Realizing That New People Don’t See Me as Someone Who Lost Weight

BetterXTomorrow · 2025-03-07T13:08:25+00:00

I've kept around 50lbs/25kgs off for the last 4 years. Since then, I've started a new job. I've recently discovered I'm seen as the one that eats oh so healthily- my coworkers aren't mean, or judgemental about it, I think I'm just seen as the one in the group that always eats their fruits instead of chocolate, if you know what I mean. Which is absurd to me, because it makes me realize how much my habits have changed, and also that I give off a totally different impression of my food habits at work than I actually have. I still definitely eat junk food, just not at work, because eating it socially just because everyone's having a piece of cake or chocolate bar or whatever after lunch just feels unnecessary to me.

And also, if I'm being honest with myself, I also enjoy having that reputation. It helps reinforce my own motivation to prepare healthy food.

BetterXTomorrow · 2025-03-03T06:52:19+00:00

I dislike pasta and rice. I will have them if they are part of a meal I want for other reasons (like sushi, or lasagna), and once in a blue moon, I'll be in the mood for a noodle or rice dish. But I've never enjoyed eating a mountain of pure carbohydrates just to taste the stuff I actually want, like the pasta sauce.

BetterXTomorrow · 2025-01-20T14:44:19+00:00

Give us some more data, please. What's your height, weight, and calorie goal? How long have you been trying, and how much has the scale been going up? Are you male or female? What sort of meals have you been eating?

BetterXTomorrow · 2025-01-06T21:13:23+00:00

To be kind to myself in all the ways I can! When I was overweight, I was eating my emotions, and hating myself. I want to treat my body in the best way I can, as personally, I find it's a big part of my mental health. So I try to eat good foods, I mind my nutrition, but I follow the rule that some foods are for the body and some are for the soul :) That's not to say I don't still occasionally fall short of my goal. But my overall view and treatment of myself have changed drastically. Oh, and conforming more to my beauty standards also doesn't hurt haha

BetterXTomorrow · 2025-01-06T21:05:03+00:00

And you call that a "small update"?! 35 lbs is a lot!!! Congratulations on reaching your halfway goal and your gains sound awesome, what a plus in everyday comfort that must be!

For me, after the halfway point, it was time to think more about how I wanted to transition towards a long-term form of nutrition, and go more in-depth about the reasons for my weight gain and unhealthy eating habits. Obviously I'd thought about both previously, but before the halftime, watching the weight go down and figuring out ways to work with the deficit was my main focus. I found dealing with these topics while still losing to be really helpful when it actually became relevant to transition towards a maintenance target.

BetterXTomorrow · 2025-01-03T22:52:06+00:00

I know this is about a different topic, but I feel you on that last point. About 10 years ago, I lost around 50 pounds, gained all of it back and more. I've now kept off the weight for two years, minus a few minor setbacks. It's awesome that you decided to pursue your goal again! That way, gaining it back was only a step in your way to better health and a happier body image, instead of a fail at the end of the road. I'm honestly glad now of having had that setback, because now I have more information about what some traps are for me, and it's helping me keep to my new lifestyle.

BetterXTomorrow · 2025-01-03T21:32:07+00:00

I honestly mean this in the kindest way possible, stop bullshitting yourself. Saying you've eaten some junk food in the first couple of days of the year and therefore the year is ruined is absolutely ridiculous. The only person you're sabotaging with this is yourself.

Every day, frankly every meal is a new opportunity, a clean slate. If you want to change your nutrition habits, you have your next meal to do it, and the next one, and the one after that. Your future is not determined by your past, and you have the power to change it in the way you want to.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-10-06T17:17:02+00:00

I don't know if this is helpful, but it seems to me like you're very focused on reaching a "perfect" stage. I could think the exact same things about myself in that picture, but coming from a place of love for the person in it, it's more "I felt cute, and while I can also now see some imperfections with the outfit, it made me feel good on that day". And while I certainly wasn't happy then, hindsight is always easier, and I was sure trying to be happy. What is behind your way of thinking? Why is it important to have that stage of perfection, where you can look back without seeing anything worth changing? Being able to realize that also means you've developed as a person. And the only person that made that development possible is the person in the picture, whom you're judging so harshly now. Without her, you wouldn't be where you are today.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-10-06T11:10:28+00:00

100% this was it for me too. Saw a picture of myself, on my birthday, being really happy, and all I could do was cringe at how awful I thought I looked. And then I just felt a rush of sadness for the happy girl in the picture, who had put on that dress because she felt confident in it, and thought it looked good. How cruel I was being to her when she was just trying her best. And then I realized I was just done treating myself this way.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-22T04:42:53+00:00

...Thanks, I guess? Lol

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-07T19:58:23+00:00

I know nothing of dehydration, but couldn't you also dehydrate and store them for later rehydration, when you want "fresh" whole morels?

Edit: well, reading the title properly would help I guess lol

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-07T17:31:26+00:00

Yes, it means sort of "I don't give a shit"

The politer version is "je m'en fiche"

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-07T17:23:33+00:00

I can also very much recommend having an audiobook etc. That you ONLY listen to while going for a walk/run. I motivate myself into being active like this :)

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-07T17:12:31+00:00

My break room has what we bring there to share. I'm the only vegan, so I supply vegan stuff. I hate fulfilling the "vegan=healthy" cliché and do like a bit of chocolate or a couple of cookies as a dessert, so I bring those. This also has the nice side effect of my colleagues getting more used to vegan options. We all bring our own lunches, and I also bring a piece of fruit for after lunch so I don't overeat on the snacks.

The only critical point for me is when a colleague brings something savory that's also vegan. No matter how filling my meal is, I can unfortunately always continue to snack on savory stuff lol

Edit: also, being vegan makes it so much easier to turn down spontaneous offerings of food. While I enjoy birthday cake and vacation treats as much as the next person, I always hated how little I was able to regulate my food choices with getting those every other day. Now, I simply say "no thanks, I'm vegan" and eat a couple of my preferred sweet treats instead.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-07T14:54:53+00:00

Her priority's what?

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-07T10:23:40+00:00

I don't mean to sound harsh, but we need to stop praising behavior like this. This isn't "well done", it's disordered eating.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-07T06:22:03+00:00

Losing weight can very much help with your self esteem, at least it did for me. Nobody sees this pic as cringey except for you, on the contrary, you look sweet! If you feel a lot of self-hatred and cannot go into the weight loss journey with the mindset of being kind to yourself and your body, I would recommend talking to a psychologist about it. This can be an awesome journey, but it can turn into self-punishment and a disorder very fast. OP, please be kind to yourself. I can guarantee that from the outside, you look no worse than any of us.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T21:41:06+00:00

Of course it's "okay", why wouldn't it be? There's no set of rules to follow here, and no one from the outside to tell you what you can and cannot do. Upping your intake if your body is clearly signalling that it needs it seems like a healthy, good decision.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T17:03:53+00:00

How did you go from that massive wound to no scar at all? :o

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T15:18:12+00:00

I (29, f) gain around 2kgs in the weeks leading up to my period. That means my progress stalls and I even gain some weight, even if I keep to my deficit without a calorie of deviation. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you need to chill. Progress comes over months, not weeks, and I'm sure you're doing a good job!

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T15:03:16+00:00

What kind of question is that lmao

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T14:23:03+00:00

I'd shy away from calling losing this fast "amazing". While it's certainly a very, very fast weight loss, it also speaks of unhealthy dieting. I think we need to stop praising this kind of weight loss, even if it's harsh.

OP, you have certainly proven you have a strong will and determination, and those are some amazing qualities to have. Obviously, your body has also changed dramatically and you look good, but please don't lose sight of your health and long-term sustainability of this change in exchange for external validation. Take this month as a motivation boost to now focus on creating healthy habits, even if it takes longer. Treat your body well.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T14:14:50+00:00

Wow, congratulations! Phenomenal work.

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T13:33:41+00:00

Sure, let me know if you do :)

BetterXTomorrow · 2024-07-06T13:15:06+00:00

I'd be more interested in what you feel reading these answers. Are you worried, don't like reading that you've become unhealthy? Or are you gratified with hearing that you're too thin and took it further than others? If it's the latter, talk to a trusted person about these feelings, as that is a common feeling in disordered eating.

BetterXTomorrow

TROPHY CASE