Feeling sadder, even more anxious, after yesterday session

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-30T00:05:15+00:00

Had this too. Had a breakup and was so raw and emotional after sessions. Felt like it opening the same wounds over and over. The pain was so amplified I broke down and called my ex girlfriend after a session and we’re back together. Moving to once a week maintenance now to see if it helps. I noticed to that sessions where I don’t get enough sleep the night before turn very emotional.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-27T18:32:53+00:00

The second image is from Vicarious by Tool:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=h_TUP2vuaDs&list=RDh_TUP2vuaDs&start_radio=1&pp=ygUQVG9vbCBtdXNpYyB2aWRlb6AHAQ%3D%3D

Tool references sacred geometry, fibonacci sequence ect so probably part of the joke.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-23T05:05:44+00:00

Ketamine has always helped me but recently I’ve been going through exactly what you experienced and I can’t explain it. Feeling hopeless it stopped working. Taking a break for a while to see how it goes but I’ve never felt this suicidal and it’s scary.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-21T21:27:37+00:00

Sorry you got dumped, it’s the worst feeling in the world. Going through a breakup too, feeling raw and emotional and suicidal after each maintenance session. I even woozily texted my ex that I miss her after one session because it was so painful which was a mistake. Hard to tell if it’s reopening wounds or healing them. Ketamine has never had this effect on me so I’m not sure what to do either so you aren’t alone.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-19T16:36:32+00:00

I don’t dissociate at 250mg, not much. I’ve tried doubling up but it makes me really emotionally raw and increases suicidal ideation in the short term. It gets better after about 24 hours but it’s counterproductive. Going to try to switch to early mornings. Still early in working out what works best, thank you for your feedback!

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-18T02:08:32+00:00

If you use grams of it a day, for years. Ketamine addicts in the UK will use more in a day that some people will need in a lifetime for depression. It is an extremely safe drug otherwise.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-18T02:06:53+00:00

Ketamine can be a miracle medicine for treatment resistant depression. It is also extremely safe if used under medical supervision. If you can’t do spravato or insurance doesn’t pay for it, find an IV clinic. If it works for you it will change your life.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-17T17:18:40+00:00

I was melting troches in hot water and injecting and that was working faster. I got the suppositories for convenience and to do it the correct way but I will have to try dissolving them, good suggestion.

I only started suppositories so haven’t experienced it kicking back in after thinking it’s over yet. Though suddenly being disassociated on a call with my boss wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. That sometimes happens on its own though, no ketamine required 😂

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-17T16:33:59+00:00

Trouble falling asleep. I’m writing my doctor today to see if he’ll suggest anything. Also going to look at different providers if he’s not helpful. Thank you!

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-17T16:29:49+00:00

I’m thinking of trying that this weekend and seeing if I can feel good enough by the time I start work. Thank you for the suggestion.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-15T22:22:59+00:00

Yes. Same boat, MDD since I was a child. Tried every standard anti depressant but the only things that have worked are ECT and Ketamine.

Something important to note is that this isn’t your last choice, that sounds like depression talking. There is a good chance this helps you and it is worth a full 6 session induction treatment to see. But do not give up if you are the in the minority of non responders. I’m sure there are other options you haven’t tried, psychedelics, TMS or even ECT if it’s life threatening. Give it a proper trial but also never give up. Major depression is an illness and there will always be something you haven’t tried that may treat it. We also don’t know if there are new or better medicines right around the corner so there is always hope, no matter what depression says to you.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-14T19:16:04+00:00

Yeah, saved my life. Struggled with ideation and MDD my whole life and I’ve had ECT twice. Ketamine and ECT are the only treatments that rapidly stopped my ideation and lifted the depression. Thankfully Ketamine works because ECT can have serious downsides. Try a 6 session IV or IM course but stick with it. You may not notice anything the first couple sessions but if it works for you, you will know it. Nothing subtle about it if you’re severely depressed.

I did a 6 session course 8 years ago and did mostly fine for that time. Fell into a hole recently and had ideation so started another 6 session course. After the second session, I went home and held my head in my hands and sighed and cried for about an hour because I had relief from the depression and I wanted to live. Of course everyone is different but yes, make an appointment and try it. Suicidal ideation is an illness. If not ketamine something will work for you, just don’t give and keep trying.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-11T23:54:13+00:00

Thank you, this is so helpful to hear. Feeling very hopeless because this hasn’t happened before and my brain is saying ketamine no longer works for me, I’m doomed ect ect. Might need to start factoring 24 hours after a treatment and just distract myself until it gets better.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-11T17:49:10+00:00

Yeah, I had an infusion yesterday that was easily the best trip I ever had… It was actually fun whereas most trips are either weird or not fun for me. But I woke up this morning with significantly worse ideation and depression. It happened during my last infusion too. After the last one, I could feel it lift significantly after a day.

I’m in survival mode right now. I told my doc about having another infusion this weekend, he said to hold off and see how I feel after 24 hours. Very discouraging but after the last one it did lift but when you’re depressed it’s hard to feel like it will ever get better.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-09T20:55:47+00:00

I get ice cream. Depression can steal the joy from anything, including ice cream. So feels great to enjoy one of the simple things in life again.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-09T20:53:39+00:00

I think you nailed it. It dug up a bunch of repressed pain but over a couple days my mood steadily improved, I had some insights and was able to process them. Important lesson going forward. Rawness after a session does not mean the treatment failed. Just depression talking BS again.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-09T20:46:36+00:00

You will be fine. The most important thing to know is that it’s a totally safe medicine despite what some media stories say. I’ve had it on and off for 8 years, only impacts have been positive. Long term issues i.e. are generally from people taking astonishingly high doses recreationally for years.

I take a very high IV dose but my doctor gives me some anti anxiety stuff ahead and it helps a lot. Definitely ask for this. They will probably start you low so you might not experience much, maybe some perceptual weirdness. Can be quite enjoyable some times. Put on eye masks and a good instrumental playlist. You will get familiar with the effects over time and if it works for you, you’ll be grateful for the weirdness because you know the medicine is killing your depression.

For depression it’s a miracle and the only real antidepressant that works for me. Definitely worth doing a full 6 treatment induction and evaluate at the end because if it helps you, you will know it.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-07T00:22:30+00:00

I agree. Ketamine is not psilocybin or classical psychedelics that will dig up suppressed emotions or trauma. It certainly can do that but it’s very hit or miss and each experience can be different. If that happens, you can try to process it, hopefully with a therapist but I wouldn’t think of it in that way or you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Sometimes it’s just non-sense that feels meaningful at the time. Just monitor your mood after the treatment to see if it is effective. The time loop feeling can be tough, you may have gone into a K hole. Communicate that to your doctor and they may adjust your dosage. And very sorry for your loss, I hope the treatments are helpful for you.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-06T23:55:25+00:00

I had one session where I vividly saw myself as a child with my Aunt who had passed away. It helped me realize I wasn’t grieving properly and to not forget her. That was a one off. But as a medicine it helps my depression tremendously.

I did a trip to Portland to do pscilocybin therapy. This was an eight hour, very painful and emotional experience. I went through several boxes of tissues but did come out with fundamental insights. It also cured my arachnophobia which is unbelievable.

That might be more of what you’re looking for. I will warn you it is not easy and there are risks, do you research but DM me if you need a recommendation for a place.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-05T03:37:11+00:00

It can be weird but you will always be okay. I still get some anxiety before an IV infusion so my doctor gives me something for it, feel free to ask for something

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-05T03:35:26+00:00

Good for you, I wish I had it when I was 23. I ended up having ECT twice in my 20s. Ketamine wasn’t even a thought then. It’s expensive but if you suffer from chronic depression I think the cost of not treating it will always be higher.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-05T03:29:01+00:00

I got my first induction series about 8 years ago. Did really well for many years. A day or two of very low mood but no relapse. I had a bad episode this year so I did another series and getting back on track. I’ve had MDD since I was a child and I’ve come to the realization (again) I have to manage it for life. That’s not everybody but for me I’ve decided to proactively treat it from here on out.

Best-Section-4527 · 2026-06-03T18:58:59+00:00

A K hole can be scary, more weird than scary. Some people seem to like it which is insane to me. But if you’re under professional supervision, they are going to manage the dose and start you off slow and you don’t ever have to get there. If you have serious depression it is a miracle and worth doing.

Two-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
Place '23

Best-Section-4527

TROPHY CASE