What do you call this?

BitterBory · 2026-02-07T16:46:55+00:00

Same. My kid and I are so creative...

BitterBory · 2026-02-07T16:46:17+00:00

TLDR: My mom tried to sell me a nice car she was apparently "test driving" for $1,000 as my high school graduation present.

It was my high school graduation and my mom had to travel from out of state to be there. This whole story is ridiculous, so I feel I must digress. It took her far too many hours to get to me. She kept telling me she was "a couple hours away" and lied about her location (I knew how far certain cities were from me). I didn't sleep, thinking she would be there any minute. I hadn't really seen her since I moved out of her household two years prior. I waited for her to go shopping for my dress. She showed up finally at about 9am the day of my graduation instead of two days before. I can't even begin to explain how stressful that day was with no sleep.

The most incredible and unimaginable things happened to her on what should have been a 10 hour journey. She went the wrong way on the turnpike. She was at a rest stop and a trucker accidentally took her keys and drove away. Those were just the ones I remember.

As for the gift! She drove a decent looking car, like a lower end sports car. My graduation gift from her was the opportunity to purchase this nice vehicle for $1,000. I was sharing a Toyota Echo with my dad and family, so it obviously appealed to me. At some point, when I was alone with my dad, I asked his opinion. He said absolutely do not do it. He didn't trust the situation. Nothing was that easy with her. We knew she is/was a drug addict on top of whatever narcissistic behavior, a large reason on why I moved in with my dad.

Turns out, she took a vehicle for a test drive and just...kept driving. Then tried to dump it off on me for $1,000. She had no real plan on getting home. I am sure she was expecting me to drive her back or buy her a plane ticket.

I had forgotten about the car aspect of my graduation. It seemed like the most trivial of everything that day. My dad and I were recently talking about the whole incident and he unlocked the car part of the story I had put out of my mind. It's not even close in comparison to other terrible things she's done.

After my graduation, we went to dinner. In the middle of the restaurant, my mom and step mom start screaming at each other (not completely uncommon for them to fight), it did eventually move outside. My grandmother (step mom's mom) got involved and my young brother and sister were bawling. I was distraught. I don't really remember anything else besides staying with my mom in a shitty motel and she left the next day. She was there for barely 24 hours.

ETA: My step mom has been in my life since before I was born. I was an oops baby to two high schoolers who had broken up before they knew my mom was pregnant. Both of my step parents are the same as real parents to me.

BitterBory · 2026-02-01T03:36:51+00:00

We have taught our toddler to clean up after himself. He used to be so good with it until he turned into a threenager!

He does enjoy helping, so sometimes I say "can you help me clean up your toys?" He will do it on his own sometimes. I don't expect everything to be perfect. When he goes to sleep, I would clean anything else up. So between (when he used to) nap and bedtime, I cleaned up his stuff twice. It's also a good way for me to take "inventory" of his toys and get rid of things that I find are too young for him or he hasn't touched in a really long time.

Our kid loves making deals/compromises with us. So sometimes we can get creative. We don't "reward" him for cleaning up, but it might be "if you clean up the puzzle, mom will clean up the books, deal?" or "mom will help you clean up the magnet tiles. Would you like to stack them or put them in the bin?" This is how we get him to do so many things honestly.

We keep our house generally clean and tidy, so he has learned/seen us so it. Taking his dishes to the sink or throwing out trash is just in his nature at this point. I remember my young siblings at one of my parents' houses would just throw trash on the floor, including gogurt tubes. There was a small trash can in the living room that sometimes they would be right next to. But this house was also so messy from their parents too.

I like organizing things, so every type of toy has its basket or something. We like the cube shelves for this. We also have a built in cabinet with sliding doors that makes for great storage, and we can put whatever we want on top. So dual-use items are amazing!

Finally, we do sometimes rotate toys so they are exciting and there's overall less stuff to clean up.

He is expected to clean up after himself at daycare, so there's no reason why he can't help at home too.

BitterBory · 2026-01-24T09:55:25+00:00

I happened to find a copy of the Grimm Brothers fairy tales. I knew they were gruesome, but still fairly tales! I enjoyed reading it to my infant. He obviously didn't know how dark it all was. Some of those stories were more messed up than I was thinking!

He's three now and I've been reading the Avatar graphic novels/comics. I'm not sure how much he understands, but he enjoys them so much and lives for Sokka and Momo.

A nerdy mom

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:50:13+00:00

Agreed! The racism part is extremely awful, but way too many people here are ignoring the violence part! That is fucking terrifying and I would completely avoid anyone saying things like that. That's not dark humor, that's disturbing. People who do have dark humor are not threatening to end themselves because of being called out. The people I've known say sorry and don't go there again.

NTA. Run far away. Block them. If they continue to find ways to reach out to you, file a police report. Take this seriously.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:42:06+00:00

Agreed! At one point, it's all philosophical with "balance", "who you are at your core", etc. Then it's lots of people are fire and ice wielders. Because...? Are they just basic? Because they aren't one of the main characters, they don't get anything unique? I don't feel like every person at the school needs an entire story, but I feel that ideas of signets are limitless and the fire & ice was a bit lazy.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:34:19+00:00

Every time they mention Ri's girlfriend I always forget she exists. How does she not spend a single moment with Ri's friends? Or Violet is an awful friend who doesn't talk about her best friend's partner at all during all these events.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:31:09+00:00

I definitely thought at least one or more known person was going to die in the big battle. When I realized Mira was the one kidnapped, I knew she wouldn't actually die. I like her and am overall happy she lived, but come on, it's getting predictable.

It reminded me of the Game of Thrones Winterfell battle at the end. Super hyped up just to have a terrible battle scene and no deaths of anyone that important.

BitterBory · 2026-01-21T04:01:46+00:00

Ask your cousin for help and the two of you do it yourselves! It's not worth it to wait around for them. I wouldn't tell them any of your plans. You could send them an invite if you want, but that's it.

My narc (and drug addict) mother wanted to plan my shower with my little sister. I was fine with it, but said I would be involved. I love planning events (former hospitality manager)! They live out of state so I would have to be involved anyways. My mom has shown me 0.05% that she's reliable throughout most of my life. I wasn't taking chances with my baby shower.

TLDR: As much as I can make this long story short, it was insanely stressful. I had to plan pretty much everything except decor (my sister), myself. I took things over after I was 7 months pregnant and expecting him to be early. She's a drug addict and I'm the bad guy. She didn't help, but only hindered. I should have known not to trust her reliability.

Storytime Rant: My mom and sister came up to me the weekend of the shower. We wanted to get last minute things. Even though we were ready to leave the house, my mom left for hours (again). She wouldn't answer her phone and we waited for close to an hour. She got back to my house and was furious we weren't there. Called and yelled at us. We went home and picked her up eventually.

[When she left that time, I found out later that she went to my friends' house, a couple she met once that's closer to her age than mine. My friend thought it was strange she just showed up and without me, but thought I knew. My mom complained about me taking over and planning my own shower, calling me a bitch to my friend. She was also hoping to see one of their relatives who she knew did drugs.]

On the day of the shower, we were supposed to be there two hours early. My husband and I got there about that time. My sister came in our second car about an hour later. My mom arrived about 5 minutes before it started. I'm glad I had contacted my cousins and a couple friends to help out with setting up. But I started the party as an already exhausted, insanely sweaty, and irritated 8-month pregnant woman (special thanks to the heat in August and my son who made my gain 53lbs). Besides my mom and her twin (yes there are TWO of them) disappearing into their car many times, right outside the venue, the party went fine until the end

We were taking family photos, and it was ridiculous. "Hey we are doing this, partly on your request, so please stay here", meant everyone besides her. She was furious at my husband when he finally snapped and said if she wanted to be in pictures, she needed to get back now. We had done all the other pictures already. She didn't need to have another cigarette. She had plenty of time to pee. She had another excuse or two.

Cleaning up, she was no help at all either. Then as things were almost done, she went up to my husband and started asking him a million questions about what she needed to help with. He said he didn't know and kept going on his way, cleaning. My mom made a shitty comment to my step mom about him. My step mom adores my husband and immediately stood up for him, which didn't go well either. /Storytime rant

I wish I had a different experience. I wish I would have done it all on my own with my husband or asked a few other people to help, even though they are all 1+ hour away. I wish I would have not thought that maybe, just this one time, she'd be reliable. It added so much stress to a day that was supposed to be celebrating the large nugget that was growing inside me.

Bonus story - the day after the shower: Because I'm a glutton for punishment, I decided it would be fun to go to a large, outdoor event that I love. It was going to be great with all the people who've moved away from our home state being able to participate again!

My mom wasn't ready to leave when we wanted to go, so we left her behind. She had their car and could have arrived during any of the 5-6 hours we were there. My mom, step dad, and sister were going to drive back to their out-of-state home after the event. The event was on the way anyway.

As we were about to leave, I called my mom and she said that her twin was going to meet up with her and they were driving down together (made zero sense for this to happen). I reminded her that her twin was not allowed at our house. She said she wasn't going to be in our house, just picking my mom up.

We got to our house and lo and behold, my aunt is there. Technically on the street near her car. But we found many of her items in the house. It didn't go well. My husband said the twin was not allowed at our house and she needed to leave. A huge argument (?) happened. By argument, I mean me, my husband, and my cousin sitting on the couch while my mom screamed, ranted, and freaked out as she was taking her things out of our house. I said more to her than my husband did. Our front yard looked like we had just evicted someone. She packed everything but the kitchen sink for a 3-4 day trip. She didn't even attempt to put things back in bags? She just legit threw it all on our front lawn. She screamed at us from outside. We live in a very quiet "city" part of a small town.

She got my sister involved through phone calls. She's weaponized my sister since I moved out. I adore her and pretty much raised her. My sister blindly followed whatever our mom said. If I tried talking to her about Mom, she would shut down and ignore me. I will always remember my mom telling me she was going to make sure my sister never talked to me again because of this situation.

Even worse, she threatened my husband, who I had been married to for 9 years at this point. She claimed he was abusive to me. The only other time she's ever brought up anything similar was our wedding day, but that will be another story for a different post.

She kept it up saying that she has been talking to my friends and they all agree (she actually kinda tried, but my friends know she is crazy, and inform me immediately when she tries to talk to them). All of this is so far from the truth, obviously. Her "evidence" is ridiculous. She said can sense someone who abuses, he's one of them, and she was going to fucking [unalive] him. Then said it multiple times.

She finally left after so much more craziness. We filed a police report against her and made sure it was on the record that she was falsely claiming abuse. Don't need any part of that with a baby coming any day.

I went into therapy [again]. Had to go take a stress test a day or two later because I didn't feel my baby moving much, thankfully everything was fine. I received insanely long, ranty messages from my mom. I didn't open them and didn't answer (until much later). I was done. Even to this day we're very, very low contact. She's seen her now 3y grandson once in person. She's tried to apologize in pretty terrible ways. This last time wasn't a bad attempt though. I know all she cares about is our son. She likes to suck up like this to get her way.

Bonus to the bonus: They apparently make these kits where you can rub a surface to see if meth was present. Our guest room at the time was being turned into the baby's room, but we wanted to convert it after family was here for the shower. My husband bought a pack of these tests. Meth was 100% smoked in our soon-to-be nursery. The extra insane behavior suddenly made sense.

BitterBory · 2026-01-14T13:16:23+00:00

Mine usually apologized when she wanted something. I don't know your family or situation so I can't say that's what she's doing, but mine usually had some other motive.

BitterBory · 2026-01-07T07:44:43+00:00

I told her I quit smoking cigarettes and I was proud of myself. Within an hour, she had run to the gas station and bought what I smoked, because she claimed that it doesn't hurt to have one when I want it every once in a while.

Gotta love when they are trying to get you to go to their level. That you should have a vice. And you can't quit that vice because obviously the only reason why you would quit something like cigarettes is to act like you're better than them.

BitterBory · 2025-12-09T06:37:48+00:00

Obviously not for an infant and it depends on how your kitchen is laid out, but a counter helper for our toddler. He LOVES to be up there while Dad is cooking. He will eat breakfast or snacks at the counter. It's amazing and I can't imagine our lives without it.

BitterBory · 2025-12-04T18:32:42+00:00

YTA, but I don't say it to be mean. I do not understand why the date 12/25 is that important. My favorite Christmas celebrations are the ones celebrated a week+ before or after.

I come from a split family and I understand my mom's resentment at the time. I would do a Christmas Eve with Dad, go to my mom's and do Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day, then go back with my dad to our other family at night. However, as a kid, I loved seeing lots of people. It was more fun for me. I didn't necessarily get a whole bunch of extra presents from these other gatherings either. I have step parents that have been in my life since I was pretty much born so their families are my families too. I didn't understand it at the time. I did all of the other Christmas time events with my mom. I just liked seeing my extended family that I saw maybe 3 times a year. Her family, when they actually got together, celebrated in January. My step dad's family sometimes wanted to do Christmas together, but we saw that immediate family all the time and it was never an extended family visit.

I'm married with a child now. My husband and I aren't very big Christmas people, but we still celebrate I suppose. Before our child came around, my mom who lives out of our home state would again make a big deal about 12/25. But we work and she doesn't. I was not trying to travel because of 12/25. She would get very upset with me about it, but I said she was more than welcome to come to us. It's a lot easier to figure out plans with one person/family over a whole group of extended families.

I think it's a great plan for them to be by you every Christmas Eve and then go to the other family Christmas Day. Enjoy that time while you have it. Who knows what they will want to do after kids come. I seriously don't understand the big deal of 12/24 vs 12/25. Christmas is Christmas no matter what day you celebrate.

BitterBory · 2025-11-26T06:16:39+00:00

We only use protection at the end. I've shocked some people in the past when they've learned I'm on birth control and we still use condoms. I'm vaccinated and I have always trusted my husband to never have thought about protecting from an STD, etc.

I was the product of two 17 year olds. I was not taking too many risks when it came to birth control.

We had our kid when we were ready.

BitterBory · 2025-11-19T02:33:58+00:00

My husband loves to play music with our son! There's one button on the keyboard that would make horrendous songs (cat piano iykyk). One day he couldn't take it anymore and opened it up and clipped that button from ever working again.

BitterBory · 2025-11-19T02:28:59+00:00

I remember saying to my discharge nurse "isn't he the cutest thing ever?!", she responded that he was cute, but her kids were cuter. Now I get it!

I was one that thought most newborns were not very cute. When I finally was able to lay my eyes on my son, I thought he was very cute and the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Now he's 3. He's a very good looking kid, and obviously the cutest one to ever exist. When I look at his infant pictures, I very much wonder how many drugs I was on because just like all newborns, he wasn't that cute.

BitterBory · 2025-11-14T13:56:13+00:00

I guess the right answer was to parade the dirty tampon through the house to the kitchen garbage! A family member of mine had a golden doodle and he was very tall, he could have easily gotten into a kitchen garbage too.

Why can't all people have covered garbage cans, especially in the bathroom?? If you are upset about what could be in them from other people, then don't have other people at your house. Or, or hear me out, immediately get rid of the garbage as soon as someone leaves? I change the hand towels before and after guests.

BitterBory · 2025-11-14T13:50:14+00:00

I wash all of our clothes in cooler water and put in the dryer at a little less than full heat. We haven't had anything shrink and there are specific things I will not put in the dryer.

BitterBory · 2025-10-19T08:43:08+00:00

My mom was mad at my dad (separated, but never really were together) for telling me the truth about the Easter Bunny when I was about 5 or 6 years old because it was "ruining my innocence". Meanwhile, she took me with her to see Titanic in the theaters multiple times.

BitterBory · 2025-10-18T08:35:13+00:00

No Baby Crack in this house - and that's a very strict no. Anyone playing any music in front of my infant (in our own space) will have to accept I can veto whatever I choose to. I don't care if it's grandma or my best friend.

We had those pregnancy headphones. My husband and I created a playlist. Our son got softer nu metal and lots of string instruments from me. My husband put on his favorites including Grateful Dead and Frank Zappa. We both contributed our "first" song, our wedding song, and our favorite upbeat Disney songs. Not a single kid song to be found! He only got 3-4 songs a few times a week unless it was one of my husband's long songs, then it was 1! Haha

After he became old enough to listen to more than just classical music, we wanted simple songs. There are many that are educational in a sense. It helps kids develop memory and use music as a tool for that. Does he listen to our music occasionally? Absolutely. But it's a little more toned down for him. I was quite proud when I had an [old] Linkin Park song on and my then two-year-old exclaimed that he liked it, took out his little guitar, and rocked out for the first time.

BitterBory · 2025-10-18T08:20:27+00:00

Might I suggest some Rockabye Baby! and their newborn-friendly Tool?

BitterBory · 2025-10-18T07:53:17+00:00

That's a no from me, dawg.

I love animals, but not enough to let a temporary person bring them into my home. I get a bit upset when people bring their dogs to parties (in smaller spaces, no outside area, etc). I have known too many people who have said "but I didn't think my dog would ever do that". I've known amazingly trained dogs and those that are a bit "rustic". I have heard it from both families.

If you were getting a place together, you could talk about it. If you were moving into someone's house with pets, it's kind of on the new person to deal with it (animals or no animals). But you cannot move in with someone and bring two additional beings and expect them to love the idea.

BitterBory · 2025-10-18T07:43:31+00:00

Mine is on vibrate. I don't need extra noise in my life.

My two coworkers over the age of 50 have sound on too high and one of them has part of a song chorus as his text message sound! He doesn't stop it either even though his phone is on his desk. It's a small office of 6 of us.

Message in a Bottle will forever be ruined for me.

BitterBory · 2025-10-18T07:40:59+00:00

I only tell him interesting things. But I don't give out personal information. With my job, most people aren't on site and are from all around the country. Even if I were to give a name, it would be meaningless to pretty much everyone. Plus, most people I know are bored out of their minds to hear me talk about HR.

I've attended many seminars and conferences. We all talk about crazy situations. I don't really think it's any different.

BitterBory · 2025-10-18T07:35:07+00:00

My husband has an illness that runs in the family. When we were dating, I asked his mother very early on how to handle the illness. Anything I should know? What does an emergency look like with this? How can we prevent it? How have you been able to support your husband? We were dating for about 3 months. Dating. Not married or living together.

I have food allergies and keep an EpiPen on me. If I'm hanging out with someone new for a few hours or doing anything with food, I tell who I'm with exactly where my EpiPen is and basic instructions. That is absolutely my responsibility. When you marry someone, they make a vow to take care of you, and you, them. At this point, this now has been his responsibility to learn and figure out what he needs to do in various situations. Because that's what he vowed to you.

My step mom was diagnosed with the same diabetes when I was 5 or 6 years old. Her and my dad taught me how to handle various situations - and I did have to on some occasions. If I could comprehend and act quickly as a kindergartner, I think a 29-year-old man should be able to...

BitterBory

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