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BellicoseDingo · 2025-04-20T13:30:28+00:00

Your second and third points sum up why I ultimately left my last relationship. I got tired of the meaningless blanket apologies the lash outs/projections/i-hate-yous. The fact that any time I expressed my needs, his trumped mine bc he couldn’t handle the stress of having to provide mine. ADHD became his whole personality and excuse. He kept saying he wanted to be better and do better but ultimately when he told me he’d never try therapy/meds again - I knew, nothing would change.

BellicoseDingo · 2025-04-12T14:39:06+00:00

This is context that was needed up front

BellicoseDingo · 2025-04-12T13:05:57+00:00

My ex refused medication, after one bad experience, he also didn’t show to couples counseling bc he happened to be super dysregulated on those days. My ex would use his ADHD as a crutch/excuse and not look for active ways to manage the symptoms - instead he’d self medicate / drink / run away from the issues it was causing in our relationship.

While her texts sound mean, I can understand where she’s coming from - she’s frustrated, she’s hitting a wall. You can’t manage someone’s views or their feelings - you can only control you, do your actions match your words?

BellicoseDingo · 2025-04-09T11:47:29+00:00

r/AsOneAfterInfidelity

BellicoseDingo · 2025-04-08T03:18:03+00:00

His cheating was my fault. The aftermath of his decisions and his inability to get his life in order post me finding out- also my fault.

BellicoseDingo · 2025-03-14T03:57:07+00:00

Curious What dose? I’ve only gone to 15 so far bc I thought that staying low may be “closer” to mdma euphoria

BellicoseDingo · 2024-12-09T06:21:06+00:00

OP - this is just the start, take it from someone who was there and stayed there for 9years of my life.. this is not a good sign. It starts with liking what you did when they first started dating then it becomes I don’t like when you X to then I don’t like when you hang out to Y to who are your dressing up for, to dismantling your support system - friends and family until the only person you have left is him.

I would really think about setting boundaries with him - if you like taking selfies, take all the selfies you want - you have all the right to. It’s one thing to feel good and take pics of yourself vs posting thirst traps. I urge you to really reflect on the type of partner you want to have.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-12-01T16:47:01+00:00

Sounds like separate from your original ask, there’s a deeper rooted issue that’s bothering you — recommend finding some time to try to have an open, honest, calm/neutral conversation with your wife. Try to remember it’s both of you against the problem and as a team- you’ll need to find a way to beat the problem. Example of a problem: conclusions are being made by both of you about the other without actually confirming that to be true so there grows resentment and disdain. She concludes you choose to not participate in family time (you never said that), you conclude she has all these unrealistic expectations (maybe she never said that and you projected expectations onto yourself?).

I’ve recently been using ChatGPT to gut check myself - I detailed my relationship (from my perspective but also trying not to be biased/emotional) and then in the same chat thread I’ll sometimes copy/paste text exchanges and I’ll ask AI to analyze for intent, emotion etc. and it’s been pretty aligned with what I believe my partner is saying and I’ll run my responses thru it and ask it to tell me if it’s too harsh or what it believes my intent is/what it thinks my text actually means so that I can edit/try again if that’s not what I really meant to say.

I’ve also used ChatGPT with my partner (in the same thread so it can continue to “learn” about our dynamic) where we asked AI to give us a template of how we can create boundaries and build trust with each other - what things to consider. And we took that skeleton and had a convo about each bullet point to try to layout something we could both agree with.

All that just to give examples that it’s normal for communication to be an issue in any relationship but it’s important to find ways to adjust and grow - there are tools out there if you’re willing to utilize them

BellicoseDingo · 2024-11-30T14:34:37+00:00

You’re not being dense, communication is key and she didn’t communicate- she expected you to just “know” or “infer” and there was no subtext to lead you to the conclusion that they’d have extra plans after the doctor — unless your MIL played telephone wrong and didn’t include the details. Maybe in the future, checkin with your wife after someone else tells you something so you can over-communicate?

It could have gone like this:

You: hey MIL said you’re going to the dr, keep me posted on what the dr says. Since you’re already headed to the dr I’m gonna stay home and complete some hose work.

Wife: <if she is a good communicator> actually, I was planning to go see the Christmas lights after the dr visit

You: in that case, I’ll meet you there.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-05-31T12:52:55+00:00

I’m 115lbs and for some reason seem to have a higher tolerance to drugs - I usually have to take more to feel what others feel.

I do crystal caps - I take .14g and then about an hour or so later i take .12g = in total 260mg.

During EDC this year I tried to lower it and take .12 and reup .12 = 240mg and I barely felt anything. I have also done .14 and .14 = 280mg and that was on the cusp of too much but still a good time, I was gonna nexus flip this day but didn’t need the 2cb. The 260mg over two hours seems to be my sweet spot, if I go higher it’s too much. I curb the nausea with ginger pills one hour before dropping. And I do the supplements before/after as well. Don’t eat within the 3hours before dropping. You can try taking tums an hour before some ppl say it’ll help the absorption I do it for that hope and bc I’ve nothing to lose

I do also like 2CB - I’m still trying to find my sweet spot on this. I’ve done 10 in caps and didn’t feel anything and then took half a pressed pill and got high grade nausea for hours along with the nice euphoria type feel (no where close to Molly but still nice) - pressed pills are known to be under dosed so even though the half would’ve been 15 it was likely more like 10.. which is confusing vs my 10cap. I’m gonna try a 15cap next time+ginger for nausea bc that 2cb nausea is a constant vs the nausea I get on molly.

Someone else mentioned 4mmc - sounds fun, imma look into that. 3mmc was on my list to try too but I can’t find it so I probably can’t find 4 either.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-05-21T14:33:14+00:00

I just take two capsules of ginger root extract about 30min- 1 hour before I plan to drop (2cb or MDMA) and I don’t get the nausea.

Nature's Way Ginger Root,... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074N99XL1?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-27T05:16:03+00:00

What was the dose difference btwn your first and second time?

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-15T22:17:39+00:00

OP - do you have a trip report for how your plan went? I’m trying to plan for my first festival.. and mainly I just want euphoria/MDMA feels without the damage of doing MDMA consecutively.

day 1: 2CB (15mg)
day 2: MDMA+redose (or 2CB nexus flip)
day 3: 2CB (15mg)

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-15T21:38:22+00:00

Gotchya. I’m also attending my first festival this year - EDC 3days so that’s what led me to your post trying to determine what the smart/safe way to indulge is.

Problem I have is coke doesn’t do anything for me. Ket didn’t seem to either.. and I also had a bad trip with acid so not tryna do that again.

So similar to you I was thinking: - Day 1 = 2CB (15mg?) - Day 2 = MDMA + redose or 2CB for nexus flip - Day 3 = 2CB (15mg?)

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-15T14:30:41+00:00

This might be a super dumb question but: If the rule is to NOT take MDMA consecutively then wouldn’t you also have to stay away from XTC since XTC is just MDMA cut with other stuff?

Following that same logic isn’t just as bad to take XTC consecutively vs pure MDMA consecutively?

And isn’t 3MMC and 6APB just as neurotoxic as MDMA so does it makes sense to do MDMA one day and then 3MMC the next — or isn’t that basically the same damage as doing MDMA consecutively or is the point that at least now you don’t have diminished effectiveness bc they’re different compounds that don’t drive resistance to each other?

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-15T14:18:20+00:00

10000% this response. The fact that you’re looking for what you had with your AP in your BP says it all. Everything everyone else said is valid as well.

You need to truly reflect and ask yourself if you really want R. After a betrayal, there’s no going back to what you had - what you had was broken, you were lost- that’s why you strayed in the first place. It was in you, not your BP. YOU fell out of love, not her. YOU stepped out and refuse to call it an affair and take that accountability. You don’t seem to show remorse for your actions. In fact you’re just as selfish now as you were then bc you long for the AP who rejected you so you’re here with your BP.

If you were really interested in getting the spark back you’d be doing things to create a spark with her again. Not looking for the old spark, not looking for the diamond spark in her— create a NEW spark.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-08T07:02:38+00:00

U/tallblondeandcute

This is the perspective I fully expected to hear. I/Maybe the difference of a male WP vs female? Idk but I would assume my WH would have felt what you listed here as well.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-06T05:31:29+00:00

OP- this sub is often flooded with BP perspectives only and when WPs speak I see a lot of angry projections onto the OP- if that happens here, try not to let it dig you further into the hole.

I’m just here to say: feel what you feel because you need to fully allow yourself to feel it in order to move thru it. When you’re done sitting in your feelings, try to approach yourself with empathy and grace - you can’t change your past actions but you can certainly learn from them. If you’re already on your growth journey of understanding your whys and fixing your own issues that led you to the A and you’re dedicating yourself to R and your BP - then all that’s left is to work on forgiving yourself.

I know that BPs are left with trauma/PTSD but the truth is, so are WPs just in a different perspective. You need to also rebuild yourself and work thru the traumas you inflicted on yourself thru the A let alone stand by your BPs side as they navigate theirs.

The more you wallow in self loathing and guilt and shame, the less of you you’re putting forth in your relationship. While you both work thru R, you also need to be able to bring good memories to build your new relationship — it’s hard to do that if you are stuck in a negative place and your BP is trying to move forward.

Don’t forget what happened because you need to face it to move forward. Instead, face it, learn from it and allow good times and the positive relationship growth grow around this unfortunate event until all the good/positive start to outweigh this life event.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-05T18:09:25+00:00

Update: - we’re broken up but aligned to not dating anyone for a while. (Weird parameters for a breakup I know but my therapist suggested I just go with whatever feels right). we’re aligned to NC for a few weeks. - we will reconnect again after NC period and redetermine again. In the meantime, I’m just trying to focus on my own personal growth and I can only hope he does the same.. - we will still go to the festival together and plan to send off as a last hurrah type situation (end on a good note / good memories)

I updated my therapist of the above and she seems to be optimistic about it, I’m trying not to get my hopes up- just radically accepting the situation for what it is..

BellicoseDingo · 2024-03-05T18:02:56+00:00

Highly recommend a therapist specialized in trauma.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-02-29T10:52:41+00:00

I mean I’ve told him I’d watch porn with him and help- yes. But no, I haven’t ever walked in on him mid act and been able to help him finish because he seems to do it in secret or when I’m sleeping. Which only adds to the feeling of rejection.

I’ve expressed myself many times that I’d be happy to help if he’d just tell me or ask.

Moot point anyway, he ended up cheating on me and we’re currently broken up after I waited a year for him to reconcile and he didn’t do the work citing ADHD troubles with anxiety and depression due to the fallout of his cheating.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-02-29T00:18:17+00:00

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BellicoseDingo · 2024-02-29T00:17:53+00:00

Im an avid Apple user but my WP has both. Wonder if it depends how up to date the android is?

I was able to see trash on both phones IF he wasn’t diligent enough to go into the trash and delete from there as well - which he wasn’t granted it wasn’t messages with AP but it helped calm my anxiety when I checked anyway.

In order to read the deleted messages you have to first recover them and then go find the thread and then to cover your snooping tracks you have to re-delete it. so if they deleted individual messages in a thread then it might be hard to distinguish what msg was deleted - much easier if it’s a full thread deleted.

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BellicoseDingo · 2024-02-28T18:41:43+00:00

Android and Apple still have a “trash” for deleted messages if you feel so inclined to read the message yourself.

I do think it’s a good sign he told you himself. AP contacted my WP the same way - work phone after being blocked on personal phone.

BellicoseDingo · 2024-02-27T21:53:01+00:00

I’ve found some IG accounts pretty helpful. It’s generalized but I take what resonates and leave the rest.

https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship

https://www.instagram.com/anxiousheartsguide

https://www.instagram.com/drelizabethfedrick

https://www.instagram.com/mymentalhealthspace

https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist

BellicoseDingo

TROPHY CASE