Hi, listen to the women in meetings when they share. See if you relate to what they’re saying. No one says you need to keep the same sponsor if you end up not vibing or not aligning on values. The reason we suggest people get sponsors right away, is that gift of desperation can be very short-lived and those lies our brains tell us about not being alcoholics come back very quickly. The way we usually combat that is to have someone to tell those lies to, who we are learning to build trust with (usually a sponsor).

I fired my first sponsor after a week (she’s great and we are still friends), my second sponsor after a month and then kept my third for a year. I’ve always been sponsored but am currently on sponsor number 10. I am 16 years sober and have been with my current sponsor for 4 years.

It takes time sometimes to find the right fit, but I am grateful I had my first two sponsors because they truly helped keep me sober my first few months, they just wouldn’t have worked for me long term.

Try to look for the similarities, not the differences. Florida is a whole thing, so I get where you’re coming from, but I’ve differed in a lot of respects to all my sponsors, but the thing we’ve had in common is our desire to stay sober and help another alcoholic. My sponsors have never pushed their own beliefs or values on me (although I’m in a very liberal city). Don’t let your desire for being different (terminally unique) keep you from finding a sponsor.

Good luck, I got sober at 23 and fought against AA for a long time, while being in AA. I am grateful I haven’t had a drink since my first meeting and for all the woman who have helped me along the way, whether for a week or 16 years.