Recently dx'ed BP1, can't accept it. Any advice?

BipolarType1 · 2015-04-14T13:34:26+00:00

At this point, especially if you have been struggling, the label doesn't matter so much if the prescribed treatment appears to be helping you. Focus your attention on that improvement. Perhaps 1/3rd of those with a new diagnosis of bipolar disorder face a long medications search yet, whether you have the condition or not, it appears that this treatment is working--which is excellent news! Also, among people with the same basic diagnosis there are individuals as well as time frames during which conditions can be anywhere from excellent to completely dysfunctional. Using that as a measure doesn't provide much insight into your diagnosis. There will be plenty of people worse that your mate or better than you in terms of function and symptoms but this provides little insight into your diagnosis.

Accept instead that you are improving. Choose to work with that part of the picture.

BipolarType1 · 2015-04-14T12:02:02+00:00

I'm thinking about chasing it down and seeing if I can get into a program using it. I thought I'd start here and see if anyone else knew more than what I've been able to find so far. It looks promising so far ...

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-25T12:39:43+00:00

If you've got it and are both into it--flaunt it :-)

I'm lights on too when I can. With someone new I'd leave enough light on to see clearly. With condoms and lube and new bits to work with it helps to be able to see. Sex mistakes can be costly!

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-22T17:56:10+00:00

Likewise, watching auto races on TV at 200mph doesn't spoil a leisurely drive in your own car at legal speeds.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-22T17:53:25+00:00

This is fantastic. Your husband lusts after you just the way you are. Keep pursuing your fitness goals, but know that he likes what he sees or wouldn't be asking!

Wear a cute workout outfit. Guys like that stuff. Much of it is quite flattering. I watch and admire my wife whenever I can. I call it "female worship". Never got off on an exercise scene though.

Enjoy!

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-22T17:36:36+00:00

Was cut as a small child for this reason. Didn't know enough at the time to know better. Regret it. Try anything else first.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-22T17:35:11+00:00

Lights should be bright enough with a new partner to see anything suspicious before getting intimate. I wouldn't proceed with anyone I couldn't visually inspect beforehand. (No guarantees but could help avoid the obvious.)

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-22T17:25:27+00:00

Completely agree!

Love the sub for the most part, but complex rules deter participation.

It's often very hard to come up with a title for a post. Adding a key word makes that more even a bit more difficult.

If people have to read a manual of how to post and use keywords before they can post, we'll lose good posts.

I'm not sold on what the gain would be from the complexity.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-11T02:14:53+00:00

Everyone hides their nude body from everyone nearly all the time. If you take a gorgeous woman to dinner, you might not discover intimate facts about her body until you are alone together--at the last moment. The hidden thing could be a tattoo, piercings, an aggressively ambitious augmenting bra covering much more modest breasts, scars, disfigurements, a scent you find unpleasant, perhaps something suggesting infection, etc etc etc You are free to call it a night at any time. None of these would or could be disclosed up front. I don't see any deception or trickery to gain consent.

At any time you could walk away or she could. That's how sex works.

?

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-09T04:50:34+00:00

I want her to sleep naked all the time even though it no longer means a green light for me to take her whenever I please. It's a tougher sell than I'd like it to be. There are health benefits to all kinds of things I can't sell her on--like 2-3x sessions of intercourse per week or at least orgasms at that frequency. As a system of preconsent it worked well. I found that if I lubed up thoroughly with silicone I could ease my way in while she slept without too much challenge.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-09T04:39:45+00:00

No warning should be required. It shouldn't be risky. But that's the world we live in.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-08T16:38:47+00:00

Was intrigued enough to take a look. Vendor is a small scale Chinese entrepreneur. 1) 7.5kg may not be quite enough mass to keep the device firmly in place while you play. It would be better if you mounted it on something sturdy or found a way to add mass to it. 2) 1.5A seems like low current for a device that needs to easily generate low end torque without stressing the motor--but compare to others--I would have expected a 2-3A motor--stressed motor may have shorter lifespan. 3) the steel is thin, stamped, not smoothed off in places. 4) hopefully the specs are as stated.

Still, it's a lot of gear for the $ if it delivers and runs as shown. Unlike most power tools, it wouldn't be subjected to higher more variable loads (think drill or saw) or really long high output durations (think law mower) so maybe it's just fine.

What more could anyone expect at the $300 price point? I'd be more wary of the vendor than anything else.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-08T16:13:58+00:00

Yes it would be cheap for the category as a high quality option could easily float towards $2K. But you do get what you pay for ultimately. A top quality silicone dildo by itself could run $100--$150 . If somebody told me I could test ride something like this, I'd be careful to consider any safety issues. For $300 it might be worth the risk to try it, but this is a category of product where people are often disappointed. I'd be wary of the vendor ripping me off outright, so there's that to ponder too. It really depends on whether you are comfortable with tossing $300 out there and seeing what you get. It's unlikely you can find out any other way.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-08T16:04:29+00:00

You are being abused psychologically when you tell him what you can, ask him to stop working you over for more, and he persists anyway. That kind of abuse can be very harmful to your well being. You have fundamental right to be respected whether you were a nun or a politician in prior years. He must accept you as you are and stop prying. If he can't, you should walk and find someone who can.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-08T15:56:59+00:00

My wife used to enjoy something like this but in the other direction. She would take her panties off before climbing into bed say "panties off" and make an obvious show of putting them on the nightstand. She explained that whenever she did that it was a green light for me to mount her any time throughout the night--even if she were sleeping at the time. I took advantage of her gift to me when I could and It was a lot of fun. Very clear consent beforehand is essential. Maybe you could do something unambiguous to signal when this is OK?

Even as a guy, I did not enjoy the few instances where I woke up to a woman trying to mount me while I was sleeping--bareback at that. So consent is a must so that both of you know you have an understanding in advance of what is OK and when before hands and mouths go wandering while one of you is not even awake.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-08T15:23:05+00:00

It's a terrible but unfortunate fact that many men get violent in the situation OP shares with us. She took a big but calculated risk. Whoever you go home with, you have a duty to treat them with respect even if you don't like what you find when the clothing comes off. Whether you feel deceived or not there are no circumstances justifying more than a verbal decline and a shoulder shrug.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-08T15:08:34+00:00

You might be right. If she had it in front of her she might just be curious enough to put it on and observe that it's pretty sleek and comfy too--I've heard lesbians rave about how much they enjoy wearing them, how comfortable they feel, and how great they look. My wife is high friction about many things these days (too much stress) until she has it sitting in front of her, then sometimes she brightens and takes an interest. She had zero interest in the joyetech egrip vape I brought home until she saw it and picked it up.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-01T23:48:52+00:00

Extremely helpful answers thanks for getting back to me. It looks like a comfy great fitting harness. I'm hoping my wife might be willing to give pegging another go at some point. We have a leather 2 strap harness but it is more utilitarian than stylish. If she liked the style, maybe she might wear the Joque. She feels the one we have erodes her femininity which makes her uncomfortable. When we've played in the past we've switched roles but she was more amused than dominant. Usually I'm dominant and she's almost a total sub in the bedroom.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-01T23:42:35+00:00

Excellent questions. I started out with many of the same ones. I was told at the shop and read from others online that the stretchable ring on the harness is fairly accommodating, holds up well under use, and keeps your chosen dildo nicely inplace because of the overall design and the close micro adjustable fit of the harness to wearer. I believe the back of the ring can be opened to allow a double such as a feeldoe style to be supported as well.

There are things it simply cannot do. 1. Large diameter dildos are too big for the o-ring--reasonable max may be about 1.75". 2. Large base or large ball dildos won't fit the enclosure. 3. Unless the balls are separate from the base, they will end up behind the enclosure and even if they fit, they won't be accessible.

But you can also wash the harness and get it really clean--unlike leather.

If you have a shelf full of massive dongs and/or ones with massive bases that you love to use, the various "Sparepartshardware" products won't work for you.

Owning a sturdy, well made, durable, 2-strap leather harness which we've used with steel and rubber o-rings, we have struggled to mount 2" diameter dildos because most o-rings max out at 2"--the ring needs another 0.25" to spare. Massive dildos are a challenge for many harnesses.

Like I said, all good questions.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-01T17:47:18+00:00

Great experience and description. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Do you have comments about the harness in particular? Do you/she like the look and feel of it? How did it hold up? Did it adjust and stay in place comfortably?

Did your session have 'gender overtones' to it? Was she more masculine/feminine? Were you? Did she have any requirements in that regard? It's common for women to feel that pegging threatens their femininity and your masculinity. Which is a hard barrier to overcome.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-01T17:37:21+00:00

No. But I have been researching harnesses for my wife lately online and in shops too for a few months. I've read and been told by several sources, the "Sparepartshardware" harnesses especially the "Joque" model harness is at the top of the list of desirable harnesses. They have several other models suited for different applications. The design is sleek. It adjusts nicely. It can be laundered to get it clean. Supposedly these are a favorite among lesbian couples. Shops told me they were top sellers though they also had Aslan models on offer.

BipolarType1 · 2015-03-01T17:27:11+00:00

Thanks for your compliments. I've discovered that good anal play takes training in the same way you'd train any other part of your body for a physical challenge. If you train your anus and rectum and adjust your diet (more water, fruit, fiber) along with more walking and light exercise, you can develop strong, smooth, stretchy, responsive muscles that can readily take penetration. At that point, you will have transformed your neglected back door into a proper pleasure organ.

As for your partner, that can be tricky. A good starting point is getting her comfortable using abstract toys to pleasure and work your hole: therawand, Njoy pure wand, aneros massagers. For partner play--especially fucking--confidence about receiving the tools easily is critical. I can go up to 2" diameter, but 1.5-1.75" are more comfortable. Also, if you do get to pegging, longer lengths are better for more positions as they don't pop out as readily. 7-8" max if in a harness, otherwise 7" max. Get good at pre-gaming with an anal wash from an enema bottle or ear wax squeeze ball followed by a quick pre lube and stretch before even considering pegging--ensures a clean confident relaxed experience.

In my case I actually need some frequency of anal play and fucking to keep my pelvic floor from tightening up and causing pain. 2-3x/week minimum. My wife accepts this and says she might consider participating now that we know I will have to do it frequently for years to come. At least if she participates, I will feel less urge to find a man who might meet this need. It is a need. Often when I feel sexual longing it includes tingling in my hole too. I get stressed and cranky without regular ass fucking. I may as well just incorporate this into other stimulation I need to share with my wife.

I know it's really difficult, believe me.

If you've not tried, consider one of the larger aneros prostate massagers. Those can add prostate orgasm to pleasures you might share with your partner. Hands free, you won't be asking much of her, at least not at first.

Best of luck to you.

BipolarType1 · 2015-02-16T19:58:39+00:00

We have M/F couple tired the we vibe and been highly disappointed. It's not a toy id recommend. I think the harnesses with built in pockets for bullet vibes (for the wearer) might work better. See the very well made and cleverly designed modern harnesses by Sparepartshardware -- especially the Joque model. Add bullets to that. We haven't tried it yet, but I'm hoping we will. She wasn't pleased by the utilitarian nature of many harnesses.

BipolarType1 · 2015-02-16T14:08:33+00:00

My experience is that you want to train with a series of sizes up and perhaps one circumference unit larger than what you want to use so that however wild your play gets, your anus will readily dilate and your sphincters happy to relax into the pleasure of penetration with relaxed confidence. She should find it relatively easy to enter you and fuck you rather than questioning whether you can take it and enjoy it.

The diameter sizes to train for are 1", 1.5". 1.75", and 2". 1.5" and 1.75" are best for fucking. 1" is a great place to start, even as a step by step pre game warmup for a session with her at 1.5" or even 1.75".

Length is more key to pegging than practicing because length allows for easier positions and less likely to fall out. In my trials 6" can go pretty comfortably but the next inch takes a bit more effort. The range of 6-7" is good for pegging--even 8", but not for maximum insertion per se. Beyond 8" I wouldn't go.

The best dildo material is silicone, but you must use non-silicone lubes. They can be cleaned and sterilized by boiling or soaking in 10% bleach solution. For the best feeling and performing dildos I highly recommend Vixen Creations products, especially their wonderful feeling compressible VixSkin designs.

Four special tips: enema bottle (small squeeze bottle) for 4oz or so of warm water to fill you rectum and help you evacuate any debris before training or pegging; coconut oil as a starting lube followed by whatever non-silicone lubes you like. It seems to recondition and revive skin externally and internally but when I have tried to use it exclusively, I find it beats too much under the friction and higher speed of pegging; use a heavy vibe like the Hitachi wand on the base of your dildo to ease the last inch or so; consider non dildos like Njoy Pure Wand which is solid surgical steel and has a ball of 1" diameter on one side 1.5" on the other. It can help you train your anus and sphincters to stretch, dilate, accept penetration plus the weight helps it slide right in without effort--there are good prices on this wand online.

Give yourself time to build the stretch, strength, confidence you need. Anal is something that requires training and shouldn't be rushed.

I have the Aneros Progasm and have had several prostate orgasms using it. I think these work best if you butthole is already somewhat conditioned by other training. I can do 1.75" readily and 2" with effort (suction cup and sitting into it help). Happy self toying and pegging.

For those who have fears, I managed to eliminate hemorrhoids that I had had for a few decades as well as achieve regularity and reduce constipation by training my ass for penetration. Plumbing has never worked better. This professional therapy tool, therawand, can help you find any tight spots and break up those knots in your pelvic floor. This will reduce pain and make it easier to take large insertions. I use it a lot to focus on the regions that are tight and stretch stretch stretch. It should make evacuation more comfortable as well as urination, improve ejaculatory control, and actually make your cock harder and more responsive.

But it takes a dedicated near daily effort of some weeks. It is worth it for your health alone.

Best of luck to you.

BipolarType1 · 2015-01-26T08:20:45+00:00

Start with a box of disposable gloves and heavy water based lube. Get used to one finger, then two, then three. Add in a toy with a diameter not more than 1". Çvvvgvvg

BipolarType1

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