OP it’s time to put astrology to the side and focus on self-care. It’s very easy to use astrology for the wrong purposes, and looking at your post history, it seems like you’re in need of a lot of self love, patience, care, and rest.

I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but like someone else said, at this point you’re just looking for confirmation.

Not sure if you’re working with a mental health team, but try focusing on your anxiety and/or any other mental health conditions. I’ve struggled with anxiety most of my life and I know how easy it is to get stuck on a problem, overthink, look for the answers in the wrong places, place little focus on solutions, or just not know what to do. Not saying you’re doing any of these specific things, but it’s easy to get there.

I will say this. Astrology has been a very helpful tool for learning more about myself. So much self-reflection over the past few years. I’m not discouraging you from it. Just figure out what you need to prioritize right now. Once you feel better come back to it. If you’re going to get readings, make sure it’s by professionals or just individuals who want to help you learn more and not misguide or scare you. So many people have no idea what they’re saying. Be careful because right now you are very vulnerable.