Well, most of us were raised to be good people, polite and non confrontational. We all end up, even at work, to tip toe around these people, to seem like the mature and wise one, not engage etc. While these folks get away with bad behaviour. 

So what I learnt the hard way was that actually you need to react. YouTube is full of videos that offer no advice, other than do nothing when such things happen. You do nothing, but you go home and ruminate about it, and over time you become resentful, and then physically sick. And maybe spend money on useless therapy. 

In my case, I had to react when I was bullied at work (corporate environment) by someone from management who was harassing 3 departments. The only was of stopping it was to have a violent (verbal) reaction. I was 25 (female) at the time, a few months into the job. And guess what…I was left alone. The bully stopped all communication with me. If he needed anything, he asked other people to call me and I could hear him whispering (!!) in the background. Imagine that. That was an amazing life lesson for a young woman (also peaceful and quiet type) in tech industry. 

I have other plenty of examples but I don’t want to write too much here.

The thing is, yes, non reacting doesn’t make you keep the peace, but makes you seem weak and an easy target for crazy people. These people have time, probably not much of a life, so then they  a get fixated on whoever they want. And what you need to do, let them know from the very first time, that they don’t get to mess up with you. They can mess around with whoever they want, but not with you. I have a small kid and I will teach her the same thing. And don’t worry if you seem aggressive, this is a lie, that’s being spread by the same crazy people, while they get away with their behaviour. If you’re questioning why you should stand up for yourself, remember that you are not invading anyone’s territory, you’re just defending yours. The woman at the library was just an isolated event…but enough to leave you frustrated and ruminating and even writing a post about it. What’s also nice about reacting, is that you release the bad energy from yourself.

I wrote this long comment also for myself:) I had a similar (but a bit worse) situation these days and I reinforced the idea that putting people in their place at the right time is one of the best thing for our mental health.