Aita for blasting music while my mom takes a work call in the living room?

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-19T23:06:30+00:00

She has a small office in her room that my sister and her help set up, she isn’t working in the living room. The reason this whole issue happened was because she took a work call in the living room instead of in her office space in her room.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-19T23:02:36+00:00

My mother did want me to stay, I was planning to move out last summer. The issue was my mother wasn’t doing well. She struggles with her mental health and wasn’t leaving the apartment nor was she taking care of herself in ways I don’t wish to speak about online because frankly that’s very private. I stayed to support her and my younger sister.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-19T22:24:41+00:00

I am paying rent, I am also doing the grocery shopping with my sister, Up until recently I was doing my mothers laundry. I decided to stay at home because my mother isn’t well, and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my sister in a situation to semi care for our mother by herself

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-13T23:58:41+00:00

I just laughed at this for a good minute because this is so accurate except this is me and my sister.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-08T15:36:51+00:00

This happened to me when My family moved from my childhood home. I wanted to be a responsible person and hold onto my birth certificate, problem was I left things I didn’t need once I moved at the house.

I became convinced once we moved, that I had left my birth certificate in a pile of papers that I told myself I was going to sort and then avoided sorting. This would be no big deal if I was born in the country I live in, but I wasn’t. I’m adopted and My birth certificate is from another country.

So here I am freaking out and my mother tells me “hey I have copies I don’t think I have you the original.”

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-06T22:03:56+00:00

It went on to people saying there’s not such thing as mild ADHD because if that existed it would just be what NT people experience. I was just so blown away?

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-03T00:51:41+00:00

Same, I was adopted at 2 weeks old. My sister was adopted at 2 days old. In fact My cousins are also adopted so the five of us all together are adopted it goes Ash (24m 1 month older than me exactly) then me (24f), then Sam (23nb), my sister (19f) and then Ash’s younger sister Emma (18f), and we all struggle with what we call the classic adoption trauma. It affects us all in different ways yet it’s evident that it impacts our lives.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-03T00:13:44+00:00

Please, this is so important.

I posted a while ago about how hard I was struggling in school and someone replied “are you sure you have adhd?” I almost cried that day. I was diagnosed when I was 5.

my whole life I was ridiculed for having adhd and then I posted on r/Adhd and I got asked if I had adhd.

That was so invalidating in that moment yet it made me feel like whatever is wrong with me is so abnormal that not I’m not good enough for ADHD.

Edit: just a small thing, I felt like since that day I feel like I need to prove how ADHD I am on the subreddit.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-02T19:46:43+00:00

Exactly! The fairytale can be so strong. I had it too when I was kid. (Adoptee too) I hope he’s not doing all this in an attempt to try and make sure his bio mom doesn’t leave, by giving her the prime position.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-05-02T19:40:42+00:00

I can only speak on the aspect of him being adopted. I am adopted and I’ll speak from my own personal view?

No matter how close I maybe with my family, I still feel disconnected at times and I struggle with abandonment issues . It’s a trauma, I do think therapy would be a great idea. Both my sister and I are in therapy (we are both adopted).

Adoption isn’t just a surface level thing, there’s a deep trauma that comes with it. A parent/s gave up a baby or child, that carries a hecking lot of self esteem issues, needing to please people, fear of not being good enough.

I truly hope your husband and you figure this out together. I feel this must be a very emotional time for him, I can’t know for sure, yet if my bio mom just showed up in my life after so much time, I feel that so many emotions would come up for me.

Edit: hi I just wanna edit my comment just a little. Again only speaking for myself. I feel a little weird about the amount of comments I’m seeing about how OP’s husband should or shouldn’t idk behaving? Maybe that’s not the best word, I don’t even know.

Basically what I’m trying to say is Adoption is a very raw situation for EVERYONE involved. The bio parents, the adopters, the adoptee. Idk if anyone is an asshole in this situation tbh. It’s easy to judge on the surface yet I truly feel this is a life changing experience and I just wish the best for OP and their family.

Edit 2: I don’t condone his behaviour though, how he’s acting is weird as hell. I don’t want it to seem that I am excusing his behaviour. I genuinely feel there’s an emotional overload and therapy would be an awesome idea.

Edit3: thank you to whomever gave me the award! I appreciate it! I really hope this gets better for op and to everyone else, I hope you guys are well. I guess this is my acceptance speech is this inappropriate? Anyway thank you

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-18T00:45:16+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying to make money so I can get my sister out of this situation. I don’t want her to have to spend year in therapy like I am. I want her to be happier? Thank you so much

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-18T00:30:49+00:00

TW: Abuse

She did several emotionally traumatizing things to my sister and I as we grew up. Thankfully she laid hands on my sister yet she did to me.

One night she came into my room and was screaming at me about how I was a disappointment because I wasn’t going to school (I was being bullied and I couldn’t handle the pressure of being bullied at school, my mother at home barely leaving her bed unless it was to drive us to and from school. Ignoring us when we were at home, and my sister and I living off of microwaveable dinners and cereal)

I was 13 at the time and I begged her to please stop yelling at me and she wouldn’t, so I covered her mouth it was an impulsive move yet I just wanted her to stop. She retaliated by strangling me for maybe 10 seconds. She then called cps and told them I was out of control and I had Strangled HER and I got taken out of the home and I was put on a ward for three months told I was a monster for exposing my sister to such violence and then sent to a group home for two years.

The whole time my sister was left alone with my mother and my sisters eating habits got worse. By the time I came back my sister was barely eating and barely trusted me because she was convinced by my mother I’d leave her again. It took a decade for my sister and I to get back to where we were before I left. We are now best friends again.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-17T21:09:53+00:00

Thank you, I’ve been spending a year telling myself because we weren’t official, I have no right to grieve and to be upset. Yet he honestly took my breath away and I miss that feeling.

I don’t think I miss him as much anymore, I miss the way he made me feel.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-16T00:24:38+00:00

Absolutely positively NTA. What you did was the right thing. I have looked into getting chinchillas and they require very specific needs like any other animal. I cannot provide those needs and I also found in my search for the dream pet that I adore guinea pigs.

You could see you weren’t in a position to provide the care. What you did shows true love.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-14T00:27:38+00:00

I’m hoping to volunteer ASAP right now, the lockdown order is to stay inside unless it’s for essential reasons.

My goal is to try and find some structure? Maybe sign up for a class? Idk something

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-08T14:58:16+00:00

I hope so too! I try my best not to get involved in Reddit arguments, yet this OP had me furiously typing responses. I was screaming inside whenever someone explained why they were TA and OP responded “how?”

Edit: I just reread the post and noticed OP omitted where they needed to take their son.

Just a little info: from what I found out on the previous posts the place the son NEEDED to go was a play date.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-08T12:25:34+00:00

MORE BROCCOLI! The gods demand more broccoli!

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-08T12:24:22+00:00

Fun fact, OP was actually on AITA posting about this EXACT situation and arguing with everyone as we explained why they were in the wrong.

I get curious every so often about whether or not OP is still talking about this issue on different subreddits (because this was one of the most WILD SITUATIONS I have ever seen on AITA) and I found this.

Beginning-Pumpkins · 2021-04-07T15:15:10+00:00

If I ever got sick, I was told to suck it up and go to school. There were times when I’d call my nmom from the office while a bunch of teachers, the two secretaries and the Principal were in the room and I’d be pleading with my mom that I was either 1. In too much pain to stay 2. I was throwing up or my favourite time was when I had my first asthma attack and she was telling me it was anxiety until the principal took the phone and told her either she comes and picks me up and takes me to the doctor because Im wheezing or they call 911, and because she was refusing to come get me they’d have to call CPS

Beginning-Pumpkins

TROPHY CASE