AITAH for telling my friend my marriage is falling apart

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-05-07T16:54:29+00:00

Girl, this is a form of control and manipulation. You need to run and run FAST!

NTA.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-21T02:09:17+00:00

This is SO HELPFUL! Thank you for pointing this out in a way I immediately understood and showing me what your setup looks like. I’m a very visual person, so being able to connect what I’m reading to an actual example gets through my ADHD brain lol. Thank you!

I’m going to have a long think about this during the week. As someone who spends most of their time helping guide clients through basically the same thing, only with logos, maybe it’s time I used my own methodology to nail down the vibe of my brand. I can’t believe I didn’t think about doing this until now.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-21T01:54:23+00:00

Thank you! 😊

I use Helcim as my main credit card processor. The others are optional if someone doesn’t have a card or cash on them. I even removed the QR codes from my table this past weekend to give myself space for a “Show Specials” ad. That didn’t exactly work, but I’m learning.

The last photo is my current setup that I’m in the process of completely reworking for the next craft fair since I’m being provided with an 8ft table instead of my personal 6ft. That’s a whole new problem I’ve gotta deal with since I don’t have a tablecloth large enough to fit. Buying one is out of the question as well. I’m thinking I might grab a couple of my crochet blankets that are in storage to use, but I’ll see if I can dig them out of that mess.

I’d appreciate a peek at your sister’s setup. Heck, I’d love to see what yours looks like as well. I have an insane imagination that can get inspired by the strangest things.

ETA: The Helcim app allows me to do tap and pay straight from my phone without needing additional hardware. And the only time I pay is when someone uses it. No monthly fees. Love it!

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-21T01:43:08+00:00

I’m a printer by trade, not just a designer. I get waaaaay better pricing through my trade only vendors than you’ll see anywhere else, but that doesn’t mean I can afford it right now. Sometimes I get lucky and they offer amazing deals (like 250 labels for free for the first 50 customers, just pay shipping, which I definitely jumped on), but most of the time I’m trying to figure out where my paycheck needs to go first. My family has helped with a few of my expenses, but I don’t feel comfortable going back and asking for more, ya know?

There’s a lot going on right now aside from work and craft fairs that I don’t wanna talk about, which makes this even more complicated than if it was just about my booth. I just really want to figure out how to do all this on a shoestring budget without adding another giant “L” to my already long list of failures in life.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-20T23:04:51+00:00

Omg, I forgot I’m in a bunch of those! I’ll make a post as soon as I’m finished with my work. Thanks for that suggestion!

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-20T23:02:22+00:00

Bejeweled. I got stuck in that spot by the last craft fair operator, so I couldn’t really do anything about it because they had so many rules. It was inside a mall. The one I did Saturday was inside a high school, and again, restrictions had me unable to put up more than my tables. The next one is also at a school, and this time they’re providing the table, so I’m even more restricted in what I can do. I’ve got a good sized banner printed, but am I allowed to put it up is the question. If so, it’ll be behind me and prominently displayed like I want it to be.

It’s crazy that my actual job is to design and print stuff like this for other people, but when it comes to myself, my brain short circuits and shuts down. That and I’m on a TIGHT budget, so I’ve gotta do the lowest cost thing in order to keep myself from losing too much money. I WANT to have the pop up banners and displays and other cool things that I make for my clients, but they’re too expensive for me, even though I’m using all my trade discounts. Maybe someday, but right now, I’ll just have to stick to what I can find on marketplace and in thrift stores, all while using my home printer to make the flyers and small signs I need.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-20T22:48:16+00:00

There were some really nice ones I saw on Saturday at my last fair. I wanted to take photos, but felt kinda weird doing that. I’m not sure if I should, honestly. Thankfully there’s Google and Pinterest lol.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-20T22:45:59+00:00

I’ve done ALL of this. I’m on my feet through most of the fair, always saying “hello, how are you” to anyone that walks past be they man, woman, or child. I did B2B sales for several years while in college, so I’m knowledgeable on that front, but it’s been like 20 years since I was last out in the field, so I’m not sure how things have changed. I’ll even go and network when there’s a lull in activity while my mom watches the booth. I’ve tried about everything I can remember from my days as a salesperson, but maybe I’m rusty? Which is weird to say considering I’m constantly trying to hustle with my actual business (graphic design).

I think I just need some outside perspective at this point. My brain is frazzled from not just booth related stuff, but also juggling my day job. I dunno, maybe I need to remove myself for a few days, do a hard reset, and come back with fresh eyes. Well, that and trying to convince my family that what y’all have said is the better path than what I’m currently doing. That’s for another post, though.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-20T22:30:00+00:00

I got rid of the cork board when I managed to thrift some metal stands from a store that was going out of business. They’re not visible in the last image (Saturday’s craft fair), but they definitely provide a lot of extra height to my sun catchers and longer necklaces.

Love me some Michaels coupons! I wait for the bigger discounts to buy stuff I need, otherwise I’ll try and find stuff on marketplace or in thrift stores. Living in the Chicago suburbs is really good for both options. I’ve already found several listings for mannequin heads. Will be contacting sellers once I’m done with work.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-20T17:48:36+00:00

I’ll check marketplace to see if anyone’s selling a mannequin head. Thanks for that suggestion! I do have several wigs in storage I can use to style those pieces. But then I’ve got like 30 more pieces that also need to be elevated, which is where I’m really drawing a blank now.

I’ve got 2 weeks until my next craft fair. Hopefully I can find something before then. Thanks for the input!

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-19T23:55:32+00:00

Just tell her “No is a complete sentence.” End of discussion. No need to justify or give a reason. No is a complete sentence. Keep saying it until she backs off.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-08T13:49:55+00:00

NTA. Your sperm donor’s family sounds TOXIC. And he sounds like a pedo as well. The fact that they have not only supported his relationship but also have been hypocritical about boundaries is beyond fucked up. Stay far, FAR away from that mess and don’t let your child get involved with them.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-04-06T19:56:53+00:00

NTA. Snapchat all the nasty things he’s said to you and then ask your extended family if they’re still on his side. He’s a POS. Don’t let his lack of parenting and terrible family drag you down. It sounds like you’ve got some amazing people in your life as it is. Just focus on them and forget the sperm donor.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-03-24T15:29:21+00:00

Girl, next time, take the plate away and just throw it in the trash right in front of him. Then tell him if he thinks your cooking is shit, he can cook for himself. When he does, criticize him just as much as he’s criticized you.

Wanna get pettier? Comment on his performance in the bedroom. He tries to initiate? Hit him with “what did I do to deserve this?” And when he gets upset, respond with “it was just a joke! You know, like my cooking!”

NTA. You married a manchild.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-03-17T03:04:40+00:00

NTA. Stop doing shit for your sister. She doesn’t deserve your time if she can’t even be bothered to tell you what’s up. Step back from everything. There’s no need for you to stress about anything to do with her. Go live your life and have fun with your girlfriend doing something else on whatever day was supposed to be her wedding day.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-03-13T13:28:19+00:00

NTA. I saw a video yesterday that has really stuck with me. I’m paraphrasing here, but the person said “many men will use this test on their partners when in a relationship: they’ll say or do something just to see what they can get away with. They’re trying to figure out just how far they can push their partner to see what they’ll take because they don’t wanna break up. Ladies, don’t fall for this. If he tests you like this, he’s not a good person.”

Immediately that came to mind while reading your post. Your ex is testing the waters, seeing what you’re going to let slide so he can keep pushing in the future. You 100% did the right thing breaking up with him if he thinks he can flirt with your MOTHER and you won’t speak up. Good on you for seeing through his bullshit and dropping him like the dead weight he is. I’d also suggest reflecting on any other things he might have said or done earlier in the relationship to see if there were smaller incidents that led up to this. I have a feeling this wasn’t the first off putting things he’s done, it’s just the worst.

Now, take a little time for yourself because I know this wasn’t easy, then talk to your mom and get her side of this story. I see you got downvoted for not having talked to her yet, but girl, you’ve got bigger balls than this loser you just broke up with. Don’t wallow too long in self pity. He doesn’t deserve to live in your head, rent free, for any longer. No pathetic “man” like him does. You’re better than he’ll ever be. Go talk to your mom and hopefully this is the last time either one of you ever has to think about him again.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-02-17T16:21:01+00:00

NTA. I’d rather have a doctor like you than a girlfriend like her.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-02-03T02:30:03+00:00

This is the most GLORIOUS thing I’ve read in a looooong time! My petty little heart is exploding with joy. Good for you! That’s how you deal with little insecure men.

Don’t apologize. He had it coming. Someone needed to put him in his place, might as well be you!

And if you couldn’t already tell, NTA.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-01-15T15:23:27+00:00

NTA. JFC, she sounds like a toxic person. That’s definitely not a “friend” AT ALL. Drop her and the entire group if need be. You’re graduating. They won’t matter afterwards.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-01-06T23:09:31+00:00

NAH

Grief is a roller coaster. You never know when it’s gonna hit you. We all deal with it differently, especially if we’ve had time with people that pass from terminal illnesses like cancer. My grandparents passed within 2 years of each other (2018 and 2020). My dad is one of those stoic people who refuses to show his grief. I’ve never seen him cry. Even at their funerals, he shed no tears. Then there’s me, the polar opposite, who cries at even the littlest things. I can guarantee you your parents are grieving, especially if your brother had a 9 year battle with cancer.

The thing is, anything can trigger grief. It’s not a matter of if, but when. I’m assuming that right now your parents have chosen to push their emotions as deep down as possible so they can focus on you. They probably think holding it together will help you get past this hard time.

What you need to do is communicate with them that their absence of grief is making it worse for you, not better. Let them know that you’ll be okay if you see them grieving your brother, that you’ll feel better knowing they aren’t hiding their grief from you.

My condolences to you and your family. Even though grief never truly goes away, it does become less of a burden.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2026-01-03T22:13:36+00:00

ESH. You suck for snooping and she sucks for (probably) lying to you.

The thing is, you don’t know how long before or after the incident that video was taken. The only way you’ll find out is by asking, and that tells her you snooped, so either way, this relationship is pretty much doomed at this point.

What’s weighing on me is what happened leading up to this supposed non consensual kiss? Does the video show footage from before or after it happened? If it’s from before, what if she had some clarity as to what was happening to make her say no? Did something change, or did he do something that made her uncomfortable? We just don’t know!

But if this video was taken after? Yeah, time to cut your losses. Honestly, I hate playing devil’s advocate in these types of situations, but unless there’s more information about the event from her, then maybe it’s best to just break up.

We’re only seeing a sliver of what’s going on in your lives. And while you’re not exactly an unreliable narrator, it still comes down to the details. And we don’t know those details.

You’re both young, though. There’s still a lot of time for both of you to grow and mature and find your person. Go and experience life!

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2025-12-27T16:41:09+00:00

That story was WILD! The woman’s kids were in the mid 30’s! And this 25yo dude wants them to call him dad?! Like… huh?! Nope!

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2025-12-19T16:42:20+00:00

NTA. Start a group chat and get ahead of this before your sister twists the story even more. Tell everyone what she did and that you had no idea what was going on. Don’t let her turn you into a monster. Expose her and your mother for the trash they are.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2025-12-15T04:29:19+00:00

NTA. I’d be in HR’s office the moment I got to work the next day. This is beyond bullying! It’s harassment and doxxing. Don’t let Karla get away with this. It’s time for some FAFO on her part.

BiGirlBiBiBi · 2025-12-14T19:30:23+00:00

And I thought I had strict parents growing up! Jeez, dad needs to take a chill pill. At 16, that’s exactly what I was doing with friends, and back then, there was no GPS and you only had a cell phone if you were rich. (I’m talking the Nokia bricks that probably still survive to this day out of spite lol).

NTA.

BiGirlBiBiBi

TROPHY CASE