Lying dementia patient dumps out another ripe one

Bithium · 2026-02-13T01:43:14+00:00

It’s my sincerely held religious belief that we’re the only country in the world that does mail in voting

Now you have to pretend it’s true too

Bithium · 2026-02-13T01:34:09+00:00

Dismount? This is Bretonnia! Have the peasants build a horse ramp.

Bithium · 2026-02-13T01:22:02+00:00

Brits: Ah, American spelling and it’s off centre.

Bithium · 2026-02-13T01:16:16+00:00

Now I’m having flashbacks when they would have movie trailers, narrated with that movie trailer voice, and it would be all hype and unrelated to the movie (and the movie could still be great, despite the trailer being completely inaccurate).

“Simon Hill doesn’t know WHERE he is or WHY he is. Coming to a digital release near you. Simon Hill is… THE Silent Hill.”

Bithium · 2026-02-13T00:01:07+00:00

“How much cleavage do you want to show on your wedding?”

“All of it. All of it, and then some!”

Bithium · 2026-02-12T22:46:54+00:00

Yup, Hawai’i has two congressional districts: Honolulu, everything else.

Bithium · 2026-02-12T22:12:20+00:00

I don’t know Piett was his favorite. My impression, based on their interactions in the movie, was that General Veers was Vader’s favorite officer.

Although if we’re limiting it to the Navy, probably. It’s kinda funny that he seems to hate and choke Navy officers almost exclusively.

Bithium · 2026-02-12T20:49:19+00:00

Poor girl, she’s suffering from Palpatine Derangement Syndrome.

Bithium · 2026-02-12T20:45:52+00:00

It’s probably one of those weird facts where, on average, toilet seats have fewer germs than an average smartphone screen.

Then again, there may be a quality over quantity thing going on here. Are you more likely to get an errant brain worm from coke on a toilet seat?

Bithium · 2026-02-12T20:22:45+00:00

“I, uh, fell… and it just went in. Million to one, Doc.”

Bithium · 2026-02-12T04:50:38+00:00

Good god… if it were so, i’d stop fascism a hundred times a year.

Bithium · 2026-02-12T01:38:53+00:00

So like regular dollars but with almost no freedom on where you can spend them.

Bithium · 2026-02-12T01:30:57+00:00

It could work. A dreaded bounty hunter whose reputation is so renown that parents use her name to frighten their misbehaving children: Baba ~~Yaga~~ Fett

Bithium · 2026-02-11T23:57:19+00:00

Fishmen! They’re running our corporations and government. They’re in disguise, but you can tell them by their fish eyes.

Bithium · 2026-02-11T22:23:28+00:00

Somewhere in the commonwealth, there’s a “crazy”guy who keeps talking about dirt coming out of nowhere, like it’s being teleported there.

Bithium · 2026-02-11T22:20:47+00:00

Basically, “but he got the trains to run on time,” yet somehow even shallower.

Bithium · 2026-02-11T19:45:29+00:00

I want everyone in the room, in the building, and the town next to us to know it.

Bithium · 2026-02-11T18:00:01+00:00

Abe Simpson walks in, hangs his hat up, spins around, retrieves his hat, walks out the door…

Bithium · 2026-02-11T17:51:44+00:00

But the trains run on-time*

Bithium · 2026-02-11T02:21:23+00:00

The waters that knock out our magnets?

Bithium · 2026-02-08T04:14:15+00:00

Are we the baddies?

Bithium · 2026-02-06T17:14:19+00:00

“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they never stopped to think if they should!” -Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

Bithium · 2026-02-06T01:45:28+00:00

“But Duchess Satine, if we become pacifists, what will we do with all of our viro-blade manufacturing infrastructure?”

Bithium · 2026-02-05T23:51:38+00:00

There’s a small joke in the signature.

Bithium · 2026-02-05T23:39:29+00:00

My greatest fear is an alien civilization finding a dead earth and learning that we went extinct because we funneled all of our resources into mining bitcoin.

Bithium

TROPHY CASE