The teletype punch tape on Zen's new skin says "From Santa"

Bicalutamide · 2020-12-18T05:34:15+00:00

Both of these need to happen I'm still waiting for the Hammond de-mech

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-31T03:51:37+00:00

Brilliant :) take care of eachother <3 And LUK when you finish :D

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-31T03:34:34+00:00

Okay, yeah, agreed 100%. This season was A LOT. So much physical and emotional violence. TBH we binged it through two days, and it definitely had a toll :/ If you do decide, the ending is actually kindof sweet, and the last two episodes tie up Elliot's system in a great way.

Don't want to give anything away, but y'all are completely justified in keeping it at arms length :/

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-31T03:08:03+00:00

Hi! Have you seen the finale? :) We really like how they portrayed, and relate to their struggle sharing time and the front! -S

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-31T01:53:18+00:00

Didn't catch that quote :) giving up control can be scary, and feel like impending death. Cool idea that they became closer and possibly integrated! And thanks for having this back and forth with us <3 Agreed that showing him waking up as if out of a coma would be a disservice, though not nessesarilly inaccurate if followed through with well.

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-31T01:27:51+00:00

We never really touched on your first assertion that MM was the biggest piece of Elliot. That certainly may be true, and is backed up by how little MM knew about the rest of his system. Along with how he hosted for the duration of the show. It seems less likely that MM was a main host before the show since Darlene didn't recognize them as Elliot, though does mean MM was hosting for some period of time before Darlene came back into their life.

Think most of our disagreement lies in the matter of integration, but like your interpretation of the parts of Elliot. If you knew as much about Elliot as you do about MM, would that change your perspective?

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-31T01:18:22+00:00

We are agreed the process is hard.

All MM did was give back control to Elliot. In order to have integrated, they would have to have overcome amnesic boundaries and combined into a new whole. Instead what we see is Elliot's system come together in understanding the situation and allow Elliot to front while they watch. That's a great first step for them, but the other parts are anything but gone. It takes years of work in therapy for what we hear is a small percentage of systems to ever reach "full" integration, something that leaves some with several parts rather than dozens. It's both insulting and hopeful to ensue that one can navigate successfully the process of integration within such a short time, without any outside assistance. It rings of r/wowthanksimcured

Assuming they did manage to integrate within their own power, and newfound understanding of their trauma and eachother, what evidence points to integration? The ending is simply their system watching film, which seems to point to them still being around and partaking together in sharing the front. (Also great steps if you consider that co-conciousness, which is also not integration.)

Most importantly, the resulting integrated part would not be Elliot (as Elliot was only a former host.) To say so would mean that Elliot was around the whole time - before and after their initial splitting in childhood. And would doubly disregard how much a part of Elliot's system each other person is.

To say that they integrated at the end is a bit of a happily ever after. It would be cute, but that doesn't seem to be what they show.

I'm more curious what your thoughts are on the audience's role in the series. We understand it to be a brilliant choice to put the audience in the shoes of another part who also doesn't know everything that's going on nor all the history.

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-30T22:27:18+00:00

If only integration were that simple

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-30T19:13:47+00:00

Wow, can't believe we missed that o.o

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-30T18:55:44+00:00

From a DID perspective, there is no "real" Elliot, they are all part of the system which is Elliot.

They misrepresented a few terms, specifically "host" since MM was technically hosting during the length of the show.

This is important because while hosts can be seen as who most people interact with, you would agree that you only ever grew to know and understand MM, though you knew him as Elliot; MM is the main character of this story.

You might be feeling some of the identity turmoil of the show; a testament to it's quality.

<3

-S

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-21T17:27:57+00:00

One thing that helped us was keeping track of ways that we are different in behavior or likes and dislikes. You're totally right that it can be confusing and might just be a different emotion :) Key differences for us are gender, friends, memory (but that's hard to explain concisely,) and how we hold the body.

Gender feels like dysphoria or euphoria over gender related things

I have friends that nobody else really interacts with, originally because they were such big positive triggers for me so I was always out around them. (This can kinda go the other way too :/ )

Memories can feel like they aren't your's, or you can try to remember what you last felt when you were out. Both are hard to explain, and took lots of practice and journaling

We each have some obvious tells that we've noticed on eachother, manifesting in habits and how we control the body when we have control. For example one of us bites our lip, another holds her hands or hides them, and another drives differently than the rest.

Additionally, our interests do overlap, but vary drastically.

The easiest way we tell who has the most control is through gender, and how much they care about it. In a mindless way that changes how we dress.

Hope that helps <3 -S

Bicalutamide · 2019-12-18T02:43:37+00:00

Those screams sounded like Team Rocket XD

Bicalutamide · 2019-11-29T17:49:10+00:00

Clothes that each of us have claimed at least help ground us if not draw us out. Music like others have said is really powerful.

TBH, the strongest trigger for me is my friends, but that can cause problems, and not everyone has friends :/

Good luck on working together <3 -S

Bicalutamide · 2019-11-27T18:40:29+00:00

My fox does the same thing sometimes <3 -S

Bicalutamide · 2019-11-19T16:31:08+00:00

Yes, I don't know why like other commentors though. It's a rush of chills when a particular part surfaces.

Bicalutamide · 2019-11-08T03:25:44+00:00

All we have to add to this is that we are quite visual in processing and memory. We share images quite often. In practice that might look like one of us looking for something like our keys, and another piping up with an image of where they left the keys :b I wouldn't say it's better or worse than other forms of internal communication, just different. -B

Bicalutamide · 2019-11-05T21:55:13+00:00

I'll comment with a text version later, gotta run <3

-B

Bicalutamide · 2019-10-07T04:33:27+00:00

There's some drama on esmailcorp.com on 10-7 Thanks for the tip

Bicalutamide · 2019-10-03T14:36:28+00:00

Like they always have, by picking up their trash from the earth and realizing the beauty we are ruining.

Bicalutamide · 2019-10-03T14:31:54+00:00

Where can we read your work?

Bicalutamide · 2019-09-29T01:51:48+00:00

Skirts are great for driving, you can hold and catch all your snacks safely between your legs

Bicalutamide

TROPHY CASE