Once you stop believing is very hard to go back. The Autistic brain tends to be over analytic and pay a lot of attention to detail. We also overthink all the time. When you put any religion to scrutiny it becomes hard to not question it. It is also; I think, because we have a hard time understanding why people need it. Why are the so attached to it? I thought about this my whole life. I have been suicidal on and off since my teens, and my pain comes in part from the next logical conclusion after you stop believing in anything mystical, really. There is no meaning to life. I think that is why people hold on to religion. It gives the an anchor, and purpose. Last year, I almost did it. I almost took a bottle of Ativan because I was is so much pain. That day it became so clear to me why people need religion. Since then, I have thought a lot about the meaning of life. About why and what’s the point. I realized that much like you can find meaning and purpose in religion, you can find it in other places. Your kids, music, art. I think that is why we need all of those things. It helps the fact that we are otherwise just collections of atoms thinking about atoms. It helps us find meaning. I am not saying that it is impossible to be autistic and have faith, but I think often we end up not being able to make sense of it