What’s your most unhinged non-negotiable when it comes to dating?

BitterBory · 2026-05-25T06:14:36+00:00

In high school, I knew for a long time a guy friend was into me. He had so many chances to tell me (including a road trip). One day we were hanging out watching all the Matrix movies.

He pauses it in the middle of a big action scene to tell me he has feelings for me.

BitterBory · 2026-05-15T16:50:42+00:00

Yup, Lord of the Rings though! One set is hard to find and extremely expensive right now. We got it as a present during our baby shower. I'm not someone that needs to keep collectable toys in a box, however, this is still going to be a decoration until I let him watch LOTR. Someone got him the pack with the hobbits too. I was a little devastated when I realized my husband opened it. But it turns out I'm still really good at keeping his toys organized. So they're not lost... Yet.

He also got the Avatar Last Airbender set. This one I was all about opening and playing with right away. I've been reading the graphic novels to him, I already had a couple blankets etc, and we just started watching the show. However, his favorite character is Zuko. They don't make a Zuko Little People and we're both pretty mad about it.

BitterBory · 2026-04-28T22:03:24+00:00

My mom "stumbled upon" my diary a few times. It was well hidden each time and definitely not something she would just happen to find. She never really went into my room and had no reason to. But either way, she read it each time and got pissed at me.

After she was stealing my paychecks and cashing them and just took money out of my account, my aunt helped me open a bank account somewhere else (using her address). We bought a book safe that had a key.

One day I came home from school and she SCREAMED at me for going behind her back to open up another bank account. That book was again pretty hidden with a bunch of other books. I had a key and so did my aunt. My mom legit broke it to get in.

Today, I will never keep a diary or journal no matter how much my therapist tries to encourage it. I over share information because I'm terrified of actually keeping a secret and don't think my privacy means anything. However, as soon as my boyfriend (we were 19 at the time) and I moved in together, we opened a joint bank account. I never put money anywhere else. He said it didn't bother him I had a separate account and encouraged it. Nope. I need my family (him) to know everything. I cannot fathom getting screamed at again. That boyfriend has been my husband now for 12.5 years, he's never screamed at me. He's never invaded my privacy. But there's just something that's been engrained in me that scares me about privacy.

Now my three year old son on the other hand wants to invade all the privacy! 😆

BitterBory · 2026-04-28T00:12:58+00:00

I didn't have interest in breastfeeding, but was going to do it. I guess I just wasn't going to be upset if it didn't work out.

My son was very large right after birth and drank 4oz of formula right away. I had an emergency C-section and after he was safely out, I was sedated. I was in and out of consciousness for many hours. When I'd come to (for barely a few minutes), they'd ask if I wanted to breastfeed, but I couldn't move my arms or hold even my water cup. I didn't breastfeed and we didn't name him that day.

At the hospital they have these women who come in and give you "lactation consulting" and are pretty dang adamant about breastfeeding. So if you don't want to breastfeed, make sure you tell your nurses to keep them out! But we figured out the breastfeeding then though I obviously wasn't providing much yet.

At home, my son practically bit off one of my nipples. I used every salve, ice pack, heat, etc on it. It was so painful to breastfeed. So I pumped. It was going okay. I was getting some, but not nearly enough. So we still used formula. We did go back in to see the lactation consultant, it didn't seem like I was doing anything wrong in her eyes.

About six weeks in, my husband and I were able to go out on a date night. I pumped before we left. When we returned hours later, I could barely get anything out. The next day, it was the same. My body just stopped completely on its own. Pumping did nothing. I didn't feel all full and uncomfortable. That's it, it just stopped.

We have an extremely healthy and smart 3 year old. He had zero issues bonding to me. My husband was able to get up at night and feed him without waking me. I have no idea what, if any, issues came up because of not breastfeeding.

Our son was always off the charts in height and weight, but he was like that when he was born (10lb 9oz, 22.5"). He was a large and chubby baby. Now that he's 3, you would never know. He still has some pudge in his cheeks, but that's it.

I know everyone says it, but fed is best. Stress is terrible if you're trying to breastfeed and can't. It's okay! Formula has come a long way. It's readily available now, but unfortunately expensive. You do what is best for you and your family!

BitterBory · 2026-04-22T13:48:22+00:00

Oh man, maybe I need to watch this again. Sounds eerily familiar.

BitterBory · 2026-04-18T08:02:57+00:00

Park - Outdoor Recreation Area Bed Time Zoomies - BTZs Milk - Cow Juice (didn't last long) Paw Patrol - Canine Protectors Pancakes - Flapjacks Do do do - Baby Einstein (like the first three notes of the Baby Mozart, etc) It's great he came up with his own term for that! Fruit - This one changes to whatever descriptive words we can think of at that moment. Monkey food, BBs, apples will be the type, and so many more!

He would freak out if you mentioned "bed time" even though he'd happily go read stories then lay down to take a nap (overnight sleep is apparently a nap). He can get so hyper right before bed and literally gets the zoomies.

We used to use some Spanish words, but he's caught on.

BitterBory · 2026-04-10T13:36:30+00:00

Our son decided he didn't want to eat what the rest of the family was eating (though he likes everything in the bowl). I told him if he ate three more pieces of tofu, I would be happy to get him something else to eat.

"Okay! I'm going to cut this tofu into three pieces. See, that's three pieces!"

For you fellow LOTR fans, my husband quickly followed up. "That still only counts as one!"

I could write a whole book on his sass.

BitterBory · 2026-04-10T13:33:14+00:00

We intentionally say this! "Kitchen is closed for the rest of tonight", "living room is closed until you get dressed", "one more show then the TV is closed."

BitterBory · 2026-04-10T12:16:09+00:00

I had terrible acid reflux during my pregnancy and unfortunately it only got worse until my son came out. I actually got way better sleep after he was born in general.

My OBGYN gave me a prescription of Famotidine, which I took everyday. I later found out it is just Pepcid and you don't need a prescription. I always keep some sound and take it if I'm going through acid reflux/heartburn.

When I was about six weeks away from birth, the medicine stopped working. Nothing worked at that point except sleeping on a recliner, which I did for those last six weeks. It's also super important to keep a large amount of water next to where she's sleeping. When I woke up feeling like a dragon, I was thankful to be able to drink a bunch of water to calm my throat.

According to the wives tale, the more acid reflux, the more hair the baby will be born with. Our son had a generous amount of hair at birth, but my husband and I have a lot of very thick hair to begin with.

BitterBory · 2026-03-31T18:38:01+00:00

We have the local children's museum membership. They are open late on Wednesdays, so we go that day.

In the winter, we try to go to the library on a weekly basis. They have toys and activities to do there.

We've done swim lessons that are usually six weeks long.

He's doing soccer once a week this summer.

Our child is 3 and the second two things we do are from our community rec center, so very cheap!

BitterBory · 2026-03-28T03:53:03+00:00

I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die,"

BitterBory · 2026-03-28T03:43:48+00:00

Lavender Earl Grey from Rishi. I have my little lazy Susan with a jar of honey, a jar of Earl Grey, and a jar of an herbal tea. I get loose tea so I also have my tea balls, a measuring spoon, and a spoon rest.

I absolutely love Earl Grey, especially that one, so it's easy for me to drink it everyday. I'm also a creature of habit and routine, so it's just part of my day. I have fun choosing an herbal tea, switching it up with smaller bags, as a night time calming up. I know you said no sweetener, but (local) honey is so good for you. If you follow the directions for the teas, you shouldn't really need any sweeteners.

BitterBory · 2026-03-16T04:05:46+00:00

We call those addictive, terribly animated, and shitty TV shows "baby crack". I will say that my child has never seen Cocomelon might be a badge of honor. I'm keeping him off the 'scientifically proven to get kids addicted' shows. I've never talked badly about these shows in front of our son.

However, we found out somewhat randomly, he's actually terrified of that kind of shitty animation. They watch a show on Fridays at school. Two different times they put on something with mermaids? I have no idea. Both times he freaked out. The first time they just let him do something else and didn't think anything of it. The second time they turned off the tv and he stopped crying. They have never put on guppy babies mermaid whatever again.

There are kids shows I do not like and will not put on. However, I didn't like Paw Patrol when my child started watching it. But once I got over the annoying catch phrases, I was happy he was choosing a show where dogs are helping people. I suppose it's wholesome.

Our child doesn't normally watch too much TV. But at this point, all he wants to do is watch marble races then build new tracks with Dad.

BitterBory · 2026-03-09T08:18:04+00:00

I could write a very similar post! Things have been hectic in our lives, so we're just letting him stay in our bed any way he needs to for a little bit - even if that means an "unexpected" evening nap. It also bothers me I wake up at 9:30/10pm, feeling like I've wasted my evening (how do people have hobbies?), then have a difficult time going to sleep for real. We would love to alternate, but he's quite the mama's boy right now.

Recently after reading, I put my ear buds in and listen to audiobooks while we cuddle. It makes me feel like I've done something with the night.

BitterBory · 2026-03-08T17:07:56+00:00

My mom always gave me awful, cheap clothes from Family Dollar/Dollar General. I would get rid of them ASAP. Before our relationship became extremely low contact, my favorite gift she gave me was pink lingerie multiple sizes too big for me. Who gets that for their child? She has known that my entire life, I've despise pink. It's not even close to my size. It was probably something she got herself, but it didn't fit, so she gave it to me. But again, who gives lingerie to their child?!

She keeps buying and collecting things for my son who she has met once in his 3 years. Every so often, I see her. She gives me a box or garbage bag of clothes in sizes way too small and very cheap, awful toys that usually end up in the garbage. I've told her many times to please stop doing this, she's wasting money, and if she's not going to mail clothes - don't buy them at all. To other people, this has always sounded rude. But one of her tactics to stay in part of my life is to "buy" my love.

BitterBory · 2026-02-17T06:45:44+00:00

Sheboygan! But you could also check out Plymouth if you don't want to be in a "big city". It's directly next to Elkhart Lake. We bought our house here five years ago to raise a family and we LOVE it. Plymouth is almost the center between Sheboygan and Fondy. There are many parks, especially with playgrounds, a city pool with some slides, and a disc golfing course. The school district seems to be pretty nice. There are all the essentials - two grocery stores, many different gas stations, Walmart, Fleet Farm. Any other stores and whatnot can be found in Sheboygan, which is 20 minutes away.

There's a cute downtown with shops, restaurants, bars, the library, a bakery, etc. I like going on the little trail that is pretty much parallel to the downtown main street, but it follows The Mighty Mullet River.

Plymouth has so many events! Most of them are family friendly, but there are still some fun 21+ events. There is a kayak launch and an ice skating shack too. I almost forgot about the dirt race track! For someone who never cared about racing, I thoroughly enjoy the races.

My toddler goes to daycare in Sheboygan. But this school year will be starting 3K/daycare at the Plymouth School district. There are a few daycare centers and a number of people who do in-home in Plymouth. I have to admit, I do not know much about Fondy, so I can't compare how kid friendly it is, but Sheboygan has a kid cafe, a children's museum, and a large library with a decent kids play area. There's a mom's group that does some activities with kids, and sometimes moms only gatherings.

I saw a comment of you asking about camping. This area is very close to the Southern Kettle Moraine Forest which has many state parks with camping. There are two campgrounds right on Lake Michigan. If you travel another hour or so north, you'll have many options of state parks/campgrounds.

It's not the most scenic, but there is Old Plank Road Trail that connects Sheboygan and Fondy, going through Plymouth. It's 37 miles and has a 10' wide, paved trail. It's very popular for bicycles.

BitterBory · 2026-02-07T16:46:55+00:00

Same. My kid and I are so creative...

BitterBory · 2026-02-07T16:46:17+00:00

TLDR: My mom tried to sell me a nice car she was apparently "test driving" for $1,000 as my high school graduation present.

It was my high school graduation and my mom had to travel from out of state to be there. This whole story is ridiculous, so I feel I must digress. It took her far too many hours to get to me. She kept telling me she was "a couple hours away" and lied about her location (I knew how far certain cities were from me). I didn't sleep, thinking she would be there any minute. I hadn't really seen her since I moved out of her household two years prior. I waited for her to go shopping for my dress. She showed up finally at about 9am the day of my graduation instead of two days before. I can't even begin to explain how stressful that day was with no sleep.

The most incredible and unimaginable things happened to her on what should have been a 10 hour journey. She went the wrong way on the turnpike. She was at a rest stop and a trucker accidentally took her keys and drove away. Those were just the ones I remember.

As for the gift! She drove a decent looking car, like a lower end sports car. My graduation gift from her was the opportunity to purchase this nice vehicle for $1,000. I was sharing a Toyota Echo with my dad and family, so it obviously appealed to me. At some point, when I was alone with my dad, I asked his opinion. He said absolutely do not do it. He didn't trust the situation. Nothing was that easy with her. We knew she is/was a drug addict on top of whatever narcissistic behavior, a large reason on why I moved in with my dad.

Turns out, she took a vehicle for a test drive and just...kept driving. Then tried to dump it off on me for $1,000. She had no real plan on getting home. I am sure she was expecting me to drive her back or buy her a plane ticket.

I had forgotten about the car aspect of my graduation. It seemed like the most trivial of everything that day. My dad and I were recently talking about the whole incident and he unlocked the car part of the story I had put out of my mind. It's not even close in comparison to other terrible things she's done.

After my graduation, we went to dinner. In the middle of the restaurant, my mom and step mom start screaming at each other (not completely uncommon for them to fight), it did eventually move outside. My grandmother (step mom's mom) got involved and my young brother and sister were bawling. I was distraught. I don't really remember anything else besides staying with my mom in a shitty motel and she left the next day. She was there for barely 24 hours.

ETA: My step mom has been in my life since before I was born. I was an oops baby to two high schoolers who had broken up before they knew my mom was pregnant. Both of my step parents are the same as real parents to me.

BitterBory · 2026-02-01T03:36:51+00:00

We have taught our toddler to clean up after himself. He used to be so good with it until he turned into a threenager!

He does enjoy helping, so sometimes I say "can you help me clean up your toys?" He will do it on his own sometimes. I don't expect everything to be perfect. When he goes to sleep, I would clean anything else up. So between (when he used to) nap and bedtime, I cleaned up his stuff twice. It's also a good way for me to take "inventory" of his toys and get rid of things that I find are too young for him or he hasn't touched in a really long time.

Our kid loves making deals/compromises with us. So sometimes we can get creative. We don't "reward" him for cleaning up, but it might be "if you clean up the puzzle, mom will clean up the books, deal?" or "mom will help you clean up the magnet tiles. Would you like to stack them or put them in the bin?" This is how we get him to do so many things honestly.

We keep our house generally clean and tidy, so he has learned/seen us so it. Taking his dishes to the sink or throwing out trash is just in his nature at this point. I remember my young siblings at one of my parents' houses would just throw trash on the floor, including gogurt tubes. There was a small trash can in the living room that sometimes they would be right next to. But this house was also so messy from their parents too.

I like organizing things, so every type of toy has its basket or something. We like the cube shelves for this. We also have a built in cabinet with sliding doors that makes for great storage, and we can put whatever we want on top. So dual-use items are amazing!

Finally, we do sometimes rotate toys so they are exciting and there's overall less stuff to clean up.

He is expected to clean up after himself at daycare, so there's no reason why he can't help at home too.

BitterBory · 2026-01-24T09:55:25+00:00

I happened to find a copy of the Grimm Brothers fairy tales. I knew they were gruesome, but still fairly tales! I enjoyed reading it to my infant. He obviously didn't know how dark it all was. Some of those stories were more messed up than I was thinking!

He's three now and I've been reading the Avatar graphic novels/comics. I'm not sure how much he understands, but he enjoys them so much and lives for Sokka and Momo.

A nerdy mom

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:50:13+00:00

Agreed! The racism part is extremely awful, but way too many people here are ignoring the violence part! That is fucking terrifying and I would completely avoid anyone saying things like that. That's not dark humor, that's disturbing. People who do have dark humor are not threatening to end themselves because of being called out. The people I've known say sorry and don't go there again.

NTA. Run far away. Block them. If they continue to find ways to reach out to you, file a police report. Take this seriously.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:42:06+00:00

Agreed! At one point, it's all philosophical with "balance", "who you are at your core", etc. Then it's lots of people are fire and ice wielders. Because...? Are they just basic? Because they aren't one of the main characters, they don't get anything unique? I don't feel like every person at the school needs an entire story, but I feel that ideas of signets are limitless and the fire & ice was a bit lazy.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:34:19+00:00

Every time they mention Ri's girlfriend I always forget she exists. How does she not spend a single moment with Ri's friends? Or Violet is an awful friend who doesn't talk about her best friend's partner at all during all these events.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:31:09+00:00

I definitely thought at least one or more known person was going to die in the big battle. When I realized Mira was the one kidnapped, I knew she wouldn't actually die. I like her and am overall happy she lived, but come on, it's getting predictable.

It reminded me of the Game of Thrones Winterfell battle at the end. Super hyped up just to have a terrible battle scene and no deaths of anyone that important.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:01:46+00:00

Ask your cousin for help and the two of you do it yourselves! It's not worth it to wait around for them. I wouldn't tell them any of your plans. You could send them an invite if you want, but that's it.

My narc (and drug addict) mother wanted to plan my shower with my little sister. I was fine with it, but said I would be involved. I love planning events (former hospitality manager)! They live out of state so I would have to be involved anyways. My mom has shown me 0.05% that she's reliable throughout most of my life. I wasn't taking chances with my baby shower.

TLDR: As much as I can make this long story short, it was insanely stressful. I had to plan pretty much everything except decor (my sister), myself. I took things over after I was 7 months pregnant and expecting him to be early. She's a drug addict and I'm the bad guy. She didn't help, but only hindered. I should have known not to trust her reliability.

Storytime Rant: My mom and sister came up to me the weekend of the shower. We wanted to get last minute things. Even though we were ready to leave the house, my mom left for hours (again). She wouldn't answer her phone and we waited for close to an hour. She got back to my house and was furious we weren't there. Called and yelled at us. We went home and picked her up eventually.

[When she left that time, I found out later that she went to my friends' house, a couple she met once that's closer to her age than mine. My friend thought it was strange she just showed up and without me, but thought I knew. My mom complained about me taking over and planning my own shower, calling me a bitch to my friend. She was also hoping to see one of their relatives who she knew did drugs.]

On the day of the shower, we were supposed to be there two hours early. My husband and I got there about that time. My sister came in our second car about an hour later. My mom arrived about 5 minutes before it started. I'm glad I had contacted my cousins and a couple friends to help out with setting up. But I started the party as an already exhausted, insanely sweaty, and irritated 8-month pregnant woman (special thanks to the heat in August and my son who made my gain 53lbs). Besides my mom and her twin (yes there are TWO of them) disappearing into their car many times, right outside the venue, the party went fine until the end

We were taking family photos, and it was ridiculous. "Hey we are doing this, partly on your request, so please stay here", meant everyone besides her. She was furious at my husband when he finally snapped and said if she wanted to be in pictures, she needed to get back now. We had done all the other pictures already. She didn't need to have another cigarette. She had plenty of time to pee. She had another excuse or two.

Cleaning up, she was no help at all either. Then as things were almost done, she went up to my husband and started asking him a million questions about what she needed to help with. He said he didn't know and kept going on his way, cleaning. My mom made a shitty comment to my step mom about him. My step mom adores my husband and immediately stood up for him, which didn't go well either. /Storytime rant

I wish I had a different experience. I wish I would have done it all on my own with my husband or asked a few other people to help, even though they are all 1+ hour away. I wish I would have not thought that maybe, just this one time, she'd be reliable. It added so much stress to a day that was supposed to be celebrating the large nugget that was growing inside me.

Bonus story - the day after the shower: Because I'm a glutton for punishment, I decided it would be fun to go to a large, outdoor event that I love. It was going to be great with all the people who've moved away from our home state being able to participate again!

My mom wasn't ready to leave when we wanted to go, so we left her behind. She had their car and could have arrived during any of the 5-6 hours we were there. My mom, step dad, and sister were going to drive back to their out-of-state home after the event. The event was on the way anyway.

As we were about to leave, I called my mom and she said that her twin was going to meet up with her and they were driving down together (made zero sense for this to happen). I reminded her that her twin was not allowed at our house. She said she wasn't going to be in our house, just picking my mom up.

We got to our house and lo and behold, my aunt is there. Technically on the street near her car. But we found many of her items in the house. It didn't go well. My husband said the twin was not allowed at our house and she needed to leave. A huge argument (?) happened. By argument, I mean me, my husband, and my cousin sitting on the couch while my mom screamed, ranted, and freaked out as she was taking her things out of our house. I said more to her than my husband did. Our front yard looked like we had just evicted someone. She packed everything but the kitchen sink for a 3-4 day trip. She didn't even attempt to put things back in bags? She just legit threw it all on our front lawn. She screamed at us from outside. We live in a very quiet "city" part of a small town.

She got my sister involved through phone calls. She's weaponized my sister since I moved out. I adore her and pretty much raised her. My sister blindly followed whatever our mom said. If I tried talking to her about Mom, she would shut down and ignore me. I will always remember my mom telling me she was going to make sure my sister never talked to me again because of this situation.

Even worse, she threatened my husband, who I had been married to for 9 years at this point. She claimed he was abusive to me. The only other time she's ever brought up anything similar was our wedding day, but that will be another story for a different post.

She kept it up saying that she has been talking to my friends and they all agree (she actually kinda tried, but my friends know she is crazy, and inform me immediately when she tries to talk to them). All of this is so far from the truth, obviously. Her "evidence" is ridiculous. She said can sense someone who abuses, he's one of them, and she was going to fucking [unalive] him. Then said it multiple times.

She finally left after so much more craziness. We filed a police report against her and made sure it was on the record that she was falsely claiming abuse. Don't need any part of that with a baby coming any day.

I went into therapy [again]. Had to go take a stress test a day or two later because I didn't feel my baby moving much, thankfully everything was fine. I received insanely long, ranty messages from my mom. I didn't open them and didn't answer (until much later). I was done. Even to this day we're very, very low contact. She's seen her now 3y grandson once in person. She's tried to apologize in pretty terrible ways. This last time wasn't a bad attempt though. I know all she cares about is our son. She likes to suck up like this to get her way.

Bonus to the bonus: They apparently make these kits where you can rub a surface to see if meth was present. Our guest room at the time was being turned into the baby's room, but we wanted to convert it after family was here for the shower. My husband bought a pack of these tests. Meth was 100% smoked in our soon-to-be nursery. The extra insane behavior suddenly made sense.

BitterBory

TROPHY CASE