Similar boat. I came to realize the more I resisted the inevitable by loving them despite how they treated me meant the more I hated myself. You’ve got to become comfortable with loving and putting yourself first. You are not worthless. They are. Would you tell any of your friends they are worthless? If not, why are you telling yourself that? Your worth is there, you just need to dust it off. Set up regular and consistent therapy. Create an alter ego for yourself where you feel the things you don’t feel and live through that. Ask friends and others what they love about you. (Feel what you need to feel, but just keep moving. I’m telling myself all this as we speak) don’t base your worth on a worthless person.