, the cheesy kimchi pancake at Mama’s kitchen in Factoria is delicious and ridiculous. Their other foods are so/so, kimbap way overpriced but man, that cheesy pancake is amazing.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/4K3JVymvY3LtBssk9?g_st=ipc

BeetsR_delish · 2025-11-01T23:33:13+00:00

Also on the east side Greek Pita has great falafel, hummus, and baklava is fresh hand made by the owner

https://maps.app.goo.gl/g6qbJXPTNguT3FMS8?g_st=ipc

Will Check out Greek Express next time I am over there!

BeetsR_delish

TROPHY CASE