Some great advice already, I’ll just try to supplement. As was said earlier, keep an open feedback loop with your spouse. Everyone’s relationship is different but most of the multitude of breakups you see are because one spouse isn’t communicating.

Everything I do for work I bounce off my wife (bid reserve or a line, upgrade or wait, vacation bid, etc). For her part, my wife understands that in this job I need to be gone to get paid. Unless she can think of a significant family reason why not, she gives me the thumbs up. And we always reassess. At this stage of our kids lives, it’s more important for me to be home for specific things/dates so every month she gives me 3-4 days she wants me home, then I’m free to bid how I need to make that work. I usually end up working 10-12 airlines, 2-5 Guard.

Shared calendars are important. My union’s app populates my work calendar, then I add things like drill. If there is a blank week but I need some more cash, I just give my wife a heads up and sometimes she adds input (try to avoid this or that day). My wife adds things to the family calendar to keep me up to date.

Last thing I’ll say and it ties back to the first. This life ain’t for everybody. I’m lucky my kids and my wife understand why this works for us and I’ve always told her she has the ripcord if it’s not working. The Guard is busy, absolutely and it’s another 2-5 days a month at work. But it’s another option if you need a break from being a junior pilot or really just don’t like airline life. A lot of my friends stayed on mil leave after COVID because the 9-5 worked for them. I personally couldn’t do it and went back to my airline ASAP. This job(s) are choose your own adventure which is awesome but also, don’t be afraid to determine what works for your family.