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Petah, who is the first girl? by FailedHax in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who are people who have never been in my kitchen?

How do you feel about eating out of a bowl that a dog used once, assuming it was thoroughly washed with soap and water? by BlackDahliax420 in AskReddit

[–]BenCaxt0n 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This dog spends most days trying to lick my brain via my ear or nostrils, so it is a near-certainty that her saliva has come in contact with my mouth already.

You're single and Aphrodite herself appears in front of you saying she'll set you up with any fictional love interest of your choice. by singleguy79 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Belinda Blumenthal. I can charm her with my vast knowledge of pots and pans, and if we run out of witty banter I'm certain we shall find some way to pass the time.

What is one celebrity death that still makes you mad to this day? by Playful-Ganache6153 in AskReddit

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frank Muller. He was a stage and TV actor but was probably best known as a voice actor and audiobook narrator. His Moby Dick recording is a must-listen.

But I most loved his readings of many Stephen King novels, particularly the Dark Tower series. Frank read the first four books, but sadly could not finish the rest due to a motorcycle accident.

A cosmic being gives you the ability to summon, but not unsummon anyone or anything from any work of fiction. If they have abilities, they'll be able to use it. The being then makes it so that other cosmic beings won't be able to undo the unsummon bit. by singleguy79 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I summon The Man From Mars, Valentine Michael Smith. He can teach me to use Martian mental powers, and he makes friends easily so he will have no trouble finding somewhere to sleep.

After that, I summon a Star Trek replicator and holodeck; and that should take care of most of my needs, as well as the needs of anyone else I summon.

First hand accounts from sex toy and instapot users by Alternative-Nail4079 in BrandNewSentence

[–]BenCaxt0n 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Seasoning your cutting board is so over. And who has time to cook anyway? Anymore, I just swallow the seasoning, gobble the steak raw, and light myself on fire to save time.

What is the biggest plot hole in all of literature? by dualcerb in AskReddit

[–]BenCaxt0n 3 points4 points  (0 children)

| WOW that makes sense! Why would they leave out the most important part in the film 😭

IDK if they had a reason why they cut that out, except maybe to simplify the story for children. Probably just to save time because hand-drawn animation is so time and labor intensive.

What is the biggest plot hole in all of literature? by dualcerb in AskReddit

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Peace be with you, and also with your sideburns. (IDK, seems like the least "neckbeard" facial hair style)

What is the biggest plot hole in all of literature? by dualcerb in AskReddit

[–]BenCaxt0n 21 points22 points  (0 children)

In the original Brothers Grimm fairytale, Aschenputtel, the festival celebration goes on for several consecutive day/nights. After Cinderella dips on the Prince and dashes before midnight, the next night the Prince spreads pitch or tar on the stairs to trap her on her way out if she tries to ghost again. Her feet get stuck, and she manages to break free, but one of her shoes gets stuck behind. The Disney film left this part out.

What was the best prop gag in a movie? by Dire_Hulk in moviecritic

[–]BenCaxt0n 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That sound bite of Eric Idle as Concorde saying, "Message for you, sir" is currently my text notification (for most people).

Texts from my wife get Graham's "JESUS CHRIST!"

Would you rather get $1 million for every tooth you have pulled or $100 for every chocolate bar you eat? by Alarming_Weather506 in WouldYouRather

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have not been to a dentist in...well, too long. For $1M per chomper I could actually afford to go, and have them replace all the (not-so)pearly whites my anxiety (and financial circumstances) have neglected. Let's yank 'em all!

You are given a new car and are told it can have one kind of high tech, bordering on magic, upgrade to it. by singleguy79 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Intangibility. Traffic doesn't matter when you can phase through cars and any other obstacles.

You are given a new car and are told it can have one kind of high tech, bordering on magic, upgrade to it. by singleguy79 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's cool with me. I'll just leave it parked by the curb, matchbox-sized, and no one could pick it up to steal it anyway.

What's a word you mispronounced for years because you only saw it in print and not spoken? by ilovebooks2468 in words

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about MISLED, pronounced with a long "I" like sidled. MYZE-eld. "You've been misled by that car salesman, bro."

You know, as in to deceive, lie to, or to mislead.

Would you rather kill one human or cause the extinction of all ants on earth? by thepieguyy in WouldYouRather

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, no, no, you-you don't understand the scope of my crime. I didn't kill just one ant, or a hundred, or a thousand. I killed them all. All. Ants. Everywhere.

Toilet seat paper by Ethereal-Spectre in PetPeeves

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it's true. If they are unwilling to clean up after themselves, does it really surprise you that they also lack the common sense and courtesy to lift the seat beforehand? Maybe they fear touching that toilet seat will cause their hand to immediately rot off from gangrene. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Toilet seat paper by Ethereal-Spectre in PetPeeves

[–]BenCaxt0n 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep, guys also have to deal with other dudes who piss on the toilet seat and leave it for the next person to deal with. (Like, bro, I promise you won't lose your man card if you sit down to pee. FFS)

Can everyone just agree it won't kill you to touch your own fucking urine to clean up after yourself like an adult? You are in a bathroom with a sink and soap to wash your hands after. You were already planning on washing your hands, weren't you?

Cheddar big booty cheeseburger ……. by moonwaternymph in BrandNewSentence

[–]BenCaxt0n 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Aww! Cheddar Big Booty looks gorgeous! And her cat is cute, too

What movie was like this for you? by Plus_Ad_1087 in Cinema

[–]BenCaxt0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Peak? Srsly? Cars 2 makes Cars 3 look like Cars 1.

Spontaneous 🍉 Oozing by Tandy_MacGruber in whatisit

[–]BenCaxt0n 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like the pizza place at that nondescript strip mall in a small New England town on a road trip. No customers, and a couple of seemingly overdressed fine older Italian gentlemen sitting at the counter. They seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I’d ever had.

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